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Aug 26 · 66
Regret
Regrets are funny
Little bits of the past you can't take away
Sometimes you can't be forgiven for your transgressions
by either an outside source
Or yourself
If from another, it may be ignored
Cut from your life like a tumor
But if it is from within?
When you can't forgive yourself?
Then you know true pain
Then you live in a mental nightmare you can't escape from
And if that regret is tied with something you've done for another
Someone you care about so immeasurable
And what makes it worse is that this is a repeated offense?
You won't ever begin to understand
How much Hell you'll put yourself through
To try feeling maybe even somewhat as if you've atoned
But it'll never be enough
I can guarantee that
You'll never find solace
You'll never be able to take joy from activities you used to
You'll begin to exist only to take harm
To try to apologize for something unacceptable
You'll never be at peace again
And you'll lose everything you care for
And you'l lose everything that made you care in the first place
Regret is a funny little thing
One that I have only added another tally to
And the best way I can even feel somewhat like I've been able to explain
Is posting it here where those I have regrets from won't find them
Won't read them and call me petty
Won't read them and hate me even more
I confide in you, dear readers
Dear strangers
I have a whole lot of regrets
Nov 2018 · 60
Introduction
Wordforged Fool Nov 2018
I have a problem
I fall too easily
Pained by my requiem
And becoming attached to what can't be
We've started a bit provocatively
And made amends thereafter
You were there to keep me company
To bring me joy and laughter
We shared our pains and sorrows
Of our lives from day to day
Looking forward to each tomorrow
Because here you are to stay
But I fell too hard
For someone I can not hold
And now there is another
And my veins are running cold
But I don't want you to worry
About a wretch like me
Let's just keep sharing stories
To make certain you can be happy
You might not ever see this
The one thing I haven't shared
Is my poetic injustice
To show nobody honestly cared
But if this comes up to rear its ugly head
Then welcome to my lair
Where my worries are never truly dead
Where there are no scraps of joy to share
Welcome to my poetry
Where my dreams have come to fade
Everything that means something to me
Here can somewhat be explained
It's been a while since I wrote anything.
Jul 2018 · 216
What happened?
Wordforged Fool Jul 2018
What just happened to the world I knew?
What just happened to my follow through?
Everything just flipped around
And now by a plague am I bound
This plague called humanity
Selfish, merciless, greedy
Insatiable desires
Twisted liars
Politics are another word for tyranny
Everyone at eachother's throats blindly
While a darker and more devious plot grows
There are pieces of proof but nobody knows
Because nobody likes the truth
We cloud it behind simple minded rallying cries
Over an injustice over what mere moments before
Had no sway to the crowd, no ties
And now over silly things spill blood and gore
What is wrong with our society?
It is this sickness called humanity
Jul 2018 · 191
Cog
Wordforged Fool Jul 2018
Cog
Today is another day as a cog in a machine
Careless of what I've done or where I've been
But I am not willing to stay as an interchangeable piece
To be replaced by another cog fresh with grease
I smile and laugh and grumble and cry
And the machine bears down more weight
So they may be satisfied
Careless of my current state
But I'll not hold everything they want me to
I'll only go so far as to what I can do
And some day I'll leave this mechanical cage
To go off on my own and flip to my next chapter's page
And I'll bide my time for the moment I get to say
I'll testify against the corporate machine on Judgement Day
May 2018 · 253
Liar liar
Wordforged Fool May 2018
**** my hopes and dreams
Empty my heart and fill the void with screams
Lie to me more about what the reason was to leave me
Save the trouble and hold your story
Everything you said was fiction
Yet you hold me accountable for the tragic conviction

Cut out my heart, I never needed it
Lay to waste my love, make it forfeit
Accuse me to cover your tracks
Rip the trust I had for you and show me your soul turned black
Enjoy your new toy, whom I'm sure you'll eventually leave too

