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healing is not easy.
some days i allow the sadness
to engulf me like an avalanche.
feeling the pain in each and every one
of my bones.

other days,
it’s r a g e.
a fire that refuses to stop.
decimating all in its path.

and then,
there’s the joy.
like gazing at a sunset.
knowing that choosing yourself
was the only way to survive.
and i am.

s u r v i v i n g.

i’m not sure
where the next destination is.
i’d imagine indifference.

and i can’t wait..
oh boy, can’t i wait.
to not give a single **** about you.
Jared Bogolea Nov 2016
i know that in this big, bad world
the only person who can save us
from us
is ourselves.

but wouldn't it be nice to have
a knight in shining armor
rescuing you from
drinking that entire bottle of liquid fire

wouldn't it be nice to have
a crusader coming to you
preventing you from
swallowing that towering pile of pills

wouldn't it be nice to have
a warm sunshiney, kiss
telling you everything
will be o k a y
before snorting that last line

in the end
the destruction of ourselves
only comes from

but my, oh my
wouldn't it be nice
to have a hero
other than yourself.
just feeling a little more somber today about stuff. haven't written in so long but i just sat down and this came to me. feels good. i feel better.
Jared Bogolea Jan 2016
i wish i had never met you
i manage to somehow stammer out.
in between the long tokes i take
from liquid nostalgia

but sadly,
even i know that's not true.

but saying
'i still dream about you'
feels as pathetic
as the shattered remnants
of my pride

i've always said
time is a liar --
only sending you
the warm, slow dances
in the middle of a room.

without showing
the heart break
that quickly came after.

but for tonight,
i'll ride out this high  (or low)

and pretend that you loved me
as i loved you.
Jared Bogolea Feb 2015
isn't it funny?
how it's easier to blame yourself,
rather than the person who destroyed you?

it's easier to extinguish
the fire inside of you

than to devalue the person
you love (loved)

I will n e v e r allow
someone to rip apart
my self-worth
when they're the ones
who aren't whole.

and neither should you.
haven't written anything in a while
felt good today
Jared Bogolea Jan 2015
Does our heart ever really
heal from this?
Or do we just learn to manage
the pain?

Personally, I think the latter.

My mom disagrees with me though..
She says  someday, I'll meet a man
and he'll make it all vanish.

And maybe she's right
but it isn't someday and
I don't have that someone.

So here I am lying in
bed asking myself
w h y was it so easy
((or not so easy))

for someone to blatantly
walk out of my life
without any regards of
looking back
just found this
I wrote this about him
Jared Bogolea Jan 2015
we've all been in it.
not knowing what to do
or just what to say.

tiptoeing around the parts of yourself
you're not quite ready to reveal.
scared that one skeleton
peaking from the closet

could scare them away

but you said monsters
never scared you,
that life isn't fun without a little risk.

so I took your words,
and used them.
I showed you those things,
that I said I would never again show.

and you never f a l t e r e d,
never flinched.

you fell in love with me,
fell in love with those parts
that even I was still afraid to love.

knights in shining armor don't exist
and you can't wait for the prince
to rescue you from the dragon.

but when you find that person,
that loves you on days
when you're the dragon,
treasure them.

and I promise you,
I will.
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