Perhaps I really know myself too well
When the pain kicks in each night
And it's too much to bear
I run back to spill my messy thoughts

In words
In deep sighs
In prayers

Hoping I'll wake up one day
Not feeling the ache of yesterday


Tonight I shall tell a tale
Of a young lady who was loved
And who fell in love
But decided to end it all


She was once bewildered of tomorrow
Scared of what the future may have to offer
Until one day
Her barricaded heart was slightly opened
By a man whom she considered as her "present"


He was madly in love with her
And she couldn't be bothered by the evening breeze
For his words kept her warm

She loved him dearly as well

But the string that binds them turned into a rope
A rope made of complicated knots
That each misunderstanding caused pain to the other


Now these ropes turned into cold chains
She can no longer see what he wanted her to see
And he could no longer hear what she wanted him to hear


For this very purpose
Everything fell apart
He said to her to leave him alone
And she finally left


When you're madly in love you see,
You lose sense of everything around you
The moment he begged her to come back
Tears fell like the rain in June
She knew she still loves him
Up to this day
But things weren't right anymore
The shackles were too much for her to handle

Moments that were taken for granted
She missed those times
When she was devoted to him

But for now,
She decided to love herself

Studying
Cramming
Amidst the scattered papers,
     Softly crying

Mood suddenly changing
Remembering
Pausing for a moment

Pencils  dropping
Slowly
   B r e a t h i n g

Sentiments immediately hitting
Of the days where life used to be simple
Gentle
On how you danced the earth upon your young feet
Not giving a care about tomorrow

The rain falling
Cicadas singing
Oh how you've long for that feeling
Of that fuzzy sensation
Gust of wind, hugging
Yet inside is a tiny heart, bravely beating
It was heartwarming

Hopes and dreams suddenly rushing
Of how you've always wanted to walk along the stars
And conquer the roaring seas


On how you've always wondered
What will you be
Years from now

You stood up, quietly gazing
On a sight which seemed to be out of reach
The mirror was calling
The reflection was changing

A youthful being stared back at you
Grinning
Smiling
Eyes sparkling
Undoubtedly admiring
Yet worrying
Of what you've become


As you close your eyes, realizing
    Looking for the fire left inside you
     Still scorching

Reassuring
   Of that person you've been years ago
  That you will continue to fight
And be proud of what you'll ever be

It was past 11
The clock ticks in the night
A rather sad movie plays on the background

Yet for some reason
My eyes were on something else

I had the chance to hear your voice
"I'm too lazy to type. Call me."
You were hesitant
I was anxious

For a moment the distance didn't matter
Our voices softly echoing in our ears
Even just for a second
We let our worlds play by our own little rules

Quivering
The mood was still unsettling
Yet I gave you the assurance
The assurance which I wasn't sure of as well

Things took a turn
Uncertainty turned into bravery
As you've learned that I was in for the same

Same feeling you've wanted
Short-lived
Ephemeral as it may seemed

We were two sides of a coin, you see
My views were far-fetched
Yours stopped halfway

Of what you've yearned which was deemed temporary
Temporary company
Temporary feelings
Temporary memories

I replied
"Why not give it a go?"

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Yes. That sounds like fun"
Fun
Joy
A moment of spark
Which was bound to die sooner or later

I've always been into commitments
There's always something
About the fidelity
The blinding devotion
Of the faith and trust
That'll mark my ashes forever

Yet here you are
A guarantee in your chuckle
That you'll end up living all alone
One day
Some day
So you just wanted to have a good time
Enjoy while it lasts

We were two sides of a coin, right?
But I saw a path halfway
A path leading to you
It was a garden
Full of roses trying to hide their thorns
This is perhaps
Where we shall meet
As we're about to leave each other's arms before we knew it

You've always yearned of what's deemed temporary, you see

So even just for a moment
a second if you may allow


Even if those feelings weren't genuine enough


Let us fill the air with the scent of love
that would probably stay on your shirt
And will make you smile as you try to look back one day

This was a foolish idea
We both know
As we nervously laugh at how we agreed upon this game
Silently looking for an excuse to run away as the night deeply sighs

I was unsure about everything else
But darling


I wouldn't agree if my feelings weren't true
For I've loved you
Good night

"i love you"
"i miss you"
"you're mine"
"I'll never leave you"
"We'll stay strong"
"How are you? "
"I miss you so bad"
"A future with you is my ideal future"
"Anything wrong? "
"I'm always here"
"I'll be by your side"
"You're my most favorite person"
"Having you for more years to come"
"I love you so much"
"I miss you so much"
"Please take care"
"I'll wait for you"
"I love you"

"I'm sorry"
"I don't know what to say"
"I'm not in the mood"
"Talk to you later"
"Wait"
"I'll be honest"
"We'll never work out"
"I want to go back"
"I can't have you"
"Leave me alone"
"Let's break up"