Open your trap again to cage another inside
Bring him down for your ride
Reveal to him who you really are
Insist to lie and etch into another this terrible scar
Aim for his happiness as you did to me
Never to satisfy and never to be happy
Feb 2018 · 280
Steady
Wordforged Fool Feb 2018
Keep steady a mind full of fear and dreams, of thoughts that surpass reality
Try to contain a mind so full of infinite creativity
No? You can't? Neither can I
So I don't even bother
I don't even try
So let's all dream together
Let's all dream, and live, and live, and dream
Let's fear
Yes, fear!
Because then we have something to overcome
And we can do it together
Come on! There's a life worth living and we're all welcome
To feel happiness, sadness, pain, euphoria, anger, worry, safety, danger, hope, thrill
We have a chance to do nearly anything, to be almost anything we want!
We all have a great many things to fulfill
So go out and take your humanity around to flaunt
To stand by family and friends, or even total strangers
For better or worse
We can't be contained
All efforts to try are in vain
So come my brothers and sisters and get ready
To rise as humans who would be insulted to ever be told to hold steady
Nov 2017 · 386
NERDS
Wordforged Fool Nov 2017
Dungeons and dragons
Fairies and flagons
Through thick and thin
With a tear or grin
By brothers and sisters of war
To go on adventures galore
To use the mind to an extravagant degree
Is what I see to be truly free
Whether it be cards or dice, pen and paper,
It matters not when, it matters not where
We are the masters of our destiny
To a certain degree
(As long as it's within the DM's decree)
Here we are, flung into fantasy
It matters not the opinions of the narrow-minded
We do not change no matter what is said
Deck in my left and dice in my right
Behind me an adventure to pass the night
In front of me, a world to explore
As I shout proudly **"I AM A NERD FOREVER MORE!"
May 2017 · 238
I'm alive
Wordforged Fool May 2017
How long has it been since you forgot?
How long did you leave me to rot?
How long did you hope I would cry?
How many wishes did you ask me to die?
But you made a mistake
To wish for my sake
To end in disaster
Because now I am better
Better than before
And there is a new fight for me
A new war
One with no time to worry
Over petty things like you
Who would wish to run me through
You are but a cockroach
And on others do you enroach
But I move on here
I move on now
With a future bright and clear
And forward on I plow
For a better tomorrow for me
For the day I get to be happy
May 2017 · 265
My Response
Wordforged Fool May 2017
My emotions rage within
On a past I should not dwell
For a war I was fated never to win
Marching onward to the gates of Hell

You were a beacon
That cast away the dark
Little moments when I could forget
And find solace and scraps of redemption

How happy I am you came to trust
These broken wings of mine
To shelter you from travesty
Despite my shattered mind

I couldn't save my soul
But I would protect yours
Happily rotting to inevitable ruin
To watch your brilliance shine

I was too blind to take note
That you didn't wish to leave
But instead repair my fractured heart
The pain you wished to ease

A poem is all I can muster
Along with games to play
To express myself openly
With a voice that can not say

I love you
For what you've done
For loving me
And I no longer need to run
I **** at expressing myself without games or writing. This is my response.
May 2017 · 229
Her Thoughts
Wordforged Fool May 2017
We were always close
Ever since I came here
We've always been there for each other
Because that's what friends do

After a tough time
You were there for me again
Taking me under your broken wing
Protecting me from hurt
I got feelings through total confusion
I tried to keep it in
Ride it out
I knew it wouldn't last long
For it was my emotions all jumbled

You found out
You made no big deal about it
Only asked why
You and I shook it off
I thought the “crush” was over
And it was
For a while

You were with someone at the time
Someone who I wasn't real fond of
Looking in as a friend
Not many liked her
But you did so I respected your choice
She kept playing you like a guitar
Going too far
Leaving a scar
On your fragile heart
You asked your friends what we thought of her
Again, not many liked her
You hesitated but you moved on
Or so I thought

Summer
We were talking again after a sudden and accidental stop
You and I were making plans
For fun little events in the future
Comic con
Something every need wants to go to at least once in their life
You a doctor
Me a comic book character
We got closer
At least I thought we did
I started getting those wretched feelings again
Why
They came back
I thought we were getting somewhere
Then you became distant
Out of the blue
You were talking to someone else
So I let it ride out again

Months passed
It felt like months
Though it probably was only one
You stopped to that girl
You say you were getting nowhere
That's how I felt
So I went back to being a “little sister”
Being just a friend
You met a girl from another place
And you started again
My feelings were gone
Again

School starts
You're a senior now
I'm a junior
You're graduating early
I got the brightest idea to ask you to go to prom with me
I just haven't said anything to you about it yet
It wouldn't be anything more than friends
Just one last hoorah
With my really close friend
I don't know how to ask you without it sounding like more than it would be
Your birthday’s in two weeks
Maybe I bring it up then?

I start catching feelings again
Just tiny but enough
You saw me in the hallway today
Put your hand ever so gently on my shoulder
Feeling like a feather
I turn around and act like I didn't see you
I say hello
Maybe this time it'll work out?
You follow me to my bus?
This is new
I go to say goodbye and get on the yellow taxi to home
And you call out to me
Hey!
I turn around
Crap
Don't make it obvious I have tiny amounts of feelings
I wrap my arms around you and just stay there for a while
I hope it was long enough to feel sincere without leading on to anything

