What do I do?
With all these thoughts
They run around in this room
Where I fear their doom
What do I do?
Of the quiet ravages
These savages cut me inside
Where lies a deep divide

Thousand words
Dumber than space itself
The beast lies still
As the beauty dies

Remember when you said
You'd remember me forever
And here I am stuck forever
In this painful void
Where I fear my doom
What do I do?
Of the quiet ravages
These savages cut me inside
Where lies a deep divide

Thousand words
Dumber than space itself
The beast lies still
As the beauty dies

Singing songs
Of promises and perhaps probabilities and possibilities
Unforgivably forgetting
The selling of your soul and its forbearance.
Provocation upon provocation.

Do not make me promises.
Do not cut open your veins to show
How you bleed my very soul inside you and outside
Do not love me more than I can love you
Let me be so sane
Do not gift me a piece of your soul so raw and blisteringly breathtaking
Luminosity unparalleled and the strength of the womb of a dying sun

For I shall sell even my soul
Rub off my existence from each scrap of nothingness
Rein in my existence to the void
For I shall not stop searching the vastness of this universe situated in my twisted mind
To bring you the most beautiful of sacrifices just to show
What you are to me.

Provocation upon provocation
Upon the existence of life
Of rationality
Of stories old and new
I love you
As much as I can with this hollow temporary shell
On a spinning ball of rock
For an infinitesimally small a moment
I love you
As much as any being of stardust can
And more

They say you are born
Naked, with no identity
No name
And no face
Like any other
You are born, crying
A brand new star
Another unknown amalgamation of all that gives life
A fresh start
But not to everyone

For some of us
Are born closer to the earth
A genetic result of a thousand generations
Manifesting its way into marks on my being
Unseen
Unknown
Unwanted
We have a name for us
By Birth

Wherein we are doomed to the fires of hell
If hell were on Earth
And it is here for us
A simple cage with no bars
The burden of a thousand years
And markings made by routine
Justified by the Great Souls
Deeming it but mere control

And even if I change
Resist and break
They say I was born this way
That my mother's womb has left indelible marks I can never erase
A curse that made me wonder
Should I have been born at all?
To feel as deserving as literal baloney
Never to be touched
Never to be felt
Never to be heard
Never to be seen
Dehumanized to an extent where I cannot even believe any more that the sky is blue
Or that there exists the air around me which I need to breathe, to live
I'm no more than a pollutant
Upon the back of whom this world works
But who never sees the light above
Who was supposed to be filtered away into oblivion
Who was always supposed to be the nonentity
The stubborn stain that will not go away

I can never erase
My name
My identity
Even if I pretend
Or literally rip the skin off my face and wear another
If I achieve anything in this world
I shall be put up on a wall to showcase
The marks my mother's womb left
The marks that I can never erase

For some of us were born to hug the earth
Make it our home and heart
The backbone of this whole wide world
The wombs that faced physical retribution and degradation
Of the cruelest kind possible
To be told you can never be better
Than irrelevant specks of dust
Swept beneath an apologetic herd

For some of us are born closer to the earth
I bear my marks with shame no more
I shall take what was mine
I shall bow no more

I never have loved
Playing with words on my mouth
They're a lavish redundancy
I merely write them
To stop an overflow
So my dams do not crack
Where I nurture reservoirs of
Everything

So I will not speak out loud
I shall let my fingers
Whisper a word
Or an emotion
A long lost feeling
Or its phantom
Uncertain, yet not absolutely so

I shall let my lips touch you so
Subtly as the first and last vestiges of sunlight
I shall let my soul move you in ways you have never imagined
And oh so softly and gently
I shall let my eyes open to you
Gaze deeper inside yours as can be
Whispering the same thing
Over and over and over

I shall speak only what is important
And even so, it shall only be repeating
Repeating everything I would have already said

Cut to the chase
giving you a brand new leash
Returning to what I was
Never forgetting
What you've been

Bite the knife
'Cause you've got another day
and Another time
to be another gambler
Another vindicator

Get up off your knees
and smell the rain
The smell of death
mingles in the air

In isolation
Alone, without you
And no consolation
Could console
My heart, my soul
One day, you walk to me
And an angel smiled
Upon my heart and destiny
Decided what was meant to be

Cheated death by living
But in a moment with you
And I wonder
How do you?

