I said platonic
He said try again

I want to fall in love
Deep and passionate and sparkly
I want to feel that high again
And I'm terrified I'll be chasing it the rest of my life

Deep in the hundred acre woods
Where Christopher Robin plays
You’ll find the enchanted neighborhood of Christopher's childhood days
A donkey named Eeyore is his friend
And kanga and little Roo
There’s Rabbit and Piglet
And there’s Owl
But most of all

When we’re human and we’re gonna be
I’m gonna blow my horn
(doodle-dee-loo)
I’m gonna live the high life
I’m gonna do my best to

Kiss the girl
Sha lalalalala
My oh my
Looks like the boy’s too shy
Ain’t gonna kiss the

Girl worth fighting for
My girl will think I have no faults
That I’m a major find
How bout a girl who’s got a brain
And always speaks her mind?
My manly ways and turn of
Phrase are sure to thrill her
He thinks he’s such a

Little black raincloud
Hovering under the hunny tree
I’m only a little black raincloud
Pay no attention to little

You poor unfortunate souls
In pain
In need
This one longing to be thinner
This one wants to get the girl
And do I help them?
Yes indeed
Those poor unfortunate

Friends from the other side
The cards, the cards,
The cards will tell
The past, the present, and the future as well
The cards, the cards,
Just take three
Take a little trip into your future with me

Be our guest
Be our guest
Put the our service to the test
Tie your napkin round your neck, chérie
And we’ll provide

The aggravation
That’s ancient history
Been there
Done that
Who you think you’re kiddin
He’s the earth and heaven to ya
Try to keep it hidden
Honey, we can see right through you
Girl ya can’t conceal it
We know how ya

Will never pass for a perfect bride
Or a perfect daughter
Can it be
I’m not meant to play this part

And at last I see the light
And it’s like a fog’s been lifted
And at last I see the light
And it’s like the sky is

A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I’m way up here
It’s crystal clear

I have often dreamed
Of a far off place
Where a great big welcome
Will be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer

Beauty and the beast
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the Beast

It is 9:04 PM and I'm counting down the minutes
In a third of the country, I'm 16 years old now
How did I get here so quickly?
When did I grow up?
I must have missed it
It's gone by too fast
******! I want my life back
I'm 16 now but I'm still a child
I'm so glad that I have yet to give
Even something so simple as a kiss
I'm a child at heart and a child at mind
My heart has been hurt so many times before
It's a miracle I'm not 100
I'm 16 or **** near it
And this year
2016
Is my year
And **** if I am not
Going to live it to the fullest

I'm healing
I'm healing
And I'm dying
I'm dying
It's 28 days later
Four weeks
28 days
I was choking
I was choking
On tears that would
Not cease their constant flow
But I'm breathing
I'm breathing
But just barely
I can't help but have feelings
They don't go away
They don't go away
It's been four weeks
28 days
I'm healing
I'm healing

Speckled concrete jitters
Sweaty knees knocking
Three seconds of brave
And she leaps
Exhilarating
She's flying and confidence rises
Risk is what she craves
Knowing even three weeks ago
She never would have
Said yes to adventure
To life
But now she refuses to say no
Even when she's terrified
And has one second of "oh ****"

Flirt
But not too much
Laugh
But not too loud
Tease
But not too mean
Touch
But not too long
Smile
But not too hard

******* so full of
Ridiculous lies that make you feel beautiful, when
  In actuality, he's a raging monster just like his father
   And he doesn't realize he's the one thing he hates
     Never really caring though
Enthusiastic ***** ready to
****** friends with false smiles
    Intuitively acting victimized
     Living as an actress of
      Youthful ignorance
Colorful words to make believe
Of help and encouragement
   Lining my heart with first aid only to press
    Eject when most needed
Beautiful and eccentric
Amazing mender of hearts and confidence
   In the midst of everything never giving up
    Loving wholeheartedly without fear
     Even when the recipient is undeserving
      Yet never to be for granted
Selfish and sometimes unintelligent
At making healthy decisions regarding a love life where
  Men don't respect her heart or her individually beautiful
    Mindset and opinions

Add a poem to my heart
Something that will leave me
Different,
Maybe better,
Than I had been before
Add a poem to my mind
Something that will make me
Dream and strive
To not ruin my life
Add a poem that will
Add to my soul
My being
My way of living
****** add a poem
That has some meaning