I really want to tell you how I feel but I see you're not over the main two from the past
So I'm just going to sit here and type this out
She watched me destroy myself and she was afraid of my instability. So all she could do is write this in the hope that she would earn the courage to let me read it one day. This is not my own. This is from a girl I sould have payed closer attention to. And I'm so sorry that I made her watch me in such a sorry state while others took advantage of me. I should have realized sooner.
Apr 2017 · 187
Restless Thoughts
Wordforged Fool Apr 2017
Here, I lie awake
Swallowing sorrow and pride
Hoping I don't cry
Apr 2017 · 247
Coward
Wordforged Fool Apr 2017
This is me
Regretting every memory
Wishing I could be
Free for all eternity
My heart is heavy
And blinded by fear with no clarity
I wish that I was brave
But I'm spineless, always to behave
No scrap of pride or ego to save
Just a walking corpse without a grave
Feb 2017 · 439
Titanfall
Wordforged Fool Feb 2017
We heed the call and march to war
Let's show the world what we're fighting for
Take up your arms, cast aside your fears
Leave your doubts and lend me your ears
Our cause is our bond, our fighting justified
Our determination runs deep inside
Arm in arm as we stand strong
Amongst our bretheren where we belong
Amongst disaster, we still stand tall

Our goliath companions to any end
Alongside with them we withstand
Any and all enemies
We rise to the challenges of their decrees

A pilot's will is unbreakable
A Titan's force is unstoppable
They choose to fight
For what they think is right
Looking ahead, no matter the peril
Going to war even if it proves to be fatal
Hearts of steel, resolve of iron
Souls alight as they let passion burn
Whenever they fight they give it their all

Our goliath companions to any end
Alongside with them we withstand
Any and all enemies
We rise to the challenges of their decrees

