One day you will know.
One day you might understand.

Any averageness you ache for, you will not find here.
No organization, nor solidity.
I am a whirlwin of inconsistency.

My thoughts are never ending.
My body is never resting.

These feet will never settle on solid ground.
This soil will always forbid it.
Like sinking sand, it embodies me if I give in to its suddle ease.

I'll run my race.
This never ending pursuit of wholeness.

You can't keep up.
Your desire is what keeps this earth above your eyes, where every other living soul chooses to reside.

It's this lump in my throat that seizes to be swallowed.
The missing thoughts in my mind that keep me from reality.
There are burns on my wrist from the ropes that bind them.
My mouth is shut tight from the tape that conceals it.

It's the screaming in my head and the ringing in my ears.
The shake in my hands and the ache in my feet.
There is a burning in my muscles from the tension in my body.
My deserted frame is collapsing.

It's the filth in my bones that wont wash away.
The haunt of 2:00 am that relentlessly feeds this exhaustion.

I wish we started with tears
For becoming strangers
and no longer knowing the rhythm of the other's heart
And moved to angry rants
Spewing brand new feelings of hatred
Though we're not sure where they came from
Progressing to the closeness of intertwined bodies
Always feeling the cadence of one another
To being so in love
That the thought of the other makes you flush with enamor
Moving then to late night talks
About life and the universe
And flowers and chocolate
Because what's more cliché?
Then to sweet love
Shown through holding sweaty hands
And wanting to spend every moment in contact
Then gradually spreading apart
Becoming tentative but appreciating every time you touch
Swallowing every word you ever said to them
And letting theirs drain from your ears
So that you drift safely away from each other
I wish we started with tears
And ended with "Hi, nice to meet you."

Before our hands even part
from our very first greeting,
my mind won't stop.

I want to know all that there
is to know about you.

Your greatest fears.
Your wildest dreams.
Your first heartbreak.
Your favorite childhood memory.

I crave to know the depths of your soul.
The inner workings of your thoughts.

I want to know who you really are,
not who you think I want you to be.

~The reason I am scared to love you,
Is because I'm really scared if you'll leave.
And that's my worst fear of all.
I use to love you with all of my heart,
You controlled my thoughts.
Now, if you leave ever again,
you'll destroy me.
I'm sorry, I still love you so much.