Should I give up on life?
What’s my reason to live?
I know in my heart I have so much to give

I have so much going for me
So I’ve been told
But all I feel is used up and old

Too many things against me
One, two, three
Addiction
No Car
Cannot drive for years
Who would want me, who could handle my tears

I’m doing my time
For my sins and my crime
But who can see through
To the woman inside

It doesn’t seem worth it
To wake up every day
But there is no way out
I’m doomed to stay

Responsibilities hang over me
Penance to pay
For mistakes in the past
Memories that will never fade away

flyver på nattens sidste timer
Med friske minder på min krop
Jeg kigger op på månen
Som *** rejser gennem natten
min evige følgesven
Jeg kunne forlade denne jord for hende
og for evigt vandre i hendes sølven have
med stjernerne til at vise mig vej

There always is a reason to stay alive, even if it's just for one more day.

I walk across
to Hannah's flat
in Arrol House
and knock at the door

Mrs Scott opens
the door and stands there
she's a short thin woman
with a face of granite
with a slit
where her mouth is

whit is it?
she says
her Scottish accent
rough as stone

is Hannah home?
I ask

I dunnae kinn
she replies
HANNAH
she bellows
over her shoulder
Benedcit is haur fur ye
she adds
scowling at me

jist coming
Hannah replies
from back in the flat

yoo'll hae tae bide
Mrs Scott says

and walks back inside
leaving me
on the red tiled step

I look into the interior
of the flat
and smell breakfast
having been cooked

I look back
into the Square
kids are playing
near by
on the pram sheds
and over by the wall
girls are doing handstands
their feet
against the wall
dresses falling
over their heads
showing underwear

sorry about Mum
she has a mouth on her
Hannah says
where we going?
she asks

thought we'd go
to the South Bank
see the Thames and boats
and have ice cream
I say

do I need money?
she asks

just about 2/-
I say
for bus fares
and ice cream

I'll ask Mum
for a handout
but wait for the answer

Mum have you 2/-
I can have?
Hannah asks

fa dae ye hink
Ah am Rockerfeller?
nae Ah huvnae
her mother replies

no problem
I say to Hannah
I'll have enough
for us both

are you sure?

yes don't aggravate
your mother more
than you have to

so Hannah gets her coat
and we walk off
through the Square

she's like that sometimes
Hannah says
she's as tight
as a wing nut

we walk down the *****
and up Meadow Row

I ask her how her father is

she says
he's Ok but in
the doghouse more often
as not with Mum
but he's a softy
to Mum's hardness
but Mum says
he's soft in the heed
but he's lovely really
Hannah says

-I know her old man
he's English and a bit
simple after helping
to empty out Belsen camp
in 1945 where some
he told me were
more dead as alive-

we wait at the bus stop
she with her dark hair
pony tailed
with a tartan skirt
and white blouse
and me in blue jeans
and white shirt
and quiff of brown hair
and hazel eyes

she with a budding beauty
with her mother's
touch of tongue
who if roused
could give words
full lung.

She walks like a model,
She stings like a bee.
She knows all the secrets
And knows who's the prey.

She'll make you scream out for help,
Yet, she'll lock you in a cell,
Making you wonder your teribble fate.

Just watch out for this lady,
She's painted in red.
She'll cut you to pieces
And make you obey.

I remember
A time
Long ago
When waking up
Made me smile

New day
New opportunities
Fun
Excitement
Amazement
Love

I wake up today
Tears run down my cheeks

Dread
Fear
Disappointment
Heart ache
Anxiety
Stress

Is this all there is?  

I don’t want to wake up….