I wish I could tell you how often the thought of you creeps itself into my mind. It's the simple things that do it, too.  Something so small like the way you grind your teeth in your sleep or the way your face crinkles when you smile while making that adorable laugh. Before long, I'll even find myself in conversation about you without realizing it. You're my first and last thought of the day.

I've been told I could do better, but you don't really get to choose who you fall in love with. I don't want "better". I just want you.
I have so much love to give, and it's only for you.

I wish I could tell you all these things. I'm okay, and I understand.

The newborn shock and delight of a handlit firework stick
can dissipate in less than 3 seconds.

The patience in an hour standing in line for a 30 second thrilling roller coaster ride, is what everyone thinks living in the moment is.

But sometimes I don't mind the longing and emptiness that remains long after

because I want to be a splash of exurbance in people's lives, disappearing in a flash when love is finally settled.

I'd want people to miss me for eternity, but at the same time I'd escape eternities full of flaws and misunderstandings with them.

So if goodbye is what it takes to be remembered or longed for so achingly,

Capture the person's smile and all your favorite things before
letting go.

I wish to age like a wrap-around porch
In a thunder storm,
While generations tell tales,
Sipping drinks.
A porch of blinking stars,
A shelter out of rain,
With ascending and descending friends.

I will age like a tree,
Grow stronger in the wind;
Give shade and shelter to all
Beneath my ring-aged limbs.

I wish to age as a river bends,
Contiguous with all shores;
Floating everyone I know
On eternal waters,
A current winding with no rest.

I will age like a star,
Burning bright, giving light,
Something to reach for.

I wish to age like a mountain,
With secret caves and riches.
And you can rock your soul
Around, over or through,
Solid, snow-capped summit,
Beckoning you.

I will age as the moon,
In stages, full and new;
Each night different,
Unnoticeable fading,
As all who age will do.

On the outer
carapace of it,
     all seems ok
I am held
together by
single dry thre
                        a ds
like wire
and strips of
sinews
they keep me
tightly-wrapped,
a package of
molten powders
secret dynamite
waiting to
    e x p l o d e  in
exotic ticks
      of clockwork
but one scratch
beneath the surface
reveals my
inner truth:
How I wish,
by those
whorled and spiraled
powers above,
for the gently fluted
forces of my being
to be parted
like sacred seawater
with my psyche
   f l o a t i n g
just beyond
the zing of
       my brain,
no rational
           understanding
required
yes. I long
to be ever-slowly
           unraveled,
layer by layer
cell by cell
until all that is left
are the platelets
pulsating between
this heart
           and yours
each beat
betraying an
acute intensity
of how
I felt it,
      this tender
electricity
that crackled
        through and
                 between
            our bones
          from the
        very
      beginning
of
    our quiet blaze
our pinnacle
our quirky
metallic
     textures
our breath
mingling over
airwaves
         in heated
                 fluidity
   hotly drenched
in the iridescent
  dust of our
     star-marked
                     time

Don't go so fast
You forget to look at the stars
Again

His cheek bones tightened with a little bit of a masterpiece,
yet I can see a small beautiful grin right underneath.

She looks at me,
And my world turns upside down.
Oceans don't seem so deep,
The sky at my feet.
She crashes into me like a wave,
And her hair curls around my finger like the tide.

His eyelashes flutter in the dark, lost within themselves,
every breath he took was taken with his demons sitting on his shelves

She can hardly breathe,
I know that now
Will all this talk of being deep
And yet she starts to drown

He built her into a gun, loaded her up,
made her say things she wouldn't

She crashes.
She looks beautiful as she breaks

He kisses her,
He tore himself apart first

I let her hands
Find mine

and so our hearts
were intertwined

eliminate any means
of dependence

2. perform simple everyday tasks
with grace,
and be prepared to face
the bigger ones

3. reflect upon yourself,
do what is right, and there will be
no need to feel regret

4. live for yourself,
for your happiness
that is real

5. forgive yourself first,
and then
forgive others

6. make the people
involved in your life
happy

7. let go of the past,
appreciate the present,
and embrace
the future