Not gone,
You are just farther,
Far from me.
When it gets darker,
You are just farther.
Hanging in the expanse
Like a crystal.
Staring at your home,
You are not gone.

An extra in the collection.
A collection of infinite
Sea of stars,
And pages of memory.
Some packed in my skull,
Some hanging out
Like a treasury.
Staring at your home,
You are not gone.

I fell in love with you, the moment I saw,
Maybe it was god's plan or maybe it was fate playing its game,
But whatever it was, It made me fall for you,
Fall for the way you smile,
The way you care about everyone,
The way you see the world,
The way you are, raw, unfiltered, loving, kind and simply just you.
Words aren't enough to describe how beautiful you are.
So darling just say so and I will surrender for you, only you,
Give me the chance to call you mine and I swear I will cherish you through all the seven lives...

Oh, I hoped
I could be free from this,
but I suppose I knew better.

The ache in my chest,
the crashing in my ears,
my vision full of blue,

so much blue

Oh, I hoped
I wouldn't have to swim,
reaching and kicking

Hoping to keep my fingers
to the cool air above,
a reminder that I have a chance

This ocean isn't one
you can simply see,
but it's so real,

so painfully real

to me.

i just wanted you to know
that I've been reading your poems
your stories
your heart
and I too
bleed for these words
like you
and I hope
you read mine too
when your heart
seek for words

I let different boys touch me
Because I wanted to know
Even for a second
What it felt like to be loved
Even if the love was cheap
And it tasted like ***
Like the punchline to a joke
I never got because it was me

I let different boys have different parts of me
Parts they didn't deserve
But I offered up willingly because I couldn't give anything else
after you broke me
I was looking for different fingers
to place different pieces and hoping  the outcome
would be a masterpiece
Maybe one of them would find a way
to cover up the handprints you left all over me

I let different boys touch me because I had to prove to myself
you wouldn't be the only one
that these scars marking my body wouldn't define
my worth to be loved
I am not entirely sure  
you aren't the only one who could ever touch me without slightly  flinching

I let different boys touch me because that is all I have been taught
To be a joke
To be silent
To be ready to give until you have nothing left
- they keep leaving me and I am to scared to offer up anything more than my body to get them to stay

It flies amongst the stars.
Flashes for a moment.
Despite the left scars.
Holds a place close, yet far.

It carries the fallen.
From mistaken paths.
To reaches impossible.
And develops new plans.

It creates new countries.
Raises dead soldiers.
Stamps unsung heroes.
With a feeling of free.

Hear its silent sound.
Open up your eyes.
Place it in your heart.
Elevate from the ground.

It helps us climb.
Better than rope.
Do you see its shape?
It is hope.

Feeling selfish
For resting
Councillor says
Your selfish for not resting
Delagate
Dump
Do another day
Don't bother
4 kids to mother
Pain makes you nasty
Irritable emotional
irrational
Horrible
Meds make you *****
Clumsy dangerous to drive
Rest is all I have
too be my best
Thinking the 4 Ds
Is how I role
Banish these feelings of guilt
I rest
To be my best .