I sit alone this half-fogged, half-starry night on the beach
Watch the water seep over the rocks and sand and life
Your face seems to haunt the water between ripples
I draw my heart out to your ghost in the damp sand
Not in symbols or letters, but in words shaped silently
Tears salted like saltwater was my offering to God that night
And I know I chased you off for good but darling
I'll always send my love after you long after goodbye
Darling I'm used to being in love on the outside
I hope to be forgotten by you, pray to be remembered by you, and hope to see you again.

I spend this evening counting bumps in my popcorn ceiling

1,2,3,4,5,6,7

Heart is gnawing at my mind

8,9,10,11,12

Old washed out feelings

13,14,15,16

No words just

17,18,19

Memories

.......

when did i start crying?

Heavy
Is what I carry
In my pockets
In my heart
Weighted like sand
Filling my throat
The fear under my eyelids
Cracks of light that creep in
Thoughts under my skin
Dying just to be let out
But I stay only silent
Let the fog rapture me
The pain can sink in
Past my skin
to the bone
to new days
from the same me

My guard dropped like an anvil from the sky
I never knew I was up so high
So alone
Freezing from the inside
Hiding lies in lust when love would've done fine

I'm letting go of the person I knew
Of you
Of myself
The hurt never lead to freedom
But the key
Was always there

I miss you like the desert sands miss the lapping waves of the sea
That childlike sparkle in your eyes as you laughed with me
Our lives were a destiny not meant to be
But it was the only future I cared to see

I spend my days, hours, minutes, and seconds as if it didn't matter
But in the moments between time and space I am with you
Could it be called love if I didn't know what I was doing?
I made my confession to walls when it should have been to you...

Clarity always seems to cloud the mind, one way or another
Because the clarity that speaks only speaks of pain;
It hurts to say that it hurt to stay; It hurt to leave and it hurt to hate
Hating her hurt far more than any rejection of hers

Words cannot find the feelings I want to describe
After all, these are just love notes left behind...

Oh I am calloused and bruised
I am weathered and used
I don't blend anymore
I just float on the surface

The light that left me
Has me feeling thin
Inside
Oh the love that left me
Has me feeling dead
Inside

And the love that stayed
Cannot carry me on
I am a wayward son
I am the only lonely one

Is there an end or a beginning
I can no longer tell
These thoughts aren't my own
But they're nobody else's

Oh everyone's a stranger
When you don't know yourself
Everyone's a stranger
I don't know myself