It is the time of celebration
where i mope and once aspired death
In a single month and the ones that follow
i collect the sadness of all
The single bachelor collects his status
the mother of three takes her children to the beach
And the lovebirds embrace the night
while i choke on the solace of an indoor sorrow
It's been a while since I felt it
that pit of misery wrapped in a neat saying

one day, it will go like this
i leave the cold
of the bedroom
you'll never know me
i'm a crumb left behind
for a snail to nibble
the world flies by
in my unfortunat--

My shadow once grew cold
As cold as a dark winter night
I begged it not to smother me
But it knew better, oh right

Does that belt feel snug
Is your teeth clenched shut
Will this be my last goodbye
Will our love drown in the mud

This isn't me begging
This is me looking for an answer
Looking for a better lover
Looking for one another

I miss the warm sheets
On those long cold nights
Your sparkling whites
The mornings in bed
With no daylight
I want to go back
To our glory days
When love only mattered
And time always stayed.

Held your neck
I felt the shivers up mine
Lock in an embrace
I resurrect my fire
Look up at the stars
I stare down at it all.

I never understood your pain
You'd lift me into your deep sea
Emotions in a dark blue tomb
I couldn't find the light.

I may be your captive
But I'm not a toy
I'm not a rubber ball
That will bounce back
To your love
When you need it