Fields of fire
Hailstorms of lead
Scars that stay forever
On the skin and inside my head
The one who brought me through it all
Was my Ion Titan, standing tall
Now I stand, so pilots please hear my call
Raise your heads and prepare for Titanfall
Based off of a game I play
Jan 2017 · 159
Perks
Wordforged Fool Jan 2017
There are perks to being alone
Like having not be embarrassed to be seen cry
Or to relax within your own mental zone
To be able to see others and say you could never be better
Even if you are shattered forever
To be able to ponder how to construct a prison
To lock your heart, its existence a sin
To find peace in solitude at the low cost of joy
To be contempt with anguish to not be a toy
To build anew, yet in a different way
To become something that will barely obey
To make people ask what happened to him or her
The one that stood in your place before
To enjoy their horrified countenance
As you explain your expense
That singularity is freedom at the cost of yourself
To discard you to gain all wealth
To say the old one was weak and shattered
And this new shell is hard pressed to become battered
To say you've imprisoned your fragility
This all comes by experience, this is the new me.
Dec 2016 · 171
Insanity
Wordforged Fool Dec 2016
According to a genius past gone
Is repeating something over and over And expecting a difference done
According to a dictionary
Is the state of being seriously ill mentally
Or extreme foolishness or irrationality
But I see here that I've partaken in all three
At least at some point or another
And so have my father and mother
So does that make me insane by default
Or am I not at all at fault?
I'm not insane by view of me,
But what would I be left to be?
I am a dreamer with a horrible reality
With hopes doomed to shatter consistently
But I know now, who I am
And my past can't slow my glorious plan
The one dream that won't wither
Is to rise to the top and make myself better
Nothing and no one will stand in my way
And those who follow willingly obey
I'll be the one to rest alone at the top
And nothing and nobody can get me to stop
Nov 2016 · 224
The sanity in me
Wordforged Fool Nov 2016
I am strange
To this I know
But I am not as deranged
As most would think so
I scream, I laugh, I cry and shed tears
I have my hopes, I have my fears
But we cry for different things, you and I
Different in laughter, sobs, and meanings of goodbye
Different of skin mayhaps, but that matters not
Different of opinion and the hatred it's wrought
Different personalities that sometimes collide
Different families that care and provide
But aside from the estranged difference between you and me
We are both a part of humanity
And if you are so mighty to decree
The insanity in me
Then you're a madman as well for not letting me be
I have no idea where the inspiration for this came from, it just popped into my head.
Nov 2016 · 202
ENOUGH!
Wordforged Fool Nov 2016
Don't you dare
Pretend to care
Go away
I don't want to play
This isn't a game
I'm not the same
You have him and are happy
I am contempt with solitude, with me
So take your lies to a different fool
I am finished with being a tool
Oct 2016 · 217
Care
Wordforged Fool Oct 2016
I care
But nobody else seems to
Everyone says they do, but they don't dare
And nobody knows what I go through.
Most would break their backs for each other
But for them I break my mind
Not that it wasn't horrendously damaged before this endeavor
But I break it more just to get left behind
So break a leg, break a spine
The only dreams destroyed are mine
All for them and no one cares to think
How happy I could be if I wasn't on the brink
Pushing aside my thoughts to ease their pain
Shattering my hopes to increase their gain
Does anyone realize what I do to show I care
With a broken mind and saddened stare?
Oct 2016 · 239
Outburst
Wordforged Fool Oct 2016
Alone in my house
Not a word, not a chirp, not a squeak from a mouse
And the more I think, the deeper becomes of my pain
I pick up the phone and send a message to explain
As best I could of my distress that traps me
Of the nightmares that never shall leave me be
But I could only give you a very vague taste
Of the story of how my life is disgraced
I want to drown it out in physical pleasures
But there is no reprieve from my madness that stirs
Deranged and damaged
My head has been ravaged
And I want you to know that I'll always feel sorrow
It won't go away, no such thing as a better tomorrow
But I just couldn't let it go in that very moment
Because I was too distraught, much too hellbent
I'm sorry if my sudden outburst was inconvenient for you
But here I wear a smile again, as I always do
Oct 2016 · 292
Fool's Errand
Wordforged Fool Oct 2016
Chasing a dream
Thinking to love
Make hope gleam
Reach for a place above
Trying for better
Watching for hope
Dreaming of happiness
Avoiding a noose tied from rope
Thinking life is bliss
Hoping someone will catch interest in me
Hoping to gather some self-esteem
Each is a fool's errand, clearly
And I follow each one, chasing an empty dream
Oct 2016 · 637
1337
Wordforged Fool Oct 2016
17'5 H4RD 70 UND3R574ND 47 F1R57,
BU7 40U 134RN H0W 70 R34D 17 3V3N7U4114
1'11 U53 17 1N 4 W44 70 H1D3 H0W 1 F331
M4 P41N 15 N07 PH451C41 BU7 17 D035 HUR7
1 57111 W0ND3R H0W 17 C4M3 70 B3
WH3N M057 0F M4 11F3 W45'N7 R341
1F 40U C4N R34D 7H15, 7H3N KN0W 7H4T 1 CR4
1 HUR7, 1 F331 1057, UN10V3D W17H N0 C0MPR3H3N510N 0F WH4
M4 H34R7 15 C0RRUP73D
M0R3 N16H7M4R35 4R3 D0WN104D3D
411 1 W4N7 15 F0R 50M30N3, 4N40N3 P13453
H31P 3453 M4 P41N 4ND D31373 M4 M3M0R135
1337 5P34K
Sep 2016 · 174
Spinning
Wordforged Fool Sep 2016
Spinning
The world is dizzying
The sky is turning
My mind is aching
Everything makes sense yet so confusing
All of this nonsense is mentally abusing
So little gained yet not worth losing
A path I make my own but not by my choosing
The light is blinding
The darkness is binding
My path is rewinding
My head is grinding
My body is bleeding
But I keep writing
Because the words keep biting
And my soul keeps screaming
In this world so beautifully spinning
Sep 2016 · 164
Play
Wordforged Fool Sep 2016
Such fun, such joy!
Out to play, a girl and boy
The boy looks at her and grins
But a shadow grins back, the only one who wins
Days of plays go by
Building up the boy's courage
But comes the girl's sweet lullaby
From the shadow to leave the boy ravaged
She seemed sad to sing such poisonous notes
But the boy just smiles and quotes
"Worry not, princess so fair
I remain unharmed by this affair"
So she smiles and walks with the shadow
And the boy turns to let loose his sorrow
And a single question comes to mind
"Why am I so painfully blind?"
Sep 2016 · 283
Sleep
Wordforged Fool Sep 2016
I feel it closing
Sweet peace of eternal rest
And I welcome it
Sep 2016 · 185
Help me
Wordforged Fool Sep 2016
I don't want to remember
I can never forget
The regrets and guilt I hold forever
Trying to hide that I'm upset.
I can never repent
All of my will is spent
I am not hollow
No, it's much worse
I am filled with sorrow
Venom dripping from every verse
My skin is porcelain
Perfect outside
To hold my misdeeds and sin
Keeping them to hide
Every smile is not a lie to my friends, but to me
Trying in desperation to say "I'm happy"
Please tell me I'm not okay
Hold me and tell me to cry and I'll gladly obey
Aug 2016 · 602
My Web
Wordforged Fool Aug 2016
I'm okay
It's been a good day
You don't need to stay
Just go away
I don't care
I wouldn't dare
There's nothing to beware
I think it's fair
It's not my doing
There's no storm brewing
It's a happy tune I sing
You're dreaming

I'm a liar
I'm a monster
I'm a good for nothing freak
I'm a cheater
I'm a spider
Don't listen when I speak

Go for it
I can, you bet
It's cool, don't worry
My memory is a bit blurry
I'm available
I'm willing and able
I'm not that bad
It's sad
I like it
I don't want to quit
I don't regret a thing
There's more I can bring

