Maybe he did love me
But the drugs made him forget why.

He left,
Physically, he was still there.
Emotionally, he was absent every time.
His heart turned cold, with no happiness inside.

I left,
Physically, I walked away.
Emotionally, I'm still there.
My heart had a wide open wound, I'd given him everything inside.

I still love him
And the drugs don't help me forget why.

I was a wildflower in a garden of roses
and you still decided to water me.
You wanted to help me grow,
But all you did was pile more soil on me,
All your dirt was on top of me.
Burying me deeper and deeper
underneath.
It was so hard to breathe,
I wanted to breathe fresh air and feel the sunlight on my hair!

You stopped watering me.
I rose through the dirt you'd put on me,
Helped myself grow and now I am so tall.
You can try to cover me with dirt,
but that won't be enough.
I will always rise.

Dad

               thrown

                                  out

                  ­                             on

                                                             ­  Fathers day,

                                                           ­                             clever,

                           ­                                                                 ­       best,
                                                           ­                                                       
                                                                ­                                                         gift,

                                                          ­                                                      EVER !!

i had a dream about you last night

you were so kind
you took me to dinner and
that night you held me in your
arms and told me you loved me

that's how i know it was a dream

l.r.

But we're here,
In a bar,
You at the counter and I at a table.
We aren't here together,
But we aren't alone,
And you look like the leaves of
A fully blossomed Cherry Blossom tree,
And I wanna kiss you,
I wanna take you to bed,
But you wouldn't want that,
At least not now,
Not after you lost me in the bar lights,
A place where we aren't together,
But a place where we aren't alone.

i have no sanity anymore.
none.
instead, I'm fighting a civil war.
it can't be won.
i can't seem to vent to you.
why should i come to anyone?
why would i come to anyone..
if instead i can just take out my knife..
i hope and pray that maybe someday
my name will no longer mean life.
staying alive is harder than ever now.
oh, i would definitely go to you..
if i knew how.
so instead i just sit here,
waiting on the day..
the day that i'll come to you
with knowledge of the right words to say.

years absorb days
waiting for life's word -
moment when
creaking doors open
providing peace

days follow night
dank dismissive disdain
lone refrain soaking
soft dark soil
inviting release

was it in snow's soft folds
stark charcoal sketches
scratching sheets of white

or garish cacophony of
rude spring's play

maybe summer's
hedonistic obsession
bursting searing blight

or praps the weeping fall
resigned to decay

no... not there
not anywhere 'out there'

one day it ceased
incessant primordial
wail for absent breast
laid bare

grow up
stand tall
forgive
outlive

undo the latch
let newness breathe
let go lament and
choose to Live!