i.
I won't pine for you.
You may satisfy for now,
but this isn't real.
ii.
You are beautiful.
I reach for you, though I know
you're not what I want.
iii.
Spending time with you
fills my heart with so much joy
but I'm still empty.
iv.
There's a gaping hole
where I try to keep you, but
you don't belong there.
v.
I want something more--
more than you can ever give
in your brokenness.
vi.
You're not perfect, love,
no matter how hard I try
to think otherwise.
vii.
Someday I'll move on.
Someday I can love you sans
the idolatry.
viii.
We'll grow together.
We'll see what our hearts can bear
when we look elsewhere.
ix.
For now, forgive me
as I break these tendencies
to crave only you.
Friendships often go awry when I begin to seek consolation only though people. My heart has a void where I keep trying to put the love of other men, but they won't fill it. It's not their place. I need to learn how to be with my friends without hurting them/myself like this-- before it's too late.