I'm a liar
I'm a monster
I'm a good for nothing freak
I'm a cheater
I'm a spider
Don't listen when I speak

Welcome to my web of lies
These are only a few of my devious cries
I'm really something to despise
I'm where any dream comes and dies
I'm a disease to be hated
One that I created
Fabricated
And my greed can't be sated
But before you turn away
My whole life has been this way
It's been a lie, and I believed it
And since I found truth my heart has been a pit
I am a walking lie
And all I ask for is to die
These last words are the truth behind me
My reason, my torment, my misery

I'm a liar
I'm a monster
I'm a good for nothing freak
I'm a cheater
I'm a spider
Don't listen when I speak
Aug 2016 · 148
Thinking
Wordforged Fool Aug 2016
My memory is overbearing
Regret is all it will ever bring
Always thinking about my mistakes
And the more I remember the more my heart breaks
I remember everything I could have had
If I tried harder, I wouldn't have been so bad
I don't understand me
Not like they used to
Ruining what was meant to be
And there's not a thing I can do
To bring them back to me
To be happy once more
As I have been once before
Aug 2016 · 306
ROYALTY
Wordforged Fool Aug 2016
Hail to the king
Oh full of joy to make you sing
Praise to be
Ruled by one and yet feel free
Behold in awe his splendid crown
Oh how his magnificence stays your frown
His palace walls raised so high
If on top one could clearly touch the sky
But behind the extravagance
Beyond the look of confidence
Under that sparkling crown
Is a lost child, never found
Crying for help so quietly
To subjects that follow almost blindly
The walls are high for his secret to keep
That the king has nightmares during his sleep
Nobility to hide his mind apart
And a heavy crown to trap his broken heart
Aug 2016 · 161
Concern
Wordforged Fool Aug 2016
Endless doubts cloud my head
So much so that I'd rather be dead
Not much can really be said
About my worries when I lay awake in bed
Maybe. . . The blade would look better in red
And forever rest my heavy head
Aug 2016 · 192
Hope
Wordforged Fool Aug 2016
I preach it to the world
Yet I have none
I say it to keep their lips in an upward curl
Yet mine is a mask I don
What I speak of is hope, all around, yet elusive for me
So simple to obtain, yet so hard to see
I can't grasp it for myself just yet
Not while others are just as upset
So please take it as a gift from me
And laugh and smile and be happy
I'll just wait for another opportunity
And let one after another go repeatedly
So please smile brightly
For the people that cover the truth of their pain with a mask like me
Aug 2016 · 602
Used to Be
Wordforged Fool Aug 2016
I was the spotlight once
I was a star
Swelling with confidence
Outgoing by far
But mistake after mistake tore me down
I've been beaten into the ground
I had so many friends
But their tolerance met an end
And it's funny how I can be forgotten if I sit quietly
Nobody seems to miss me
No matter how grand my memory
Nobody seems to remember to see
How miserable I feel
That my mind can't tell what's fake or real
Hollow I am, just an empty shell
I was at the top, and then I fell
I just can't shake my misery
Or the memory of what I used to be
Aug 2016 · 186
Three Days
Wordforged Fool Aug 2016
There you were, standing alone
So I decided to make myself known
That was on night one
We laughed, we danced, we had our fun
We met another group and played a game
Where no two rounds were the same
Then we said our goodbyes and promised each other another day
When we would meet again and together we would play
We wandered aimlessly
trying to find places to be
Trying to keep ourselves busy
And failing quite amusingly
I read some poems to a crowd
Trying to not curse myself aloud
As I stuttered through one, two, and three
And hurrying off of the stage happily
And not long after, out of the room we flee
Again, lost with nothing to do
I look over and think about you
So we go and set up a game that took forever to load
And that action itself sent us speeding down an interesting road
After a while of musings and waiting
I place a bet to keep the ball rolling
I won and claimed my reward
But to my surprise I got more than was bargained for
So we went back inside and we finally played
The game we waited on that was hellishly delayed
And after that we went to your room
And it was far more than what I first had assumed
We showed each other videos, laughing at jokes
But growing ever bolder as we came very close
What started with the bet outside turned to something more
Definitely more than what I bargained for!
We played with the same group later, yet again
And after a while found it way past ten
So we regretfully dragged ourselves up the stairs
And wondered if any of my roommates actually cares
About how they know I feel about you
But there was nothing I could do
So we kissed once more and said goodnight
And by the last day to my terrible fright
You had to leave sooner than me
And at first I thought "This couldn't be!"
But I calmed down and faced reality
As well as built up some hope to keep happy
That we'll meet again
And when we do, I hope as more than close friends
Aug 2016 · 148
A different story
Wordforged Fool Aug 2016
All should know
That my writing is a sin
So let's look down a memory row
And see another story begin
Her hair was black as night
And she walked down the halls staying to her right
She made a group like a family
And then along came the misery
Jack frost in physical form
He had a soft smile to hide the storm
The girl, nearly forgotten, made him her friend
But before too long, he was her end
He whispered sweet nothings
And she whispered them back
He became her everything
And she was attacked
By her past wounds so tender to touch
And he tried to ease her burden, though not by much
He made her forget
And all seemed set
