But why did you leave?
It's cold without your presence,
I'll wait for you here.

coming up
we are
with names
for time
machines

I find myself pacing
Or staring at nothing,
While i can't slow my thinking
Or find a pattern in my breathing.

I'm no less lost
Than I was last month,
And no less terrified
Than when I broke
All the promises
I had made to myself.

My tiny room
Can't hold me
For too long.
My expansive thoughts
Bounce off the walls
And back into me
Until I decide to
Find some place open to think.

And I walk all alone
I lay in dark open fields
Or on benches by water,
Hoping my thoughts will get lost
In the landscape
And forget to return to my head.

My eyes fill with anxiety
As I forget to breathe.
I make sure no one
Can see me
Than I let the anxiety
flooding my eyes roll down my cheeks.

The cold breeze
Reminds me to breathe
And I'm back in the grass
Hoping you're thinking about me.

overcome with weakness and nausea,
I limp to my bed.
I rest my tired eyes,
and pray to god I wake up dead.
and light doesn't shine on any of my days
as I make my way through this foggy haze,
I try to look on the bright side of life
but all has been shadowed by clouds.
I didn't choose this life,
nobody did.
we were not told how hard it would get,
though I was just a kid.
I asked my mom why granny died,
why she gave up when pappy was gone.
and my mom gave me a very tight hug
and said that she just could not go on.
that's when I learned we could control our death
and god knows I tried a few times.
I was so tired of regret
I was so tired of goodbyes.
but here I am, to this day,
dragging my feet through life
but trust me, friend, this is better
than picking up that knife.

I know those as soft as cotton,
Always lessening the blow,
Each layer adds protection,
Pain can only sink so low.

I know those who are like sponges,
They're always bouncing back,
Endlessly resilient,
Attack after attack.

I know those as strong as steel,
They don't bend, don't break, don't move,
They act as their on armor,
You will never see them lose.

And I know those who are like glass,
Deeply scratched but shining bright,
Never giving up, putting up a fight,
In pain but reflecting light.

We lessen the blow
And we bounce back,
We are our own armor.
We shine through our scratches
Protect ourselves,
We're our own safe harbor.

please take me to a safe place
where everything is bright and shining
where it's never raining and dreary
where the water is pure and food is a delicacy
i want a safe place
where i'm never afraid of being myself
where i don't feel guilty for being happy
where i won't be forced to be unhappy
take me to a safe place
where my family isn't falling apart
where no one is a disappointed in me
where i'm not afraid of my best friend
just take me to a safe place
please.