cotton candy clouds
adorn the purple blue sky
as i wonder what lays ahead

but for now
life is so sweet.

The air so warm and soft
almost whispering to me
about the good that lays beyond

but for now
life is so sweet.

as i reach up to the sky
almost able to touch those sweet
cotton candy clouds.

so sweet.

does she know
the way we danced?

those sparkling eyes
emerging from new love

how could she know?

tell me does she know
the late night telephone

endless
conversation
infinite
discussion

that golden light
emerging from new love

how could she know?

tell me will you tell her
how you loved
how you didn't
and everything in between?

tell me will you tell her
the demons you shared
the ones you caused
and the tears of all the broken souls around you?

how could she possibly know?

i didn't.

the only one
that i can understand

is myself.

the only one
that i can trust

is myself.

yet why do i not know what i am feeling
and why do i lie to myself in my mind...

to you i must have been no one
probably because everyone wants to be
deep down popular
rejecting people's friendships and hearts
like you did me.

i understand
that i was just a tool
used to orchestrate a master plan.

and that deep down,
you just wanted to feel human too.

i tell myself that if i
turn around
i won't see you again

but then i turn twice.

even if i change twenty eight times
i will see you again.

never quite one
never both
belonging to neither
pushed to either side

it's a constant crisis.
like the petals of an iris
slowly blowing away from finding my
identity.

two worlds
unlike each other in every way
where each party says i am too like the other
something all immigrants and children of those
can understand.

the sweet smell of homecooked meals
permeating the neighborhood
full of those who could never appreciate.

the laughter of my friends
ringing in the air
of a home they could never quite understand.

the thoughts
invading my head
of a culture i tried to reject.

who am i?
two worlds
never quite one
never both
always pushed to either side.

no matter how much
water i pour over my cracking hands

i can't wash away the feelings
of when you were here.

can't wash away all the memories we ever shared.
no matter how much i want to.

the scent of your skin
burns through my nose no matter how hard i try to
extinguish it.

the sound of your laughter
rings through my head despite
the crowd around me.

the view of you from behind
forever punctures my heart
even though i've long ago taken out the dagger.

i stand at the mirror
and try
to forget it all.

wash
wash away,
please.

it's the dark in the night that consumes you.

I stand in the crossroad,
Like a million before me
Unsure

Of what to do
To sit?
To stay?
To move away?

It’s alright I guess
If we sit a while
And just rest.

But at some point
We must stand
And not dream off to
Some imaginary land.

Right?
Or left?
Right?
Or wrong?

Where this all goes from here
We must all stay strong.

It’s you
It’s always been you
In the ever changing universe

You’re the only constant thing
Like nature gave you a purpose on this earth...

you are a thing that rolls with the seas
slowly undulating through the white sea foam on the stormy tide
wondering when you too can sparkle
like the clarity you see reflected in the horizon at sunset-

but the foam while unclear
contains thousands of little bubbles-

tiny pockets of air that help me breathe.