She sells her body to strangers
for a hot meal and a cup of coffee
sometimes they don't even pay her
sometimes its just for free
all so she can escape
her reality.

Standing on street corners
between lost and abandoned
a friend tried to warn her
but never had she fathomed
it would turn out like this
from her lemonade stand
to giving it away with a kiss
picked up by another man
she's reminded of her father
on his finger is a band
as he wraps his arms around her
the odour is overpowering
his body weight
and laboured breathing
its getting late
she must be leaving
to another bed where she sleeps alone
and nightmares await
of old men's groans
she's no ones baby girl
an adult at only seventeen
her grandmother said she was a pearl
but how can she forget the things she's seen
worn down to a piece of grit
by a thousand grubby hands
she's been abused and hit
this tiny piece of sand
someone so insignificant
that no one will remember
a boy told her she was heaven sent
right before he used her.

She's become numb to the words
she's become numb to their touch
there's no place left in this world
its all become to much
so she closes her eyes
for one last time
and heads to the sky
where they can never find.

It's all in writing now
It's all been revealed
There's nowhere to hide now
My lips are no longer sealed.
It's too late to beg for my silence
I can't take it back
You can't twist the story anymore
Only read and recall the facts.

this is an alphabet of all the people
who have dug holes in me,
and of all the people
who are still digging.

this is a gardening guide
for would-be lovers and pretty faces
who do not even realize
that they are carrying shovels.

this is a weather forecast written
from past experience,
a reminder that winter
is not kind on crops,
no matter how firmly you pack the dirt.

this is me,
reflecting on seeds planted.

this is me,
reflecting on seeds left to die.

A,
i suppose it is fitting that the first letter
is also the first person to show me what it is like
to have seedlings sprouting up from inside you,
the first person to show me just how deep you really have to dig
to make the sting last.
you never came back to water what you planted.

H,
i’d like to say to that i ripped out your roots with my own two hands;
i’d like to give myself some credit in all this.
you don’t look as lovely as you used to.
you say i’ve grown distant.
i’m sorry.

J,
you always feel like being on the verge of something big.
you feel like summer, like a deep purple,
a bath of darkness.
you are everywhere that plants do not grow well.
and i have always felt — and still do feel — 
that that is such a grave injustice.
still, though you cannot speak the word “devotion,”
i beckon for more seeds.

P,
my greatest heartbreak.
heartbreak, though, is but a flesh wound when seen from afar.
and so i thank god for the miles between us.
i can feign forgetfulness when you are far away.
after all, what is a shovel in your hands if those hands cannot reach me?

S,
you are but a bud waiting to bloom.
and yet again i find myself so very afraid of growth.

(a.m.)

I have learned to never name anything that does not belong to me
My past tells me that the future is flighty, and I have to stop trying to tie her down
Perhaps, if I can just hold down the future today, then I can stop worrying about tomorrow
I never make a promise that I can not keep, that is to say
I never make promises
You were supposed to come up today
and even though you had complete control over it,
you were too busy

It's like an addiction
that keeps on recurring
once you've left
you just keep on returning

The clicking of shoes
The city night suffuse the air
With its chattery warm glow
I hook my arm in yours,
Feeling quite at peace
With the chirping night
And the cool tepid air,
At how the moon shone
Just so your eyes shone fair
I'm not fooling myself
I know I cannot indulge too deeply
There is an end to every story,
Even just a stroll of two best friends
Wrapped in a complicated fortune,
A love without a rose
A love with just two faced syllables
Never knowing which brick
Is made of fools or gold
Only knowing our paths were to travel
Together as long as it shall last

The little girl
wearing a Navy blue dress
with a white collar
and black patton shoes
holds a red
helium balloon
as she walks down a path of clouds
through the vast wilderness
of space and time
representing life on overtime
a second home on a lake
a souring career
living with a man she is married to
but doesn't love anymore
and may never have
sings the song
"Twinkle Twinkle , Little Star"
and she is wondering
just how far