We are The No Boys Club
At least until New York
Or Greece
Or Italy
I'm waiting for Colorado
Or Scotland
But we're both too hopeless
To wait

Aerrow and I we're the
"Oh **** I didn't do my APUSH work'
The "I Donts Gots This"
Founders
We're all about "boys are gross"
"Boys have cooties!"
And "rainbows" on shoulders

Nothing is yuckier than all
The people at school
And they are kinda sorta slutty
Or *******
But we don't mind because it's easy
To tease

We are broken and hilarious
With our refined cowcaine
We are philosophical
But that's mostly due to sleep deprivation
We are always exhausted
And procrastinating
We are full of ******* and a lack
Of commitment to ourselves

We don't quite understand
What the difference between loving
And hating school is
But we do understand
That boys aren't worth our time
Yet we still go for the pain
And hold each other up

We are "don't touch that"
"I'm a lick you!'
"Ewie COOTIES"
And "Hey, it's okay: you gots this"

It's Aerrow and I
Against most of the world
**** near five years strong
In an unbreakable friendship

From the depths of my harshly
Used heart I sincerely thank you for
Caring in that unattainable way you did
Knowing just who I wanted to be

You always managed to remind me who I should be with
Obstinancy and
U*ndying fervor that left me behind

Dear fellow ink dwellers,
I wish that when you have a problem
After writing about it
That you would talk about it
We can't sit around letting an issue
Weigh heavy upon our souls and hearts
We need to open up discussion
And bear our burdens
We might not all like each other
But as poets we are a large community
And all of us can relate to pain
You can't make light of it
So I urge you
*Talk

Every place I turn
I can't unsee the horrors I've known
I can't say I have had it the worst
Not by a long shot
But it hasn't been butterflies

No three year old wants to see
Random men in their house with
Their mama when their daddy's not home
And no six year old should have to see
Parents so enraged
And divorcing
Nor should their best friend's parents
Feel a need to adopt them
Even temporarily

No seven year old should
Feel they need to be twenty-seven
And like they aren't allowed to cry
No ten year old should be forced
To choose which parent they like best
Under any circumstances

No twelve year old should feel
Any desire to harm themselves
And watch blood swell on their arms
No fourteen year old should think they're
Wrong because they believed in love
Nor should they feel jaded

No fifteen year old should contemplate suicide
At all
Especially not so thought out
With a grand scheme and everything
Just two months before their sweet sixteen
No sixteen year old should feel betrayed
And forgotten
Or unworthy of any kind of love

Every step I take I am reminded
That life is a widening gyre
Mr. Yeats, you were right
But I can't accept that to be
The only plausible possibility
Which leads me to believe
That with every step I take
Though my heart is torn to bits
By this minefield called life
I get a little bit
Stronger

There ain't never been an ego like yours
And sometimes it's due to fear or raisin'
But I can't blame your mama for this one
It ain't your daddy's fault either
This time it's definitely you
But that's all water under the broken bridge now
I won't ever stop believin' in these dreams that you chase
Because maybe one day you'll see
All your anger and angst
Was silly but necessary
Because it got you here today
Everyone believes in somethin'
Be it a religion, Fate, luck, or a person
And of all people, hunny, you need
A lot a believin'
Ain't nobody ever thought you'd fail in life
Mostly 'cause you scare the hell
Out of us all
But I ain't scared no more
Because I know you
And I know it's just an act
So come on home and we can set
All quarrels aside
And darlin',
Bless your soul

I am beginning to realize that
There are things in life
That will not matter in the end
For example my high school GPA
There are things so much more beautiful
And important
Like being a mother
A lover
A sister
A daughter
A friend
A human
And I am striving to be all those at once
Rather than stressing over how
I will finish my senior year
As I transition into the real world
Where I'll attend college with my best friend
Who unknowingly has made me see all this

I have a tendency
To sit around
Staring
Mesmerized
By the nothingness
That is projected
At me
In my empty
Soulless
Stare
I hear the echoes
Haunting me from the past
A nightmare
Sitting in the corner
Patiently awaiting
My folly
The cobwebs
They gather like false friends
My heartbeat is so
Genuinely silent
Until I beg to not have one
That is when
It screams the loudest
A sinful laughter
At the expense of
My broken
Shattered
Memory