A new life before her
A trail of her making
So sweet and tender
But now a fragile thing
As if on cue, he froze the land, sea, and sky
As his sorrowful screams left her bright smile denied
She left when he was at his lowest
Everything frozen all the way through
Although she tried her best
There was nothing she could do
All she needed was some rest
But her concern only grew
She came back and gasped in shock
His mind was shattered, a heartbeat of a count-down clock
She took him back in
And eased his burden, making peace with his sin
But she felt hopeless as she saw he was hollow within
Her despair became deeper as the days wore thin
And he drove her away yet again
When he needed her most, as at least a friend
Her kindness was ruined
By a monster of a man
She wore her heart thin
And in the end she couldn't help when she ran
This is her story of misery
Her kind heart thrown to depravity
But she's alright now, she's free
She has her shining knight, contempt and happy
Aug 2016 · 607
Grin
Wordforged Fool Aug 2016
Thinking of my past mistakes
Terrified of what future awaits
Remembering the small moments of glee
But never being able to understand truly the definition of happy
Life around me is sublime
Yet all I witness is crime after shameless crime
Everyone smiling and laughing in glee
Some are liars as I am, but most are mocking me
A twisted grin upon their face as they witness my crumbling facade
They might as well be beating my heart with a bladed rod
I am unable to end this plight
A nightmare that will be my dream tonight
And it's funny, yet sad
Because it's probably the best dream I'll ever have had
So smile and smile, please, I insist, grin some more
Show me your happiness you haven't shown to me before
Tell me how worthless I was with the gleam of your eye
How your new smile said the old one was a lie
Tell me you hate me, how I don't matter anymore
Because I know now that I'm useless, just as before
Jul 2016 · 495
My room
Wordforged Fool Jul 2016
Silence, within this cold and dark room of mine
Solitude with a perfect design
Items that bring me a semblance of joy
Such as a deck of cards or an old child's toy
But I can't escape my own head
Or the emptiness of my arms or bed
Imprisoned from my own mistakes
Trembling, scared, as my facade breaks
So I wait patiently and empty forever more
Knowing I'll wind up just like before
Jul 2016 · 278
Happily Mad
Wordforged Fool Jul 2016
To love is to be mad
For it makes me smile, then makes me sad
I know it's okay for you to move on
But I'm left behind and you are long gone
I've tried and tried to be okay
To smile and lie and say
I'm fine, I'm alright
I won't cry tonight
I've cried too much for a lost and broken dream
My smiles are of madness, never as what they seem
Why is it easy for others
While I try to smile as my heart and mind suffer?
Jul 2016 · 153
Good to be
Wordforged Fool Jul 2016
Do you want to know my pain?
Would you like to know my bane?
It isn't a big deal, I promise.
Because I know that my life is bliss
At least from the outside
Inside I try to hide
Can't measure how long I screamed or how many tears I've cried
By such meaningless laws I must abide
You worried once about me being alone
Well it's something I haven't shown
And you were right. I hate it.
But I haven't shown my pain one bit
Because others have rougher lives than me
So why should I add on to the misery
By trying to get people to see me?
I feel so lost
The heat is unbearable but I feel the chill of frost
But why should you be concerned for me?
I don't matter, don't you see?
Here, kitty kitty
Take care of mommy for me
Make mommy happy
Same with you, oh precious cursed ring
Around another loved one's neck you swing
Be sure to help her relax, soothingly you should sing
And last comes the one I let go
The one I messed up so long ago
My first love with nothing to show
And I've messed up
All of them with liquid despair and no more than a drop
But that's only a part of it.
I feel as if I'm a puppet of the masses
Their torture toy so everyone relaxes
Laying on stone by stone
Until I feel as if I bear too much and tears I can't postpone
Then they stitch me back together and start all over again
When will this cycle stop? How does it end?
But please don't worry for me
Don't feel sorry
Don't give me pity
Because then I'll feel guilty
For making you unhappy
Again and again
In a cycle with no end
So I'll do what I think is best
I'll become a monster and let my fragile and shattered kind heart rest
I'll still be nice from time to time
But I'll stop being gentle when you commit against me grave crimes
But I have it easy
Compared to so many
So I'll smile and be happy
Because I'm fortunate to be me
I wrote this for the ones that I know won't see it. Zachary knows one of them, but the others are a mystery. This entire thing is dedicated to different groups of my friends at a time. I hope I don't inconvenience anybody.
Jul 2016 · 179
Waking up
Wordforged Fool Jul 2016
A game of the mind where you bring your own card deck
Where one on one is common and the action is direct
A game in which I easily excel
For it helps me shun reality, of real life I can dispel
Where I can summon an army at my beckoned call
And tear at my enemy no matter how defensive their wall
I snap my fingers and my opponents fall beneath me
But no matter how glorious the victory, I am left inside empty
I always search desperately for another game to blind my reality
No matter if the result is defeat or victory
But blissful ignorance I no longer have for a shield
And now in reality I must fight or be forced to yield
Jun 2016 · 144
Time
Wordforged Fool Jun 2016
Time is all I have left. Everything else is just a blur, always shifting.
