A plethora of words have been said,
erratic aimless words,
nothing daunted,
in a hasty attempt to communicate.

Instants of weakness
Instants of despair
Come unexpected
To your hopes scare.
Life is unfair
So be aware
In those vulnerable moments
Holding on nothing but air
You might trust the wrong person
To your soul poison
Beyond repair.

I can't remember why I held you up so high,
You've got nothing but a cold emptiness inside.
It spread like a virus and washed over me,
Into my strength you planted the weakest seeds.
I became what you wanted, broken to nothing,
When all I ever desired to be was your something.
You held me so low that I scraped on the ground,
With your virus inside I couldn't make a sound.
I just bled and I bled until nothing was left,
You kept all my pride for yourself, such a petty theft.
I held you so high that you couldn't see the floor,
But I see the error in my ways and say, "Nevermore."

Fire, fire,
my heart caught fire!
rivers of fire,
monstrous flames,
are now flowing, burning,
inside my veins,
what's left of my spirit,
and remains.

I am
So tired.
I am cold
And white
And blind.
On my wrists,
Defensive wounds
From a vicious love,
From the kisses
Of a black asp
With constellation eyes.

I have been reliving my death.
I have been choosing
That sweet, frigid venom,
An addict dripping poison into my veins.

But I am
So tired.
I am spent
And lost
And alone.
There are bruises on the soft insides of my arms
From a habit of worshiping
Sharp things.
Under my fingernails,
Dark soil
Evidence of a grave I've overcome
Too many times
And a struggle I've won
At a cost.

I am sick of death.
Sick of attending funerals for the futures I lose
Brutally and unexpectedly.
I am sick of being tolerated.
I am sick of being
Sorry.
I want to feel life in me.
I want to learn the taste of sunlight
And safety.
Of forgiveness--
I hear
It is sweet as warm honey.
(I wouldn't
Know)

I have gazed....
Oh, I have gazed long,
And the void saw me
As I saw it.
And long after I wished I could look elsewhere
I stood, gorgonized, on the edge.

Hold my hand.
Remind me that I have hands.
Spread light
In me.
Forgive me for my gravity as I lean forward on that hollow breeze that's always calling.
Pull me back and keep me
Steady.

I will never be
On solid ground.
I will never be easy.
I will never be
Safe.
I am half light and half shadow,
Half joy and half pain,
Half kindness and half anger.
I am a great, twisted tree,
With my branches in heaven
And my roots
In hell.
Love that in me,
Will you?
Will somebody?
I am ready
To bloom.
I am ready
To live.
I am ready to be exactly
What I am.