Down
  down


     off
we
go


we're about to
                 miss

the
great
BIG
      S H O W

But
oh

    let not
  a single
W O R D

spill
o   u    t

     for against
ignorance in numbers

is what this show's
all
    about


   listen
closely
  
   lend them your ear

feed them
with
          attention

but don't keep them
n e a r


just smile

let's enjoy this
S H O W


and down to the next
  generation

off
    we

               go

This is a prayer
for the Children of Aleppo
Whose tragedy was concealed before the eyes of the giants
Whose tears never had a chance to fall down to the ground
My Lord, my Almighty One
Keep these children
Welcome them back to Your arms
Let them feel loved again
Help them subside the pain they felt
Fill their newly-furnished rooms
With songs and laughter
Let them forget the scent of gunpowder and bombs
Teach them how to smile once more
Bring back the glimmer in their eyes
And as for those who still breathe to survive
Conceal them with Your love and immense protection
Let them know that beneath the ends of the earth
There would always be a sunrise
A new day
Where they could draw their stories
And dance their dreams
With those eyes
staring into blank distance
Bewildered,
Unaware of what will happen next
Let them hear my voice
A small voice of cheering them up
For this is all I could do for now
How foolish am I
Lavishly sitting on a comfortable bed
Under a secured roof
Writing a poem for those who gained my sympathy
But You know
There's more to that
Let them reach this
I want to tell them
How much they could change this world
Hang on tight
Believe me

Each and everyone of you
are tougher than any fighter this history could ever tell.

Hey, have you heard of a town
A small town that resides at the last boundaries of the earth
A town where all rumors speak of truth
A town who have made the last birth

I once knew a town where people look different
Various races, diverse bloodlines running through the land
But when that time comes, when the clock ticks at 7 in the evening
Ah, yes! Look into their faces, they are just one of a kind, standing hand in hand

They said that town crumbles slowly day by day
That the edge of the earth seem to swallow them down deep into the abyss
What lies out there has been vogue yet familiar
And when someone falls down, the town will be filled of words, songs to reminisce

You will never know you're in that town once you're in there
I've heard that once you step in, you shall resemble a lost child
Who has walked for ages just to find his way home
Until he finally settles in, the nostalgic scent, so tender and mild

How was it possible? Memories that have been altered?
Or don't you think, the way you're in, is nothing but a shadow covering the truth?
That once you decided to look for the town at the edge of the earth
You'll finally feel like a large tree reversing its life after finding its deepest root

Nevertheless, all these sayings, one thing bothers me
That in that town, the moon was so enormous that it dominates the skies at night
And every time, little by little, it seems to be moving closer to the town
Hiding beneath is a smile as it illuminates the whole place in sheer delight

I remember the first time i've heard
Of Fireflies over the radio
Under the night where there were no stars to see
I knelt down and stared for minutes
Minutes full of dreamy thoughts
Until I've listened to Vanilla Twilight
On how melodrama strangled me
I've began creating a playlist
Of all his songs running in my head
On how Gold made me feel special
And Alligator Sky gave a spark in my eyes
Wolf Bite touched my lips with its peculiar fingertips
Shooting Star never meant to say goodbye
He reminded me that Dreams will never turn to Dust
Glimmered my sight with the fairy dust of Beautiful Times
Rainbow Veins carried me all over the clouds
That being Up all Night can never be this heart-wrecking
He revealed the true colors of Dimentia
Painted a smile and hinted that Angels were everywhere
And told me that it's always a Good Time
That He'll look forward to See me Again

His songs made me build a ladder
With all the books and all my dreams
With all my hopes and all my memories
To overcome a wall called Reality
And see a whole new world on the other side.

You will never understand how a droplet of attention you've given weighs so much on that moment when I was nothing but a parched desert

Today I dedicate this to you
As I wander under the night full of stars
Feeling the cool water on my feet
Letting my tears join the vast seas
Songs lingering among seashells
I found my only spot
In the middle of this isolating world
I knelt down, feeling the earth upon my knees
My fingers slowly writing, pleading
On this damped shore
Teeth gritting, fighting the cold
Or maybe, the pain, as each letter is written
Within those words, a verse of a million thoughts
Of the memories we shared together
Of the once sought forever we often dream at night
And a bitter goodbye
For I wasn't good enough
We weren't in love enough
As the message vanishes with the waves
So does everything
Everything about us
Or so I hope

I was in my room that day
when the sun decided to hide
and the darkness started to crawl
letting my monsters scream from the inside

I felt Despair's hands all over me
and Vanity's at the corner, offering me a drink
Loneliness started to sing his favorite lullaby
and Pain suddenly got his paper and ink

Chaos was calling from the window
Depression just got in and said hello
Jealousy shouted that he wants to play
until I heard someone saying, "what does it feel like from there below?"

Regret was smiling softly
as he stood behind the door
all other emotions stopped and began to look at me
and Regret spoke, "Talk. I want to hear more."

