I need a drink
Just one
It won't hurt
It takes everything in me to hold back
I thought i had control
Apparently not
My throat thirst for it
My stomach aches for the sick feeling
Need sleep
Lipuor is the perfect sleep aid
I stand still
And.....
The world is visible
Revealing its ugly side
Did I really relasp
For short term plesure?
I'm guilty
PTSD kicks in
There's no stopping the episodes
Nightmares creep in
Terrified to sleep
Those demons keep pushing the wall
Encouraging me to continue.

Silence can spread cracks through my heart.
Loneliness like the pressure on broken glass until it finally breaks.
There is no solution for this kind of ache.

My mind blank and my chest slowly heavying,
I stare at a bright white screen
Looking for my remedy.

You hate the way I rub your back when we hug in bliss,
You hate the poke of my beard from a stolen cheek kiss,  
You hate the way I put off things when I'm able.
You hate my feet on the coffee table,

I hate the way you make me wait like a school boy,
I hate when you pack away all my cool toys,
I hate doing dishes,
I hate doing dishes, for my special wishes.

We hate the awkward kisses in movies these days,
We hate the time that slips away on vacays
We hate that we never have enough space,
We hate when others use our secret place.

They hate when you kiss away my dripping ice cream,
They hate my lion groans and your eagle screams,
They hate our poems about condescending things
They'll hate most of all..... it tugs at their heart strings.

This is the morning
No this
this is the morning
Where etherized upon a table I will finally sit up and be seen.
No, this is the morning.

Together milling loudly across park(ing lot)s
This! This is the morning!
Perhaps you've seen me undressed, perhaps you've seen me *******.
This is Morse Code these are hieroglyphs these are fingerprints on a frozen window pane. Meaning(fully equipped with the right place for a time) nothing to lose without first finding X.

This is the morning where to stay at home to garden and crow, hooked on the missing airplane lost in spices and exotic tea.

I loved her face
until her eyes narrowed
in disgust
and her red lips
spewed cringing hate
That's when I knew
beauty does not exist
All we have
is *** and
survival

Fred Fred
Pooped the bed
Told his mother he'd lain an egg
When his mother went to look
She put her finger in the ****!

All these years have passed me by
And so it seems I've crossed the line
I'm puttin' all my weapons down
And I don't care if I die

The streetlights down in my hometown
Are burnin' up my better nights
The moonlight through my window now
Is lightin' up this wasted life

Don't try to console me
Cause all in all it's all the same
No one's got a hold on me
I ain't got nothin' to gain

There's a bad man down in the valley
And he's playin' my song
If I don't be there by mornin'
You'll know where I've gone

Old man in a rocking chair
Underneath a cloudless sky
I don't say nothin' - I just stare
Must be good to be alive

There little baby now don't you cry
You ain't seen the worst of it yet
You won't make it even if you try
Everyone has a very last breath

Don't try to console me
You ain't haunted by no midnight train
You only know the best of me
The worst is hidin' in my pain

There's a bad, bad man down in the valley
And he's playin' my song
If I don't be there by mornin'
You'll know where I've gone