you are not my gleaming sun

you are not the soft, peaceful beating of my own heart

you are not constant, sweet music to my ears,  
you are not my winged golden seraph, you are not my endlessly starry night sky

you are not my blooming rose, nor are you the color in my life nor the passion of my soul

you are here now, though
and you are warmth and adventure and a bitter, metallic, addicting taste in my mouth

you are not my life nor my one true love nor my soulmate, as such things do not exist for me

but you are a soft touch on a cold afternoon
and you've heard me say your name in a tone no one else has heard
and you took away my pretend innocence and replaced it with pretend experience

and your hands left impressions on my skin I will never show anyone else

and you feel as good as any misguided fantasy

so stay.

I influence
one life
only to tear the next down
I reward one part of my body
and dump my problems
on an already filled mind
I am a surgeon
who will cut anything
but itself
I am the theif that stabs
you for a penny.
I am the opposite of good intention
and the opposite of blessed harmony
I could go deeper and pollute
the enviroment
To the world I came as a gift
but to the grave I return as a burden
I never did  care, nor could
care  for anything but myself.
Even in death I spill
poison into earth

Would you die
For something that you believe in?

Would you live for it?

I don't know why
some sunsets make me sad
I stare at the fading sun
as I had
done in times past-   memories
still linger on somehow
(what entered my feelings then-
why should they affect me now?)
this I can only surmise
evenings are hours that languish
as the heart that seeks comfort and rest
the day's troubles wishes to relinquish

what would I dream of tonight
in a realm hidden from human sight?

I saw a young beauty at jail
i just had enough for her bail
so i chopped her up neatly
and packed her discreetly
as i sent her parts home in the mail