Depression was still clinging
Loneliness was still singing
Regret is now in front of me, grinning
And I just found myself crying

Idle moments, sweet talks

Having the best times of my life
Across the far numerous possibilities
Velvety colors
Everything was a beauty

Morning smiles
Egos whispering
Telling what the most important

Thing they could
Have
Ever imagined

Marble-like eyes
Onward towards you
Sighs between regrets
Tales won’t seem to work like they used to be

I’ve always been wondering about
Mystical creatures
Pondering inside my chest
Orbiting like constellations
Running like a pack of wolves
Touching this beating heart
And making my head spin round and round
Notions go shuffle like cards
These were all because of a

Person who happened to have passed by
Earning almost everything kept
Roaring out the most silent of thoughts
Scorching the once chilled soul
Over and over but I promise
Nothing will ever change

I’ve always been
Never would be

Minds on parallel paths
Yours truly

Living like it was the last
I just wanted to say that it was
Fun, fun to have these unruly
Emotions constantly splashing different colors right before my eyes

Brushing like it was part of a bigger canvass
Under this small fancy reality
To you, for you, by you

Never, ever
Once
We would

Have
Expected these to happen

World was my biggest stage
Intrigued, excited
Loving but never was once
Loved back

Shortly after breaks
Often we imagine
Often we wish but
None of mine came true

Lavishly fooling around
Everything was gradually taken for granted
Amidst those smiles was a
Voice yelling
Earning

Mourning, trying to
Ease the pain


I’ve always
Tried to be a puzzle

Wishing for
A
Solver

Focusing on me, and me alone
Until I might as well return the favor
Needless to say

These petty wishes
Have
Always been the reasons why
Nearly the whole scope of my imagination runs by circles and by
Knots

Yelling like mad
Obnoxiously trying to be
Untamed

And
Natural, always in
Denial

Good times never last
Of all things
Of all moments
Dying to say
Billions of sweet memories
Yet the other side was not willing to listen. The
End

I'm all alone, sentiments pour together with the rain

Until I heard your voice saying "Come here. Let me ease the pain"

I saw you one day in a narrow alley
Leaning against the brick wall
painted with a small smile
Thinking it was a wrong path, I turned around
And felt your hands grabbing my arm
You asked for a greeting before I leave
But words were good as gone
until I saw your eyes
I took a step back and started walking away
You caught up, asking what's wrong
All I did was smile
and disappeared along the busy crowd
There's nothing wrong
It's just that
You've seen right through me
What else could I ever say?

Lectures
  Discussions
     Exams
        Requirements
            Break times
                in
                   midday
continuation
of
    afternoon
        schedule
             staring
                  blankly
                     over the window
               watching the
            trees
        swaying
along the hymn
of the wind
                               eyes
                                      began
                                              to slowly drop
                                                  wishing to
                                                   doze off
                                                 trying to reach
                                        the night's dream
                                    moments ago
                              hoping that the continuation of the story
                       is just
              a blink
a w a y

Drafts
    and
       erasures
             outlines
                    and
                    pencil stains
                     bits
                        of
                              lea­d
                                                        scatter­ed
                           across
                                  the floor
                              so
                          ­       does
                                       my
                                            thoughts
           ­                                whenever
                                       I'm with you

Meeting you
Was like a simple game of Tic-Tac-Toe
Thought it was easy
Thought it will be just the same
But I just can't keep up
Neither you
We can't really deal with
Who the real winner is
But this I have to prove
That the game was decided
On the very first move

We traced stars with our fingers

Sang songs along the spilling light of the moon

The galaxies running like a ceiling

In this midnight start of a breezy June

My raison d'être. My missing soul piece, the only goal i yearn most. You are my sophistication, yet you are my chaos. The scorch brought about by attempting to call you mine. It was burning, aching. You remind me of a gift, always dreamt of but never had the possession to. I adore you yet I never tell. I care for you yet I keep my distance. I treasure you yet I keep on pushing you away. I crave for you yet I never let you touch me. You never fail to haunt me in my dreams. Hallucinations have shown me your very being.

The monster that screamed for your name has become a part of me.

You are my new found life, yet you are my cause of death.

The sullen silence crawling upon our lips
The swollen eyes, about to burst, trying to be brave
The heavily beating heart, bearing the pain
The wounded souls, longing nothing but the past

Misguided by fear of losing one another
We tried to act tough
Now learning how fragile we are
We accept defeat behind each other's backs

Maybe the heavens made a miscalculation
Maybe destiny was at fault
That on the first place,
There was no you and me

Petty quarrels, small smiles
You've mentioned last time
How much we contradict
Yet how much we jive

I said to myself that you were a new-found subject
That loving you will be a masterpiece
Yearning for the depths of your soul
You've conquered my rough sketches unknowingly

Perhaps, we are not of the same room after all

I never belonged to a dancefloor
With flashing lights and sparkling gowns
The art room was never your thing
The scent of paint and broken canvasses

Now that I'm too tired of everything about you
It pains to even just recall your name
And if ever this has been put to an end
No sentiments will linger, just a stain of mistake