Altruistic soul filled to the
Brim with bravery and
Courage that never halts and a
Drive that never dies
Elaborate and elegant in everything I do
Feeling every emotion to its strongest
Grade of real
Healing my once misshapen soul
Into a whole, not needing to
Justify my ways, be they
Kind or crazy because I
Love, it's what I'm good at
Mirroring the footsteps of great writers and
Never following the path then
Owning my fate and my faith
Pleasing myself above others
Questioning when necessary
Remembering where I am from then
Stepping into new and different
Thresholds that are
Unable to faze me, especially as I
Violently throw out my vicious cycle
Without wavering back to my old ways, using some sort of
Xylene to immortalize my past as a
Yellow reminder and stain, pushing me in
Zigs zags to be who I aim to be

This is the dream
That creates me

Astonishingly crass and
Brave in all situations
Comfortable in all quandaries
Daring beyond belief
Elegant and poised
Furious and feisty, fueled by anger
Grand individuality with a
Heart of ice and hate
Irreverent and haughty
Jester of pride, sarcasm, and sass
King of bluntness
Lively, rambunctious spirit
Mastermind of
Neuroticism, never in
Oblivion because
Pressure cannot persuade me
Quick to speak out against the wrong for the
Right reasons but truly
Selfish motives
Tainting the
Ubiquitous notion that every altruistic attitude springs from
Very bubbly and confident people
Wandering through life with the Greek concept
Xenia exhibited on the sleeve
Yelling boisterous excitements that could a game
Zoning in on all the end goals

These are the misperceptions
That create me

Agnostic girl full of
Belief in the mirror I
Create behind closed
Doors that open wide when I
Emerge into the terrifying world
Faking so much, so often
Grieving the fear that consumes me
Holistically I am an actress
In a world full of pretenders
Jestering my pride and arrogance
Keeping an ounce of who I really am with
Love from my closest friend
Most nights I can't go to sleep without
Nodding along to the music with tears in my eyes
Opening and closing, so close to losing every
Particle of my true self who hides behind the façade of
Real tough girl, but really I'm just a
Scared little girl, seeking approval
Through abusive relationships that get me nowhere
Underestimating my worth
Vicariously living through those I help
Wondering when I'll stop pretending and wanting
Xanax to ease my mind and cure the never
Yielding ball of AGGH in my stomach reaching the
Zenith called my mouth for awful bile filled days

This is the reality
That creates me

Jump
Dive
Swim as fast as you can
To get away
Before the explosion

Quick
Hurry
You can't look back
Otherwise you'll drown
And go down with it

Breathe
Release
The tension in your soul
He can't hurt you
Ever again

Sit
Cry
I know you loved him
But you will move on
Everything will be fine

Stand
Smile
A ghost of the past
Is not a light of the future
Abandon ship and fly

I promise
This one
Is for me and anyone who
Needs it

Don't
DO NOT
Let everything hold you back
Because pain is temporary
We will survive

There's a darker side to town
When the lights come up
When the sun rises
That is when the sin is most obvious
All the gamblers
With whiskey on their breath
Come stumbling out around nine in the morning
And wander into their homes
Sleeping the day away
Kissing their wives goodbye
For another go round of chasing the devil
Their wives dance about
In their sluttish suburban ways
Knowing **** well where their men are
And taking advantage
Every second
Of the loneliness they feel
Dragging in any man who walks their way
They don't mind the age
Especially when drunk and *****
And those girls who hate *** now
The *****
And the ***
And the money
The drugs
The temptation
Everything about the night life
Is appealing
Except when shown in daylight
No person is immune to the consequences
When the addiction calls
And a stripper,
So in pain,
Cries out to the sky
Pleading to be forgiven

Blue for stereotypical sadness
Red for passionate
Purple for bravery
And emerald for envious
Periwinkle for timid
Burgundy for romantic
Yellow for content
Black for suicidal
Grey for the never ending depression
Orange for elated and high
But in all honesty
My heart has no color
It's just a prism
Refracting my uncontrollable emotions

In the middle of the lonesome night
A heart aches and a mandolin plays
Longing and sorrow
Filled to the brim
Of a battered thought driven to the ground
Lost hope and faith
With no chance to rejoice
Pain floods the streets and enters the homes
Just down the road
To the town square
Where under a single willow
A bench does sit
Begging for the mandolin to smile
With its lively tune
With memories of a love once so on fire
That are now tainted with poison
And venom
From silly juvenile mistakes
That no clock or brokenness can take back
To times when joy and laughter and love
Never seemed to lack

It is said that hell hath no fury like a women scorned
But I strongly believe that a wiser thought is
The world hath no determination like a ****** adolescent

