I spill out not only ink onto the paper...
but my soul,
my deepest fears,
a few hopes and dreams,
but also some lost things.

If you were a book
I would stay up all night
Feverishly flipping pages
Soaking up every single syllable
To know your ending

If you were a tropical island
I would explore your lush, secret interior
Spending long, lazy afternoons naked
Sun drunk on your shores

If you were a ***** joke
I would throw my cackles to the ceiling
Careful to not burst windows
Making sure to retell you often
Your punch line only gets better

If you were a roller coaster
I would wait in line for half the day
Just to be caressed by your safety harness soaked in other's sweat
Not to mention your talent with G-spots, I mean forces

If you were early morning
I would brew you strong and extra hot
Sipping cautiously at your porcelain edges
Watching blue smoke lazily curl
Then taking deep gulps as you cool
Buzzed on you til the afternoon

If you were mine
I would fill up your long dried and crusted ink wells
Encourage your laughter to come out to play
But above all
I would love you. Madly.

I’m trying to tell you something
but there are no suitable words to explain how I feel

like I need you on top of me

and I need you in the ocean next to me

I need you holding my hand
and listening to me sing along to the radio

I need you drinking tea with me
and playing cards
and crunching leaves under our feet in fall

I need you on a blanket

and at the mall I need you by my side

I need you to snowboard down the ***** of my back

I need you to spank me over your lap
I need to get drunk with you

I need to smoke cigarettes with you

I need to taste wine on your lips
and drink ***** out of your collarbones

I need you like a quick striking match

I’ve spent all my wishes on you

I need to sleep next to you every night of my life
and watch you brush your teeth in the morning
and straighten the collar of your shirt

I need to open the door and find you there

I need to read thick books with you

I need to see you eating cereal for dinner
I need my head on your chest

I need to watch you shower
and shampoo your black hair

I need to love you
I need to LOVE you
I love you

They say home is where the heart is
Well, I don't care where I am

I need to call you home

life is so good
yet I long for
*chaotic extremes

did you
remember how my lips
tasted
the way i memorized your eyes?

There is autumn in fiction
And another leaf has fallen.

In his own spring,
To a perpetual tree of fantasy
And magic realism, birth he had given, forgetting,
His voice will be dumb.

Hence, ages and ages,
The tree will emit fragrance,
And mankind will smell it.

It will be sweet melodies
For the souls in the modern world.

But there is autumn in fiction
And another leaf has fallen.

i visited my parents house yesterday
it had changed so much since i had lived there last
no more room for feelings of nostalgia
it didn't remind me of christmas mornings
or bring to life the photographs of birthday cakes and smiles

at dinner monotonous conversation led me away upstairs
expecting nothing i decided to visit my old room
walking up the narrow stairs i felt your presence with me

two summers ago we lived here, never leaving
we were burnt from the inside out with love and cigarettes
burnt from the outside in by the sun
cascading through the ceiling window
i saw the sun rays fall on your eye lashes;
thought to myself this is why it rises every morning
just to touch something beautiful
i thought of how we never left each other
built my life around you
a life that didn't seem to exist outside my bedroom walls

it made me feel uncomfortable
after a week of forgetting i was remembering again
the cliche of wondering what you were doing
turning to leave i saw it
my ugly younger self's handwriting
where i had written your name on the wall above my bed
memories came back like flashing images in my minds eye
writing your name on the wall one night
you were smiling and laughing
asking if my dad would mind, i said i didn't care
since then my bedroom does not look like my bedroom, our bedroom

your name is still visible over the thick layer of gone-off white paint
as i leave i hope to myself that your name will not be visible
through the layer of hate, regret and disappointment
i've used to paint over your memories inside the walls of my mind