Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
 Apr 2018 aslan
Emma Whittle
High
 Apr 2018 aslan
Emma Whittle
How much will it take
for you to become happy?
How much will it take for you
to become high?
When will you find the person
to give you that high?
Where will he be?
How much will it cost you?
How long will you sleep?
How many dreams will you have?
How much will you pay?
Because after all, he doesn't sell drugs.

He sells dreams
 Apr 2018 aslan
Emma Whittle
A suicidal girl falls in love,
She knows she is loved.  She does not find that blood lust from her scarred
wrists.  She feels a pulling in her gut, A feeling called happiness.
She believes she loves him, she believes he loves her. She has stopped
slitting her wrists, She is happy, She has a reason to live.
She has a reason to fight. To stay alive.
But what happens when that person

Leaves?
 Apr 2018 aslan
Emma Whittle
He told me to stop.
To stop smoking cigarettes.  
He said if I did not, he would leave.
I'm trying!
It takes me a few days, but I did it. I broke my addiction.
I walked to your house to tell you.
I see you with another girl, her lips pressed to yours.
I walked home, the only thing pressed to my lips,
was
a
c i g a r e t t e
 Apr 2018 aslan
Emma Whittle
She grabbed her faux leather messenger bag,
threw in 3 old band t-shirts, 3 pairs of underwear,
2 bras and a couple pairs of ripped skinny jeans, her Polaroid camera to take photographs of where she goes, a book, a journal to document her thoughts, a sketch pad, a package of Marlboro Red 100's, a lighter,  her iPod and some toiletries.  She didn't say anything, she just out and left. No note, no warning, nothing but her mess of a room.  She smiled at her room, her dream catcher, her poster-strewn walls, all of it.
And she slipped out of her window.  'Goodbye,' She thought to herself and started walking.  But what she didn't know was she had
just left her life and started a brand new one.  She was walking to the edge of oblivion.  She was shooting herself straight off a cliff,
off of the safety under her roof, the safety of her bed, the safety of everything she left behind.  All she had was that bag.  17 items. That was her life. 17 items to keep her safe, 17 items to live on for the rest of her time.  For the 3 years until she was 18.  Until she could show her face in public again until she could be seen.  But until then, she was alone.  She sparked her lighter and lit up a cigarette.  All alone with her bag and a package of cigarettes. She sat down on the curb by the bus stop and began to draw.  And that was that.  She was lost in her mind. Her mind had run farther than she had. Because after all,
we're
               all
                              mad
                           ­                       here..
Have you ever just wanted to run away? No note, no warning of leave, just pack your things and leave your world to create your own. To taste the edge of oblivion.
 Apr 2018 aslan
Emma Whittle
There was a party.  She walked in and looked around.
She saw seas of people, bottles and bottles of *****, people holding one of their nostrils closed and sniffing fine white powder from a coffee table,
smoke everywhere, cigarettes dangling from peoples' mouths, people in a circle passing a joint of marijuana between fingers, girls sitting
on boys' laps, girls on girls', mouths on mouths, hands touching everywhere.
She decided that the party was not for her, after all, she was depressed.  
She walked home,
smelling of
cigarettes
and
sadness.
#cigarettes #sadness #party #girls #boys #***** #******* #marijuana #**** #*** #people #home #walking #kissing #goodbye
 Apr 2018 aslan
Emma Whittle
"I care" they say, "I won't ever leave you. I love you.”  
But when you need them most, when you’re alone, an empty pill bottle in one hand, a ****** razor blade in the other, slumped in the corner of your bathroom,
When you’re taking your final breaths, when you know you’re dying, when you have
That final smile on your face, when you know you’re going to die, that happiness flooding your body.
When you cut your wrist, that warm nice feeling, they’re in bed with your best friend.
The last thing on their mind is you. The last thing on their mind is your breath fading.  

Your life ending behind closed doors.
 Apr 2018 aslan
Emma Whittle
Forever
 Apr 2018 aslan
Emma Whittle
My life would have been cut short if it wasn’t for that hasty intervention by fate.

I ran home from school.  No one was home, I opened the garage door knowing the code. ‘1023’ I thought to myself.  I ran inside and locked all of the doors, I closed the curtains and kept the lights off in case someone looked inside.  The medicine was locked up in a cabinet in my parent’s room, she forgot to lock the cabinet. I smiled to myself. “I can do this” I thought to myself.  I grabbed two bottles of pills and jogged to my bathroom in the main hall.  I opened the bottles with shaking hands and popped handfuls and handfuls of pills into my mouth, swallowing them with water in a lid from a cup we had lost forever ago.  I fell asleep slumped against the bathtub, a smile on my face as I drifted into an eternal sleep. Or so I thought.

I woke up in a hospital, tears running down my face knowing that I failed.  I was so tired, so tired. I fell asleep and woke up in an ambulance, I was being transferred to a different hospital.  I then realized how sad people would be if I had succeeded.  I didn’t care and I still don’t.  I know I will try again, I just don’t know how soon.  I will succeed.  
Goodbye.
Forever.
True story, happened on May 16, 2017
 Apr 2018 aslan
eileen
I've thought a thousand ways to die
without ever finding a successful life

Catching blue stars
flying in the night
leaving a trail of celestial dust

My reflection has become a shadow

I feel shallow

The water isn't too deep
It's blue far away
but faded green close enough

lights follow me everywhere
the moon staring at me in the afternoon

In the middle of it all

Trying to love it

I say I'm not afraid of dying

My heart aches
every time I lie to myself
 Apr 2018 aslan
levi eden r
and they told me they understood,
but they don't.
they don't know but i can see the growing fear and concern in their eyes when i said
"mama i wanna die."
and if my last breath were today please know that no matter how much i planned for this day,
my death wasn't planned.
cause it comes and goes you see.
there's something,
someone,
hanging the want for life in front of my eyes and there are times where i desperately try to grasp it,
but dad i just can't anymore.
it's not your fault.

i couldn't feel your love even if you told me you loved me a million times.
i couldn't feel the euphoria i was supposed to feel when smiling or laughing anymore.
i'm sorry to keep breaking your heart but my mind was still made up even when recalling "the best day ever" to try to convince myself that this life is worth living.

cause it's not,
for me.
i knew since the day i was born that this was a mistake.
god, made a mistake.
i'm not supposed to be here,
at all.

so send me off peacefully.
clean out my room and move far far away and call it
"starting over".
i know it'll be impossible to forget your son,
your friend,
your brother,
but please,
try.
intstagram // @introawake
 Apr 2018 aslan
Sunny
Identity
 Apr 2018 aslan
Sunny
You’ve spent some time drifting.
Like you’ve been trapped in an endless void for so long.
You may have felt some kind of sensation.
Like you weren’t who you’re supposed to be.

What did you feel in that moment?
Confusion? Or maybe it was something else.
Well, whatever it was, it doesn’t matter now.
Because I’m here by your side.

It doesn’t matter what you want to be.
I don’t care how many people say otherwise.
If someone says anything mean about you…
I’ll be there to help you up.

It’s okay if you feel lost.
I feel that way too sometimes.
But in the end, I’m really happy
That you’re beginning to find your identity.
Next page