Can we be lovers if we hate one another?
Love and hate, closer than you think
Stemming from passion and passion's all I've needed.

So, slam me on the bed,
Rip these clothes to shreds.
You hate me so good.

Yank my hair
Leave me gasping for air.
You hate me so good.

Can we be lovers if we hate one another?
And the answer is yes,
It's always ever been, yes.

Fulfilling my father’s dreams,
I forgot to dream.

Wanting to be the first in everything,
I forgot to enjoy.

Building a house,
I forgot to make a home.

Reading about love,
I forgot how to love.

Meeting new people,
I forgot to make friends.

Wanting too much,
I forgot to offer.

Running to beat time,
I forgot to stay.

Waiting for her,
I forgot to live.

You have my bones in a choke hold
Even they’re brittle enough
I’m grasping at your ribs
Though I’m not sure if they’re bone or dust
The dust has turned into a sand in an abandoned desert
I am lost
I am so involved in your dissolved bones
I have buried myself deep
Yet this is not a place
But yet a small unhindered body that I can no longer find myself in

I am the girl who has said too much,
one too many drinks,
              way too many words.
it's not my foot in my mouth
just too many words.

I am the girl who shares far too much,
much more than what is necessary.
               you can know my whole life
in just one simple night.

But you do not know what is inside of me.

The soul of an artist:
tormented with yearning
                for something different
the novelty has now been extinguished-

I am bored.

I constantly feel this way-
ready to throw away the clothes of the past
and skinny dip my way to the future.

I am sorry,
      It's not you
      It's Me
too cliche I know

but it is me,
I don't think I have ever been satisfied
and maybe never will-

but that's the thing
I yearn so deeply for-

Contentment for the mundane.

I'm sorry that I hurt you
I'm sorry that I hurt too
I'm sorry for the pain I caused
And my lies
And my truth.
I'm sorry that I couldn't marry you
The ring was just too beautiful.
I'm sorry for five years
That you feel I wasted.
I'm sorry I couldn't keep our dog
I sorry I couldn't even tell you that
Her name deserved no place in our emails.
I'm sorry I couldn't give her a home
The truth is,
I left that with you.
I don't have one anymore.
I'm sorry that I lied
And cheated
And stole.
I'm sorry that you don't even think you know who I am.
I'm sorry that we said goodbye
In the least good way possible.
I miss our house and our mornings
And my walks to the river with Heidi.
I miss when the three of us were happy.
Like when she'd lay upside down on the floor when she'd fall asleep
Or the ways she'd shake out her ears every time she'd awake.
I miss the old house
The one with the lake view
And while we are on the subject
I miss our old bulldog too.
I miss the beginning when it wasn't easy
But it wasn't ever tough.
I miss the days that I spent dreaming,
That maybe you were it.
I'm sorry I met someone new,
I'm sorry that I think he actually understands me.
I'm sorry it had to happen this way.
I miss our home
I miss our garden
I miss our coffee in the morning,
I miss you.
But truthfully,
I think I miss our dog the most of all.