The hurricane, melting away
the memories and the pain
Your eyes, created the storm
Your smile, killed me a thousand times
To revive me, to forget pain
To stand up, again
And I cheated death by living
But in a moment with you
And I wonder
How do you?

I was a kid, immature
Hurtful and ignorant
How would I have known
What I'd lose
For I lost heaven itself

Left your side
When you were fighting
Sulked out
When you were leaving
Yet you smiled
And you said, 'Don't worry'
And all I did was
Wonder
How do you?

Blinding flashes
I know them now
They are your sparks
Baby, they are your sparks

You sparkle
at night and in light
You wonder
But I shiver
in awe and in fright

You've stunned
my unshakeable beliefs
You've loved
this moronic relief
You rose
when I fell
You fought
And I can tell
Those shivery thoughts
From dreams apart
I know them now
They are your sparks
Baby, they are your sparks

The brilliance of your stalwart smile
The moonlight on which your feet tread
Though I may bend or I may walk
A thousand miles beneath the sea
Where my love stayed, frightened of
Of missing you and misery

And all those stupid memories
That you ever gave to me
Had meant I loved you more and more
Till it became an ecstasy

You've revived
My long lost dreams
You've loved
This stone cold fiend
You rose
When I fell
You fought
And I can tell
Those shivery thoughts
From dreams apart

I know them now
They are your sparks
Baby, they are your sparks

Corsing through the veins
Another being inside my skin
Scarred and revealing
A diminished white dwarf
Or a shiny black hole
Dreams never radiating

I cannot breathe any longer
As I did
Another being inside my skin
Making me stronger

Souls with shady stains
Relics from the darkest reign
Ravaged yet remaining
Jupiter pulling at the seas
Or the desire of the lovelorn moon

I cannot live any longer
As I did
You're the being inside my skin
A chalice of harmony
And an aura angelic

As fast as your death nears
Fate loomed over
As the rain of innocent tears
Shadows recover
And the undertow of the pain
Brings you back

No need to see
But to smell the ashes
And the pain you feel
As the dream crashes
And yet you feel
That small insignificant heartbeat
Those lotus flowers yet unfurled
Those fearless survivors
Those lights around the street

As warm as the summer seas
Love took over
As the winds softly tease
Death recovers
Fake contemptuous voices
Hold you back

Waking up again
An ache inside your chest
Yet nothing compares
And after the rest
Is what you feel
That small insignificant heartbeat
Those eyes that haven't been opened
Those hearts that haven't beaten
Those determined survivors
That life inside the beat

As fierce as the bee sting
Revolution took over
As the final homecoming
Life recovers
And you are free
Nothing can hold you back

Buried in a minefield
Or a meadow of stars
A shackle or a shield
Inimitably reducing
Any conformity and its need
Creating its memories
Killing its creed

I'm dying slowly
Or living fast
Falling in love
Falling out
I fall in a different darkness
I chase a different sunbeam
Each moment

Buried in a minefield
Or a graveyard of affection
A repentance of a curse
And a wretched reflection
On an artificial iron lung
An everyday chore
In galaxies far-flung

I'm dying slowly
Everything is
Slowly
Even the sun will go cold
I'm dying slowly
Everything is
Regret

Old knees creaking
Never really running and never giving in
And their souls are screaming
For the graves beckoning

Deep in the hearts of flowers
Where the fragrances lie dormant still
There are burning desires
Where shadows flirt
And minds still deny
A destiny unfruitful

And that is where my heart does lay
Where your feet walked upon the earth
And your smile rushed through the mirth
And that is where my heart does lay
Where your fragrance still is felt
And your lips touched mine
And no war will erase this memory

Close your eyes
Listen to your heartbeats go slowly
It is but a slow countdown
And there are no lies
No lies, when you close your eyes

Set inside
That human part
The clockwork that is taken apart
Though the gears never melted
And the storms that never settled

Your blood sleeps
Through the days and nights
Cold and dead
Waiting to burn bright

Once said he
A great humane being
Listening to the countdown
And all the truth
All because he closed his eyes

"That wars may come
And wars may go
But my soldiers, they remain eternal
And always have done so"

Place your dreams
In the graves
As you have done forevermore
Though the lights haven't all gone out
Though the darkness hasn't won out

