He played a blinder,
left her standing in the pouring rain,
He played it straight,
straight out of a well thumbed book,
He played the fool,
fool always rhymed with cool,
He played into her arms,
arms now cold from the chill of night,
He played it red,
red for the colour of her bed,
He played like he cared,
cared for the notes crumpled in his pocket,
He played his cards,
cards that made her tear her soul,
He plays a song
a song for her departure from this world.

Throw your soul down a wishing well,
so many lies in this kiss and tell,
black moon rising can you see,
only the darkness can set you free,
surrender it all and hear my call,
no one there to catch your fall,
casting shadows on all you hold dear,
look into my eyes and feel the fear.

Miscommunication is the tearful demise,
words unrecognized on a dark sunrise,
knock on the door of a hardened heart,
this unfinished symphony tearing us apart,
both reach out to touch the others soul,
grasp the empty space its secrets stole,
love lays in this old wooden chest,
so blow of the dust at your behest.

I Remember THAT Day

I remember that day

I remember that day

THAT DAY………….I FOUND YOU!!!
I remember that ….*******, ****** ***, **** YOUR LIFE TYPE OF **** DAY

We were both just fifteen years old, so rebellious but shy in our own right minds

You were just fifteen years old, when I found you slouched over the steering wheel of your mother’s 1978 Red Ford Pinto

YES, that red Ford Pinto with the rusted out, broken muffler, busted right tail light and six dents on the passenger door (that we caused when we were just 13)

YES, that red Ford Pinto that your mother insisted on driving us to school in, only to have us insisting on her dropping us off a block early, why, because we were too embarrassed to get caught seen in that “hunk of junk”, “*******”, red Ford Pinto.

I sat down next to you, in that red Ford Pinto, but you breathed not one single breathe out of your blue stained lips. I screamed at you “WAKE THE HELL UP, **** YOU!!”
My voice cracked with apology, I was so wrong to yell at you, as thoughtless anger filled my heart with sinful hate. But still not a single breathe passed through your lips.
I whispered in your ear “I am sorry”

I remember, that day and that single note you left on the dusty, cracked dashboard of that red Ford Pinto. That note with scribbled letters running across the wrinkled white paper and the pen that you dropped on the floorboard. That note that read “I don’t understand WHYYYYYYY”

That last letter on that note, that you penned, was flown across the paper as if you didn’t want to leave. THAT LAST letter gouged the wrinkled white paper with remorse and apologies. I felt every syllable that you wrote stapled across my chest as if I was being pierced by a thousand sewing needles that were trying to mend my severed, bleeding heart.

I REMEMBER THAT DAY, IN THAT RED FORD PINTO, WHEN I LAID MY HEAD ON YOUR BARE SHOULDER AND HELD YOU CLOSE TO ME. I REMEMBER OUR FINAL EMBRACE.

I REMEMBER THAT DAY, IN YOUR MOTHER’S 1978 RED FORD PINTO, WE WERE BOTH JUST FIFTEEN YEARS OLD, SO REBELLIOUS BUT SHY IN OUR OWN RIGHT MINDS, I REMEMBER TAKING MY FINAL BREATHE AS I HEARD THE GARAGE DOOR START TO OPEN.

I was born a sandwich kid
Not much love was shown
There was a situation
Lonely and alone
I would cry, affection dry
As a desert bone.

I had no preprocessing traits
If care were in a well
I would fail if I sunk my pail
Into the depths of hell
Neglect my due so it ensued
I grew up a shell.

We all need love to water us
A child must be fed
But if the care's not in the air
They might as well be dead

Cakes are baked with sugar
If it's not put in first
Can't bake again the bitter end
The cake is dry as dust.

And so I started using drugs
When I was but a teen
I ditched school, I was a fool
Because I could have been

Anything I wanted
Instead out there wasted
A runaway, a wasteland
A stunted tree and blasted.

(chorus)

I turned to religion
I thought I was home free
Buddhism, the SRF
And scientology

Transcendental Meditation
I read of the Bahai'
I read the book Siddhartha
It was like a high

But i lost faith and turned to drugs
Over and over again
I was ******, could not atone
I can now this story pen

(chorus)

Then I found my savior
The Lord Jesus Christ
I was beat, but He was heat
And melted all the ice
Around my heart, then I did start
To conquer every vice

I found the Holy Spirit
I found my Father dear
Don't think it odd, I found God
And now I have no fear!

We all need Love to water us
With Manna we are fed
We conquer sin, and we can win,
We can get ahead

We all need a High Tower
A place where we can go
To bask in love from up above
and let the Spirit flow!

[bridge]
We can all find sweetness
It CAN be restored
We are FREE and we can SEE
OUR PRECIOUS SOVEREIGN LORD!


SoulSurvivor
(C) 3/19/2016

~~
Lo! Large Small Stairway of Dreams
Covered with Slithery algae wearing a blue green rug
Suddenly Stood lopsided
But there is Still Speed
Wants to adopt another Shelters

Desert mirage far and near
Looking for an Oasis
Thirsty Heart wants water
Though the Scorpions wandering
In the Hot dry Sand
Of life keeps evidence

Dreams and Entity
As the Fantasy of the Cloud and Rain
However, the Truth may be Solid black
After Cleaning with Rain,
The Heart of my beloved
As the Bright Raft of Autumn Sky

Swept under the Shadows of the Evening Sun
In The Dull moon of Dream's Land
Love and Dreams mingled within a Solitary Dream
While the Fog lights lining
Elusive Emissions Of The Exhausted Heart!
~~
@Musfiq us shaleheen
....

touch the steel,
cold, hard and  unforgiving,
like the life I have led,
yet in this moment of quiet contemplation
it seems strangely comforting,
sure and steadfast under my feet,
the sweat and toil of this vast construction,
lives that have given themselves to the quest,
yet I now find myself at one with this web of steel,
my only friend when no one heard my call,
cold, wet steel and the vast dark sky,
to this strange connection I must now say goodbye,
the time has come, my leap of faith.