I am drowning in the humdrum of everyday life
Wishing I could be sitting with you on the edge of Italy
Looking out at the Adriatic Sea
But alas, I am here, paying for the life you left behind
And you are there soaking in rays and drinking red wine
I wish you hadn't left me for there
The least you could have done was paid for the airfare
I think that these bills distract me from the real problem at hand
If I really loved you, wouldn't I have left this land
This land of mundane life and of great exhaust
For something more extraordinary, something less taut
But then I remember that we weren't meant to be at all
Simply because we couldn't any longer stall
Now I remember why I said no to becoming your wife

Dear *******,
I don't need more ****
Blowing up the media
Blowing up my sanity
Blowing up the world
Literally
Dear ******,
Ruining humanity
Because you feel the need
To overcompensate for
Your feelings of insecurity
I don't appreciate
How you choose to draw attention
To yourself
In such a negative way
Dear *******,
Get your **** together
You need to learn that
You are not the only one who matters
You are not the only person
In this world with a
"Correct" opinion
Get off your high horse
And if you're gonna shoot up some
Place just because you
Feel so under-appreciated
Don't ******* shoot yourself
Dear *****,
Get your ******* *******
Out of their twists
You've got no more right than
Others who feel so down on their luck
To go around
******* **** up
Stop being a *****!
Dear ****,
I don't care if you ***** up your life
But I do give a ****
When you meddle with mine
I do give a **** when you **** with
OUR world
And yes, I get that this letter
To all you *******
Who think you're so ****** special
Could get me hurt
Shot
And killed
But at least I know how to use words
To speak out against injustice
And to speak up for my beliefs
Rather than just pulling a trigger
Or dropping a bomb
Sincerely,
A Very ******* *****

You are cherished deeply and infinitely. I know we are in the process of grieving. All of us are grieving differently and many of us are grieving different things. Some of us our grieving the loss of Kyle. Some of us are grieving our being mortal. Some of are grieving memories that are swelling to the surface. Regardless, almost everyone is grieving. But that's okay.
I write this letter to remind you that you are not alone. I know this first month of the school year has been rough. And honestly, we haven't taken much time to acknowledge just how rough it has been. But know this: there is still hope in the world. There are infinite possibilities for everyone. You are the only one who can decide how you will live your one crazy beautiful life. In the end it will be okay. Maybe right now it's not okay, and that in itself is okay. But know that if it's not okay, it's not the end.
So for now be still. Breathe. Let it sink in. Let it be. And when you're ready, move. Because life goes on. If you need someone to talk to I am here. Just message me. We can go out for coffee or fro-yo sometime. Whatever. I'll listen. It'll be okay friends. For now, let's be still together. You are a wonderful being and I hope you realize you are completely loved.
Love,
Samantha Moore
PHS Senior

I mourn the life I'll never live

So I suppose I shouldn't be surprised
But he wants to come to my aid
Rescue me from flirts that look like ******-Doo's Shaggy
I just don't think he realizes he's already saved me
I am no longer a damsel in distress
He showed the tower was never locked
I had a key the whole time
Now, he's so incredibly patient as I ease my way out
Loving me so fiercely; I can't help it
I love me, too
I always have, he just made me realize it
Anxiety consumes my soul like Man's Red Flower in Jungle Book
Oceans of fear splash across my brain
But my heart, although racing, is at peace
Even as I lose sight of who I am
He reminds me my imperfections are beautiful
He reminds me I am loved
He reminds me I am enough
And I feel safe
I've never known such peace
Never known such an unfailing love
I've said it before, but never will I stop believing
He is the sun; so am I
I have hope
I love him more than I ever thought possible
He is a saint
And I am lucky to call him mine
In any sense of the word

Anything and everything is a poem
Because with poetry there are no rules
Yes certain styles of poetry have structural restrictions
But anything and everything is a poem
That can of soda pop or beer just sitting there
The bookshelf and the book
The blank index card
The bag of popcorn
The script for your screenplay
The story of your life
And because poetry has no rules
You are poetry
I am poetry

Atoms
Ions
Protons
Neutrons
Electrons
Periodic Table
Moles
Molecules
amus
Molarity
Dilutions
Titrations
Calorime­try
Bond Enthalpy
Redox reactions
Non-redox
Oxidization
calories
Calories
Solubility rules
RICE tables
Stoichiometry
Polyatomic ions
Prefixes
Suffixes
Intensive
Extensive
Imperial units
Metric units
.
.
.
I don't understand yet