Tied to the train tracks
Sometimes its impossible
To walk away
To run away

Caught between the headlights
Sometimes its impossible
To look away
To fly away

Darkness makes mockery
Out of all your suffering
Beaten black and blue
Always forgetting
Yet never forgiven

Shaped by destiny
Way out of here
Is a place where you lay
And sacrifice yourself
But its not here
You're immortal here
Except for the beasts
Carrion for the late
Game for the devils
Epitome of hate

Wingless tragedies
Sometimes its impossible
To cry away
And to deny

Tides of the seas
Of the long lost rebellions
and
Tides of the
Tempest around you and me


The skies had surrounded me
But now all that is left are ashes


I remember when you said
I never understood what you meant
Though whispers flew near my heart
Taking me all the way back to the start


Tides of the seas
Of the lovelorn islands
and
Tides of the
Tempest around you and me


And even though as final as death may seem
I can yet wait an eternity

Silver
A crooked back beneath
An epiphany
Of scars and the toil
Of generations
Dancing through the veil
Of destruction

Shiver
A pedestal behind
The curtains of dark embodiments
The tragedy of life
Of generations
Dancing through the veil
Of destruction

Moonlight
The bleeding death of a collapse
Unending
Silent
Misdemeanor finally revealed
Dancing through the veil
Of destruction

The requiem for your soul
The corkscrew of words
The iron, wrinkle your folds
The messenger of dreams
The insider, the mole

Your repose from the turmoil
The engine of your love
The labour of your toil
Your eternal defender
The rescuer of despoil

All I ever was
All I ever will be
All you need
I am all you need

Dreams don't let you sleep
Dreams won't keep you awake
A silent decision
For you to make
A revelation lies in wait


Faraway worlds of wonders
Faraway worlds of hopes
But one decision
For you to make
A revelation lies in wait


Balanced on a see-saw
Your soul untarnished
Imminent death awaits
For all established
For it cannot wait
It works on fallacies
Fallacies about fate
About love and hope
About blood and hate.

A stream flows
In a dark place
Sunlight flitting in
Making its own plays
Uncovering the face

The silence isn't deafening
Except it lacks hearts that are beating
Wishers and wishing wells
Womb of unbridled starts
Building of the building blocks

Aeons pass
And the stream never stops
For its dormancy
Was well worth the stop
Aeons will pass
And the stream won't cease
Like the falling leaves
Like the summer breeze
And the wintry trees

Though nothing stays forever
There exist eternities
All the times that have ever been
Are or someday will ever be
Turned into a soliloquy

A stream flows
In my soul
Revolutions cascading
Mocking all and making
Teaching and reminiscing

You're the half-sun,
in the sea and in the sky
so behind a vessel of clouds
You make rainbows

You're the half-sun,
drifting through the shallow seas
go over and under, and over
spray your light and run

You're the one half-sun
in a sea of stars
your might and your heart
You're the one, the one half-sun

Sorry
I feel nothing else
Drowning in disasters
Complete release
I feel nothing else
Repeated blunders
And running into tree trunks
I feel nothing else
But regret

Slowly filling all existence
Like a slow implosion
Without the slightest resistance
I see life and death
Unworthy of reminiscence
Unworthy of acknowledgement

Sorry
I feel nothing else
Sinking under the weight
Anchored among wishes
I feel nothing else
Anymore

Close as can be
Her voice sears through my very existence
Shallows my grief
Taints my fury with glows of humor
Close as can be
Her breath shatters all my delusions
Swallows my fears
Shames my desires with her mighty gravity
My soul in this world
The final tether to my being
The final piece of my resistance

Stifling my sorrow
Cold to the bone
Slow stoked fire burning
Through the hell below
Turning back I think
It was only a tomorrow
In my head

As the tempest whispered in my ears
Foretold of the impending doom
I looked at your fair face
And I knew, whatever the shadow
Together we'll embrace
And I knew, whatever the fate
Together we'll lay to rest

Reminiscence floods
The earth kissing
your feet caressing her
On all the flowers
And all the thorns
Turning back I think
It was only a tomorrow
In my head

Hard to forget but its hard to stop
As fate cuts a way open
The walls are always broken
The windows are always shattered
But she had held on to you
The doors are always open
But she had held on to you

