One day I want to write sweet love letters again.
One day I want to find those words again.
One day I want to feel them again.
One day I want to not fear them again.
The world, the want, the person, the feelings.
I love you and I hate you.
But your memories are sad as suffocating as the most coziest blanket I’ve ever known.

You will always wrap/write my heart with our  past.

thank you moonlight
      for this perfect gift-  
         this spirit inside of me
            
                        unbounded
so much love
           in so much light
               illuminate my darkness!
you and I have become one
           waxing and waning
               the same cycle
your light
           your love
                translucent
       -teach me your ways
              almighty soul
for I have become
           you.
and I am only
      what you know of to be me.

Dear one drink too many,
It seems that you want to hurt me.
Like it's your art, your passion-
You are good at poking me-
it's breaking me.
(I know you hurt)
It's our foundation breaking down.
These foundations I thought were strong, strong enough for the **** thrown at them.
But that foundation breaks down everytime
Brick by brick, I'm afraid it's weak now.
what did we build this on, actually?

I know that you know pain,
Far beyond what I can comprehend.
(Please don't push me away)

I know pain in a different way,
One of constant neglect
and of being a non necessity .

Please don't make me feel unnecessary

I know you don't NEED me,
But I don't want to feel un-needed-
                            -anymore.

I am not happy
I don't think
That I have ever been.

There are moments.
Weeks even,
Where I think that I am.
                 Content.

And then it hits me again.
It's not your fault
Nor anyone before you.

The problem is me,
My own self.

I've lost so much
That I have loved-
Most of it.
My own doing.

I let things (people) go,
I'm sorry I let it go so easily.

I never am going to win.
Especially when,
I'm playing against myself.

Why does every
Journal entry
Of mine
Begain
with a question?

And if I'm only
Asking myself
Why can't I find
The answers?

I don't need or want a tough guy. Please just be yourself, as you are, with your big heart. I love you perfectly imperfect the way we both are, be mine. I don't care about the rest. I am yours.