My feelings
are changing.

I feel renewed and
f r e s h
like the blossoms
on a cherry tree,
or the fresh smell of growing grass
peeking through the melting snow.
When the rain comes,
dance with me.
Then take my hand, sit,
and watch as the rainbow
emerges from the dark clouds.

As the months go by,
we become more comfortable
in the summer heat.
The storms are stronger
but the sun is brighter,
w a r m e r.
And I want to spend every night
cozy by a fire with you.
No responsibilities or cares,
just sharing the humid air
and closing the space between us.

Then the color comes
and washes away the green
with beautiful hues of red and orange
and everything is dying beautifully.
But darling,
not you and I.
The nights are colder,
c r i s p e r.
Somehow, everything seems more fragile,
and I think you feel it too
as you press your icy,
October evening lips
gently onto mine.

Now,
the frosty chill of winter is upon us
and I am wrapping myself up in you.
So warm and
c o m f o r t a b l e,
like my favorite sweater.
Feeling your warm breath
on my neck
and your hands
on my hips.
If only this perfect moment,
our beautiful, ever-changing moment,
could last forever.

The spring will come again,
but for now
I only need you
to make me feel new.

When I was fourteen, and your eyes locked with mine
Like I was the only one you saw in a crowded room.

When you held my hand for the first time
And I got so many butterflies my stomach physically hurt.

When we counted the stars in my backyard,
And you told me you loved me under the glow of the moon.

When we chased fireflies on an early summer evening
And I wished you would always love me when the bug flew from my fingertip...

I’ve never felt more alive than I did in these moments.

Before I’d been broken
More than my fair share of times,
Before the scars healed over,
And became part of my soul,

I loved without fear,
                                  Without regret,
                                                       ­   Without conscience,
                                                   ­                                     Without holding back.

And I think maybe that’s why
My heart will always have a place for you...

Because you take me back to a time
When the most bitter taste in my mouth
Came after I said, “See you tomorrow”
When I dreamt about the sea because it reminded me of your eyes.

You take me back
To when I loved with my whole, beating heart
Instead of a ******, mangled mess.
And because of that,

I’ll never stop loving the thirteen year old boy
Who showed me what it meant to love
And I’ll never stop
Dreaming of the sea.

I never felt
like I belonged
Anywhere
until I met you.
Before you,
I floated and drifted
but never found
a place I could call
my own.
In your arms
Was the only place
Where I ever felt
Like I belonged,
Like I was home.
That cold, February night,
I settled into you
and knew you were the home
I’d been searching for
for so long.
You silenced my demons
so I could sleep
safe and sound
next to you.
There aren’t many things
I wouldn’t give
to lie next to you again
and wake up to your lips
on my cheek,
or stay in bed with you
until the late afternoon
forgetting that
time even existed.
It wasn’t until I met you
that I realized
home isn’t a place;
sometimes it’s a person.
And mine had blue eyes,
a reckless smile,
and I loved him.
I still do.
I always will.