As my memories fade
Eternal damnation awaiting
As I lose myself here
I never will lose you
Never again
Turning back I think
It was only a tomorrow

Its all in my head
In my head after all

A sparkle in the heavens
Sundry lives, no destination
But your very incarnation
And nothing else mattered
But you and I

A bewitching atmosphere
Crying out, as my heart did
I was no longer morbid
'Cause nothing else mattered
But you and I

Questions of existence
Lovers inane
What do they matter if we stood together
Dislodged conscience
Finally sane
What do they matter if we stood together

Together we row
Below the thousand suns
And the sea of the homecoming
The coming of the loved ones

The eternity predisposed
To let its wrath out too
I cannot live without you
For nothing else mattered
But you and I

Somber, the wind calls out
Another storm out here
Despairingly you go seek out
All that you despair
Death won't came at you outright
She only sits and stares
Like footsteps in shallow water
She calls you to her lair

Come out all the waylaid
Its the sun inside
Devour your demons
Your heart and your might
Your smile and your pride

It can never matter, how I feel
now and then
Its all about you
and always has been

Remember the warmth
Of my love,
Never forget
The things that you said

Tears fall
and hearts break
Love crumbles
But is never dead

It can never matter, what I say
now and then
Its all about you
and always has been

Hold the bright side of the moon
Never surrender
But to yourself
The rekindling fire

Mighty callings of the world
Never believe
But in yourself,
The force of nature

It can never matter, where I am
now and then
Its all about you
and always has been

For the weird stuff
That life holds in its miniature existence
My life
For the weird stuff
That life calls its essential essence
My life

Numb everything that I felt
Slowly pushing it all away
I resist from the night hereby
Slowly sinking inside
Forever is too far away

I shall die when my breath stops
But my heart has stopped already
I have died but a thousand times
Disdainful laughter from destiny
I have died but a thousand times
In this cozy bubble wherein
Hurt is supposed to be further
Than we're supposed to believe

Numb everything that I felt
And everything that is
Shut up I cannot take it anymore
It and everything that is
Slowly drowning inside
Forever is too far away

For this is not weird
And neither am I
Its but a mystery
Too seek and find within
Its but a conspiracy
Or maybe I'm out of my mind

Numbing doesn't work any more
Nothing does
ANYMORE

The smell of burning and sparks around
The rumble rolling through the heart
You knew it always from the start

Silent whispers from near and far
Songs of love, songs bemoan
Songs about the brightest star
Songs of you and me and us
And long lost love, which is alone
In that little something in your heart

Let fear blow away from you
As you let the waves wash over
As you go flying over

The brilliant stars beneath your feet
They beckon you, they call you now
The wind at the corner of your street
The shadows of the moonlit trees
They beckon you, they call you now
To that little something in your heart

I was born
A raised fist
A superman
A self-esteem built through
Tender love
I was born
A commitment
A future
My eyes carried a flame inherited
Relentless struggle
Scars and shadows that underlines
Everything that we are

As time leaves us behind
I understand
My fists opened up
They come together
In a series of
Shame and regret
Missed opportunity
A wasted life
Wasted dreams when I heard
Nothing because I closed my ears
Shut my eyes
Spoke no more
Dead outside as within
I understand but I cannot
Accept
Reject this being with all its glory
Glory and an endless sob story

I was born with a flame
I will extinguish it
Keep the coal warm till it crumbles
With the ashes let another write
Write my sins down to remember
Write me down to remember
Remember
Fist
Fire
Forging dreams
Feeling love

Forgiveness is a gift
I refuse to take with me
Remember to bury me under
Flowers of Passion
Remember to bury me

Punch the walls in desperation
I'm just another one
Another one of the walking dead
There's no hope, no consolation

Screaming at the emptiness
And wondering of a million ways
Of a million ways
That I could make you understand

As the storm came
I ran as fast as I could
I left you behind
I ran into the darkness
Where the skies are starless
Where our dreams turned to ashes

The seeds of love were washed away
On my dead knees I walked away
I walked away
Away from all I ever had

The rains only brought despair
Yet all your smiles were in my head
Were in my head
That I could hang on to forever

As the storm came
I ran as fast as I could
Yet here I am now
Take me away from this darkness
Save me from my regrets
Let our dreams rise again