Just because you can’t hear me doesn’t mean I’m not there.
Every moment is a waking nightmare
Of anxiety and all I see’s a dangerous path that leads to apathy.
Just because I’m still kicking and breathing and fighting
Doesn’t mean that I’m not struggling
Doesn’t mean that I’m not juggling every single task
With kicking, breathing, and fighting just to stay afloat.
Just to keep from drowning.
Just to keep from shaking and crying and breaking and dying and
Screaming out to the world

I am not okay!

And you know what that’s okay.
Because I don’t have to be okay every single day just to be able to say
Everything is fine.
Everything is not fine.
And when the world comes crashing down around you
And you feel like you’re about to burst because of all the emotions that you aren’t feeling
And when the world starts reeling and spinning under your feet
And you feel like you’re sinning because you don’t feel complete,
Take a moment

To breathe.

Because no matter what you believe
One day you will feel again
You’ll feel the sun on your face, a loved one’s embrace and then
You’ll finally feel
alive.

Where I am it is dark
The light tries to find me
but I move away
I keep my hands to myself
I leave happiness
for another day

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sometimes I cry
Because of you

Poppies are red
Anemones are blue
You don't always realize
Just what you do

Rosemary are blue
Tulips are red
Why have I let you
Inside of my head

A set of stars follows you everywhere
And every time you smile in my direction,
They follow me around for a while, until I'm sad.

But you're always their to give them back

There's a halo twisted around your neck
You let me turn and it always snaps
Then goes back into place, so you come to me

I'm the only one who can put it above your head, you see

Some people think that The Devil doesn't exist but he's not imaginary.
At the moment Satan rules the world but that is only temporary.
After Jesus returns, Satan will be defeated and destroyed.
In the meantime, his wicked temptations are things we should avoid.
The world is in a terrible shape because Satan causes people to sin.
But at some point in the future, he will lose and Jehovah God will win.

In the wake of the moon
All my world is sadness
The crescent hung night
Under whose cover
I drink fire

Hidden from the gods
Hidden from the eyes
Satisfied

Fleeting in the first moment of morning light

I wish to be alone
Staring out from an empty field
I want to see God
Bend down and blow out the sun
Then I would lie down in the ice
And spin through dark eternities

We joke sometimes
about falling in love,
we talk in deep detail
about our romance;
the kind of house we want,
the name of the family dog,
would we rather have boys or girls,
and we argue over who will stay home
to raise the kids, I always let you win.

We joke sometimes
about growing old together;
we talk about thinning hair,
wrinkling skin, tired eyes
and energized grand kids.
We promise to one another
that we will stay in love,
still hold hands, hug each other tightly
and kiss both daily and nightly

We joke sometimes
about a life we could be living
and I just want you to know
that I am not always kidding.

I got flowers today
it wasn't our anniversary
or anything special
it was our first argument
he yelled into my face
and pushed me against the wall
I woke up on the floor
bruises
on my body
but, I know he must be sorry
because I got flowers today

I got flowers today
it wasn't my birthday
or Mother's Day
no
he hit me   hard
making me bleed
I thought about leaving
Where would I go?
What would happen?
I'm afraid of him
and I'm scared to leave
but I know,
he must be sorry
because I got flowers today

I got flowers today
lots and lots of flowers
today was different
today was special
it was my funeral
he finally killed me
maybe if I were strong enough
brave enough    to leave
maybe he wouldn't have had to be sorry
maybe I wouldn't have gotten flowers today