I didn't know it was possible
To be scared of a class
To not feel safe simply because
Your every opinion is
Torn apart
Either you are too smart
Or too dumb
No happy medium

This is western Washington
Not eastern Washington
Or California
Where the hell is the rain?
I feel it's been days
Weeks
Months
Years
I need some hurricane-esque rain
Right now
Because that is the most comforting for me
It's like a blanket
Of security and hope
That doesn't demand I hide my tears
I just want the ****** rain to fall
Because I am in a ******* drought of happy
When it comes to him
So explain to me why it seems
Western Washington
Home of Seattle and rain
Is in some weird ******* drought

I wonder how everyone I've encountered is doing these days
Did New York **** himself like he threatened?
Did New Jersey Photographer make it big?
Did Assembly Boy find someone else to trade shoes with?
Did Catholic Warrior find faith?
Did Olympian come clean?
Did Shoreline reincarnate?
Did Church graduate?
Did Bowling find love?
Did Lasso discover?
Did Fireman really accomplish it all?
Did Cashew go to Silicone?
I know I sure didn't go anywhere I thought I ever would

There is a fine line
You lean toward the latter

It's hard to have a voice
When you can barely breathe
It's difficult to speak
When you are being crushed by giants
It's painful to attend
When you feel such fear
It's hard to have strength
When you are wholly belittled
But it's hard to be weak
When you're forced to be strong
It's hard to make sure your makeup won't run
When you face tears every day
It's hard to have hope
When you only see hell
It's a struggle to admit
When you're being bullied
And know you can't help yourself

I am a minor miner girl
Searching for the diamond in each piece of coal
But sometimes all that is there is rock
No shining sparkle
But what girls like us minor miner girls
Don't realize is that we too shine
Those pieces of rock
Those lumps of coal
We throw our whole lives into
Trying to find their diamond
When it doesn't exist
At least not for us
We need to learn that we as individuals
Cannot press a lump so hard
And turn it to diamond
We need to see that
Nothing, absolutely nothing
Can hold us back
Except for us
So dear minor miner girls
Please realize your worth
And don't give your life to those lumps
Of what is really just dirt

A soft glowing light
Oh how it did shine
Right on my bed
On such a dark night

A soft glowing light
Provided such peace
A sense of serenity
A shard of some clarity

A soft glowing light
Did save my life
Through its blossoming hope
And spiraling show

A soft glowing light
So subtle yet bright
Sliced a hole in my heart
And has become my grace

A soft glowing light
In the middle of the night
Saved my life
That soft glowing light

Hey hey hey everybody
I'm here by special request
I'm a no good shitastic mess
Thrown under the bus
Kicked to the curb
Just as I deserve
I'm not worth the love I desperately crave
Sure as hell not worth the love that you gave
I'm a ***** up and a mistake
Not worth making
I'm a horrifying risk worth not taking
I'm a regret unworthy of faking
I'm so down on myself
Like a homeless puppy
Kicked and abused
Half tail
One ear
Broken ribs
With little hope
Maybe one day someone
Will take me home to love gingerly
Maybe
But not very likely

There's a reason we all
Have given you this title

Congratulations,
For you have been chosen
As ******* of the millenia

From unlicked envelopes
And blank papers
Because my pen could never touch the words
My brain searched for endlessly

You woo no one
With your lies
Except for everyone
Who wants to believe
Silly girls like me
But your lies become venom in my mind
And I take a step back
To spit up the poison
Then I realize that
A boy who lies is a boy who hides
I just want to help you
Find your soul again
That was buried deep when
You were unnecessarily glorified
For using you God given charm
It shouldn't have corrupted you so much
But I know that underneath
Your gilded exterior
And hard coal middle
There is a beautiful diamond soul
And a very prominent v

I know I must sound like a record
With a scratch in the wrong place
Sk sk ski skipping but st st sta staying
On the same line
But I miss my best friend
And I could really use a friend always
Isn't that what we all want
I had a Bailey but I was mean
And she took herself away from me
Rightfully so but that doesn't make me
Less sad
And now I'm stuck here missing
My Miss Bailey Lee Ann something awful
I must be in deep **** with her
Because I can't confidently reach,out
Without fearing rejection and blocking
But Bailey
If you read this
Please know I love you
I miss you
And I wish you
Would come back