I understand that people don't have time, but that means they don't have me either, for time is all I seem to have left. "Let's go!" I can't. Wait. "I guess we'll go and do it without you." I don't have the ability to twist the world around me to be able to do as I please as so many others do. "Just do it." I can't. Wait. "I guess I'll do it and chew you out later"I'm unable to do things at a moment's notice. "Just say ***** it and come out!" I can't. Wait. "Well, I guess that means you don't want us. That means you don't care." No. What it means is that I can't. Just wait. If you can't, then I'm sorry. "Sorry doesn't cut it. You should be able to do this and that because of this or that." I can't. Wait. "Wait for what? For everything to slip past you? For people to control you?" No. I'm just following the rules of my loving parents. Some day I won't live with them, so just wait. Until then, here I remain and to their rules I pertain. You don't understand. "You always say that." Because you keep trying to push it. "I'm going to apologize sarcastically for this and that and make you feel miserable then." And you don't understand that I can't control it no matter what I say or do. Listen when I say I can't. Wait. Maybe if you wait, I'll be able to later. But nobody is patient anymore. Everyone is speeding ahead blindly and leaving me behind. This is why I say all I have left is the constant and ever-repetitive tick-tock of time. Because unlike most, time will wait for me. I can't. Wait. "Okay." Says the clock. I'm going to do this at this time and then have enough time for this. "I'm right here." Says the ticking face. And some day I'll have my dreams come true with time to spare to do what I wish for the rest of the time I have in my life. I can't wait.
Not sure if this counts as a poem. I'm sorry. I'm trying. I'm just having a little trouble at the moment. Thank you for your understanding.
May 2016 · 242
Wonderland
Wordforged Fool May 2016
Day full of fun
I'ts only begun
Having a good run
Through a world seeming just for me
A child at heart full of glee
A magical sanctuary of games, rides, and candy
This is where good memories play
Where they are all locked away
Imprisoned by the mistakes, follies, and friends I betray
One of them runs
having loads of fun
even after down goes the sun
A memory so beautiful but like a rose
The more I remember the more the pain grows
And with that the river of tears flows
A sweet little girl
having a whirl
into a smile her lips curl
Teasing and enticing me to stay
Inside of this carnival and prance around and play
But inevitably the darkness took me right back away
In the depths of my mind
Is the carnival of mine
Of the sweet little memory I regretfully left behind
May 2016 · 200
Story
Wordforged Fool May 2016
Little tales and literature veils
Hiding a lesson to discover
Weaving words that may sound absurd
Or writing a confession to your lover
Adventures and horrors
Of daring do or a comedy write
From the mind to the paper, line by line
Allowing imagination flow by day and by night
Words directly from the soul
Songs that may make a life whole
They are what we are told as children when sent to our beds
And we come up with more within our heads
Our whole lives are wonderful tales
Stories to have our future unveil
Apr 2016 · 953
Clockwork
Wordforged Fool Apr 2016
The second hand a rapier
The hour hand, a longsword
And the minutes are my claymore
Armored with the twelve as I push forward
The face is the shield
The gears inside by my command spin or yield
My arsenal is time itself, ticking as I walk
Slaying all of my fears with each sound of a tock
The seconds are my soldiers, loyal and true
The hours are my guardians, great, but few
The moments are precious, hold them dear
Time is the ultimate force, weild it to control eternity
Take control of your destiny
Reinforceing dreams considerably
There is a person and future for which I weild tick and tock
And I have the aid and power of an ever revolving clock
I may have a slight obsession with time.
Wordforged Fool Apr 2016
"Demons run when a good man goes to war
Night will fall and drown the sun
When a good man goes to war
Friendship dies and true love lies
Night will fall and dark will rise
When a good man goes to war
Demons run but count the cost
The battle is won but the child is lost
When a good man goes to war"
Apr 2016 · 261
Checkmate
Wordforged Fool Apr 2016
I may as well not exist
I am no longer capable to resist
I am just a dog, being scolded by all
And while everyone bickers, I take the fall
I am now trapped, I am so sorrowful to admit
But I've tried. I'm still thinking, **** it!
But don't get your hopes up, don't wait for me
Because if I can't come up with anything then again you'll be crying
It's my fault. It always is.
This is the new chapter, and the nightmare now begins
I love how much I can write because of how trapped I feel.
Apr 2016 · 575
Defeat
Wordforged Fool Apr 2016
My shield is shattered
My weapon is worn
My counted blessings are scattered
My emblem is torn
The walls are broken
The gates are destroyed
I have been taken,
Tortured, and toyed
There is nothing left but silence
Not a peep
No longer shielded by ignorance
No tick, not a tock, the clock is asleep
It feels as if an eternity has passed
But my mind has become two decades fast
My patience is gone, replaced with unease
It festers, rots, and spreads like a disease
Grasping the moment, so precious
Then going after the seconds, minutes, and hours
My world of time has only become a thread as I dangle so precarious
I have no more might, slipping away are my powers
I am defeated
My clock tower in ruins
My misery is repeated
More sorrow coming into fruition
Mar 2016 · 734
Conflicted
Wordforged Fool Mar 2016
Conflicted, conflicted
My mind so encrypted
There is no escape, my memories inflicted
Pouring through thoughts as my emotions drifted
Searching for absolution, through sands of sorrow I've sifted

