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Hannah thomas Jul 2018
My body is a vacant space.
I am the sole care taker
But I am an unwelcome visitor.
It seems like visitors
Are the only thing this body can house
No one ever stays long enough
To make it a home

There was a time where this body
Was a home, my home
But since then
Insecurities have kicked me out
Changed all the locks
And left me for dead

I wake up every morning
Next to this body
Desperate to find a way back inside
I fear I will one day
Whither away to nothing
And all that will be left behind
Is an abandoned shell

Where I once called home..
Hannah thomas Apr 2019
When They asked me
Who hurt me
I almost said your name
I almost cursed at the top of my lungs
The day we ever met
I almost broke every plate
In the kitchen
I almost cried another ocean
To drown out your memory
But I didn't...

I simply said myself

Because who lets someone stay
After setting fire to the bedroom
After leaving the ***** laundry
All of all their past lovers
on the bathroom floor
After leaving bloodstains on the carpet
Because who lets someone break them
over and over again

How can I blame him
When I could have walked away
at any time
My dear if I could hate you, I would.
Hannah thomas Mar 2019
There are days when sleep
is my only solace
when the ache within me
is so strong
all I can do is lay still
but there are days when I
can not stay still for a moment
where life
flows so strongly through me
Sunlight spills over from every motion
Where all I am is uncontainable
And I choose to believe
that is who I am
Sunshine and contagious enthusiasm
Sadness has never been my name
Flood has never been my nature
On my weakest days
I am still an ember burning
On my greatest, I am the sun
Bringing life
Depression I know who I am
Without you
Leave.
And do not come back.
Hannah thomas Nov 2019
She felt heavy
Like stone
But looked pretty
Like painted glass
Like something breakable
But untouchable
Hannah thomas Oct 2018
I am fire and brimstone
paint me witch
and burn me with your insecurities
Hang me high on a limb
let me be a warning
tell them what becomes
of little girls with big ideas
with loud mouths
and unusual expressions
show them what it means
to be creative
how to paint with innocent blood
and call it justice
Wipe us out as quick as you can
Recognize us by the magic inside
or the devil you see in our smiles
drive us out before there are more of us

But there will always be more of us
For most of us still live in the shadows
Still fear for our lives
But oh, us courageous few
stubborn with pride in our quirks
will never die.
Try as you might,
slaughtering us by the dozens,
we will remain an unwavering memory
an example for those in the shadows
ready to come out and take our place.
Hannah thomas Feb 2021
I feel phantom hands
touch my skin
I try so hard to remind myself
no one is there
but in an empty room
I fear for my body
.
You got away - I got the scars.
Keep fighting girls and boys. It has to get better one day.
Hannah thomas Oct 2020
Your gravity
Has always brought me
Back to you
It is always the times
I am so close to escaping
That your orbit
Circles back
Dragging me into you
Kicking and Screaming
Awaiting the next time
That you let me go
To decide you want me again
Is this fun for you?

— The End —