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I make room in my heart for other mothers’ children:
For young women who can’t yet see beyond their own insecurities,
For adolescent men who trip across the line between charming and churlish,
For students who are angry when they meet me,
For learners who have only known failure,
For special snowflakes who see their own importance clearly
But lack the words to understand their privilege,
For children who are cracked and bent by trauma
That’s been doled out by the world,
And for those whose drama is self-created,
Because being sixteen is a trial we must all endure.

I will love the impatient, the unruly,
the somnambulant and fragrant,
The artistic and awkward, the brilliant and bored,
The sensible and serious, the spoiled and the sad,
The self-righteous and the riotous,
The lazy and the learned, the kiss *** and the clown.

I study their faces to see when an eyebrow arches in contempt or confusion.
I listen, carefully, to what they are NOT saying about success.
I find a spark of brilliance in a sea of deficient-skills
And wear my cheeks out blowing on the embers,
Stoking the glow of competence that can
Burn. This. World. Down.

I hold my breath on weekends
Willing and waiting for these young men and women to
“Be safe and make good choices,”
And come back in one piece on Monday,
Because my concern is packed into the pockets
Of a hundred twenty backpacks,
And more than the homework and the essays,
I need my heart returned for class.
Some days he wore his teacher's mask,
It was his little trick
To disguise himself from students
When feeling rather sick.

He put it on and just like that
He wore the biggest smile -
He laughed and joked and taught them well,
At least for a little while.

The problem with the teacher's mask
Was that it wouldn't go.
He needed it when feeling down
And that was always so.

He wore it when he'd woken up
On the wrong side of the bed.
He wore it when he wasn't feeling
Quite right in the head.

He wore it when he fell in love
And broke his feeble heart.
He wore it when his friend had died
And his life was torn apart.

He wore it for so very long
He soon forgot his face.
He soon forgot his misery.
He kept it in its place.

He kept it for so very long.
It was a masquerade
So perfect that nobody could
Have seen through the charade.

And then that fateful day arrived:
He wrote that, "If they ask,
When rope is found around my neck,
I wore my teacher's mask."
 Jul 2016 Ibk Santos
camilleavila
I am shouting your name
giving all of my voice
just you to hear me


But I forgot
you are too busy
by shouting someone's name
 Jul 2016 Ibk Santos
innocent sin
My biggest fear
Not spiders, not the dark, not  any clown
But to see your body,fully gowned
Your makeup done with your hair down
You're with a guy who is into you but I'm not around
The thought of this just makes me frown
You with someone that isn't me, 404: Heart Not Found
I'll swim in alcohol and in my despair I'll drown
The music plays but my thoughts are the loudest sound
I hate this place and I hate this town
Leave me to be eaten by the hounds
I set it down
just a minute ago…
that Grudge I’ve been holding
Now, where did it go?

It’s not in my baggage
of Past Hurt and Pain.
nor is it in Pride.
Is it hiding In Sane?

Without it I just won’t
know what to do
on that some-day day
When I bump into you.

I might have to accept
that this is the end
of the heart-to-heart combat
of used-to-be friends.
Sometimes we nurture our grudges as if they are our children. We name them and hold them dear to us. But what might might happen if we forget where we last saw them ?
 Jun 2016 Ibk Santos
ln
my name is
 Jun 2016 Ibk Santos
ln
my name is depression
and i will drag your soul across your bedroom floor and hear you scream for help

my name is depression
and i will dig every blood vessel out of your heart until you are bare and empty, cold and silent

my name is depression
and i will run down your face as you try and explain the demon inside of you to people who do not understand

my name is depression
and i will eat your laughter, run my hands down your happiness and choke you with my scrawny fingers as you beg for air

my name is depression
and i will walk you home tonight, crawl into your bed and sit next to you as you contemplate your fall down this 23 storey building

my name is depression



*and i won't stop
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