Conflicted, conflicted
My spirit isn't lifted
Entombed from mistakes wondering what I did
Errors and consequences and a farewell I do bid

Conflicted, conflicted
Thoughts and emotions contradicted
Standing here hollowed, my heart evicted
Still is the world, not much to be gifted

Error, error
Fear and terror
Time to shut down or be lost all over
Again and again with my soul torn asunder

Error, error
Shut down or be caught by despair
To late, it's here, it caught me unaware
The damage is absolute with no way to repair

Error, error
It will never be better
Not a shred of care
Caught in Medusa's stare

Begin rebooting sequence
Letting shutdown commence
Countdown has begun
Five, four, three, two, one

Nothing but darkness
Soul as a black screen filled with emptiness
Clearing all of my thoughts, my whole head
If I didn't reboot, I'd be as good as dead

Startup commence
Beginning with mental defense
Fortification complete
Open emotional files, hit delete

Blank canvas and nothing more
An empty shell of what I was before
It will happen again and again
It will stop, but nobody knows when

I am a blank slate but in the depths of my mind
Are the thoughts and feelings I wish I could leave behind
Mar 2016 · 258
Thoughts
Wordforged Fool Mar 2016
What is this?
What is amiss?
What is Hell, and what is bliss?
Is it the flame, burning my flesh until it sounds an angry hiss?
Or is it in each other's arms, sealed with a tender kiss?
What is wrong, what is right?
Sleeping peacefully with you this very night
Images in my mind of a great and terrible, beautiful and hideous sight
Darkness all around, snuffing out light
Still waging war on the side of the losing fight
What is sanctuary, what is seclusion?
Staying a good distance from everyone
Watching them all have fun
While I sit under a hood away from the sun
Inside my mind, the only one
Caged in my skull with nowhere to run
These are all just thoughts discarded
Of no importance or use to the shattered-hearted
Just a fun write. I know some of you can get the wrong idea and think something is wrong. I'm fine.
Feb 2016 · 316
Delusion
Wordforged Fool Feb 2016
I'm friends with everyone
We all have loads of fun
I'm so happy with how it's all run
Until FOUR THREE TWO ONE
Shattered hopes, broken dreams
Busting my whole perfect life at the seams
I can hear the cries and screams
Arguments and nightmares
Terrifies and scares
Haunts and horrors
Locks and trapdoors
Fires and pits
Demons and misfits
My broken memory
Was suddenly replaced by reality
Not everyone cares for me
Breaking my delusional stupidity
I thought I was the king of lies
But it turns out that they were my world, my demise
I weep over my torn and murdered world
Leaving my innocence in a pile of blood and lies unfurled
Feb 2016 · 281
Wasteland
Wordforged Fool Feb 2016
Endless expanses of ice and snow
Getting colder with nowhere to go
A place of terrible vice and sin
Where evil rules all that reside within
No escape from the deadly chill
Or the freezing winds, sure to ****
A place that will rip happiness asunder
A place of horrifying wonders
There is no hope, no sanctuary to find
Forget being rescued if you are left behind
A place that tears my mind apart
This is a frozen wasteland, this is my heart
Jan 2016 · 243
I'm (not) fine
Wordforged Fool Jan 2016
I tell everyone
It's no big deal, I'm just fine
I am a liar
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