Ironatmosphere

Ironatmosphere Apr 2016

The Note

I’ve always thought of this as a selfish act
One I would never commit
You gave me life, the greatest of gifts
I apologize for throwing it away
You should know that I cherish the moments I was truly alive
You were the ones who made it good
But living is far too painful
And I long for a quiet
An escape from the mayhem in my head
I feel more than I can handle
And I have more love to give than I get to give away

You should know
You have my permission to move on
But please don’t forget
I want you to be happy
More happy than I ever could
And know that I love you always

I want you to find peace
just as I am about to

This is what I would leave if I was commiting suicide. I am not. I am writing this for therapeutic reasons only.

#suicide #note #therapy

Ironatmosphere Mar 2016

Time

I hate time
I hate that it moves fast and that it moves slow
I hate that it always keeps moving
And that there is never enough
I hate that it is unstoppable
And that we can never go back

#hate #time #uncontrollable

Ironatmosphere Mar 2016

Pills

The pills have gotten easier to swallow
And my anxiety has gotten quieter
But the sadness is still there
Amplified
And I try not to cry in public
But there is always that one tear that escapes
A runaway
And I wish I could follow its lead
And escape this world
Escape the shackles of time
For what is the reason of existing?
If existing is all you do?

#sad #pills #depression #anxiety

Ironatmosphere Jan 2016

Love

They danced to the music
And there was no question about it
They were electricity
Sparks in the sky
Lightning
They were fire
Crackling beautifully
Warming fingers in a tiny cabin
Raging in a forest
They were rain
Calm and pure
Smattering on the windows
They were the essence of life
They were happiness
They were love

#happy #beautiful #dearsister #happyforyou

Ironatmosphere Jan 2016

Smile

Her cheeks are red
Her smile is small and shy
As they touch it spreads across her face
Happiness is shining through her eyes
And I can’t help but smile too

I am so happy for you

#happy #smile #blush #dearsister

Ironatmosphere Jan 2016

Dreams

I know I might never have you
That you might never be mine
But in my head we have adventures
We travel the world
And we lie singing in your bed
Staring up at the ceiling
Where we have painted stars
To remember that time we slept outside
Or was that just in my head?

I know I might never have you
But that doesn’t stop me from dreaming
Or quietly whispering your name
When no one is around to hear
It doesn’t stop these cravings I have for you
It doesn’t stop my fingers from itching
Or stop me from wanting to run my fingers through your hair
It doesn’t stop my curiosity of what you smell like
But really, I would be happy just breathing the same air

I know I might never have you
That you might never be mine
But that doesn’t stop me from dreaming about you all the time

#love #dream #never #crave

Ironatmosphere Nov 2015

Ephemeral

If I could
I would catch happiness
And save it in a jar

#happiness #ephemeral