IvyB Xx: Favorites

Apr 2015 IvyB Xx

Cat Fiske

You seem to hurt my heart,
Repetitively,
and the doctors say:
                                       "They can’t bandage a word broken heart,"
   "When the bandage won’t  be able to fix me,"
This is when my body mutates,
Making it hard to breath ,
                                  Or really do anything,
This is when,
            My ribs,
                 wrap around my heart,
trying to protect it from you,
                               and while my lungs were unprotected,
and I was at a lack of breath,
                                you seemed to take that,
with any happiness you could find,
And I sat there,
        Shaking,
Then,
                                                        Crying because it’s not even first period

what it feels like to have one, mine are because of my PTSD triggers

#depression #heart #anxiety #ribs #breathe #body #ptsd #trigger #panic-attack #mutate

Apr 2015 IvyB Xx

Fucking Bastards

Apr 2015 IvyB Xx

Nolia Joy

******* *******

They locked him up
in a ******* cage
a boy
lost
a boy
who is stealing my new gameboy
on Christmas morn
a boy
who is making mini pies by my side
for a sweet thanksgiving suprise
a boy who looked
so *******
(heartbreakingly)
lost
that day his mother died
the boy who took a path
that so easily could have been mine
a boy who battled demons
that call to him at night
a boy with no inhibitions
to guide to the light
a boy we all believed in
whose aunt prayed for him at night

They locked him up
in a cage
because lady justice
had to have her way
but she doesn’t know what she’s done
he may be twenty
but he’s a boy
get him out of that box
he is sick
he doesn’t need your
degrading looks
your monstrous words
that boy
needs love
he needs stability
he needs help
compassion

I need him out of that cage
I need
that boy
to not be sick
and in
that ******* cage
I need to hold him
I need to wrestle with him
play gameboy with him
I need him to be that boy

He can be that boy
but you just won’t let him

I love him
so
get him
out
of that ******* cage

Apr 2015 IvyB Xx

Remember when we used to lie in the sun?

Apr 2015 IvyB Xx

Nolia Joy

Remember when we used to lie in the sun?

We'd skip class

To bask in the glory of nature

(And I guess to avoid class)

For hours we would lie out

You and I

Sometimes the occasional passerby

There would be words

Sometimes

School

Television

Books

Our Crazy Families

Things that never really mattered

Not then

The best times though

When everything was silent

Save for Mother Nature

and her symphony

Her limbs swaying in the breeze

The rustle of humans against her hair

The way her breath whispered to us

Quietly and all too harmoniously

Her children buzzing and chirping

All around

Her hum

As it came from her lips

Warm

Comforting

A lullaby

Her eyes as they stared down at us

Keeping us safe

Keeping us sane

Keeping us warm

Only there

With you

Did I ever feel

Quite so safe

Lying there

in the sun

Apr 2015 IvyB Xx

Maybe I Will Hug Her

Apr 2015 IvyB Xx

Matt

Maybe I Will Hug Her

I'm glad I never touched her
Never hugged her

She is leaving soon
Better not to grow too attached to people
They come and they go

Better just to be alone

It's okay
I'll always love her as my friend
Maybe I will ask for a hug
The last time I see her

#friends #hug #closeness

Apr 2015 IvyB Xx

Queen Angel

Apr 2015 IvyB Xx

Jonny Angel

Queen Angel

O Sweetness,
harken Dear Angel...
have a seat,
lower yourself
onto your throne,
your sacred place
above me.
O how nice
your Royal Highness!
Let me view
your full majesty,
let me glisten
with your royalty,
come inside
your splendor.
O my delicious Queen,
you are supreme!

Apr 2015 IvyB Xx

Skin Shedding

Apr 2015 IvyB Xx

SSColby

Skin Shedding

When I stand next to them,
I feel like an outsider.
When I'm without them,
I feel lost amongst silence.

In what way can I save myself
from inner torment,
and stormy self-pity?

Every social task is a chore
and when there is none to be taken
I find myself bored.

Strip me of my name and social security number,
and stick me in a room where I no longer exist.
I'm shedding my skin,
taking leave from society.

I'm on the outside looking in
forever-more.

#poetry #sad #loneliness #bored #self-esteem #individuality

Apr 2015 IvyB Xx

Beauty

Apr 2015 IvyB Xx

MD

Beauty

i. i've grown up to believe that beauty comes in one size; skinny.

ii. everything i've ever been taught about being beautiful comes from girls in magazines, wearing skin tight, size 0 jeans.

iii. according to these standards, i was beautiful at one point in my life.

iv. i gained a lot of weight during my recovery from anorexia. according to these standards, i am no longer pretty.

v. when the world looks down on those over 100 pounds, i feel defeated, like all my time and money spent on makeup and hair products and designer clothes means nothing.

vi. but there are days i still look in the mirror, and i see beauty in the reflection. i see hope in my once tired eyes, i see a reality to my smile.

vii. there are days i still look in the mirror and remember what i learned in that hospital in wisconsin. i remember my heart issues, i remember crying at the dinner table.

viii. i remember being dizzy, i remember being ill. i remember that being pretty is not restricted to a shape or size. i remember the day i chose to live without fear of the world.

ix. so now i'm walking down the street in my crop top, my belly flopped over the top of my shorts, i am standing tall. i am beautiful.

Apr 2015 IvyB Xx

The Tail Of A Comet

Apr 2015 IvyB Xx

Jonny Angel

The Tail Of A Comet

I hung
onto
the tail of a comet
once.
Rode it throughout
the entire galaxy.
What a ride.
Hot,
long & ice.

Apr 2015 IvyB Xx

Can Love Lie

Apr 2015 IvyB Xx

Jonny Angel