My shield is shattered
My weapon is worn
My counted blessings are scattered
My emblem is torn
The walls are broken
The gates are destroyed
I have been taken,
Tortured, and toyed
There is nothing left but silence
Not a peep
No longer shielded by ignorance
No tick, not a tock, the clock is asleep
It feels as if an eternity has passed
But my mind has become two decades fast
My patience is gone, replaced with unease
It festers, rots, and spreads like a disease
Grasping the moment, so precious
Then going after the seconds, minutes, and hours
My world of time has only become a thread as I dangle so precarious
I have no more might, slipping away are my powers
I am defeated
My clock tower in ruins
My misery is repeated
More sorrow coming into fruition

Conflicted, conflicted
My mind so encrypted
There is no escape, my memories inflicted
Pouring through thoughts as my emotions drifted
Searching for absolution, through sands of sorrow I've sifted

Conflicted, conflicted
My spirit isn't lifted
Entombed from mistakes wondering what I did
Errors and consequences and a farewell I do bid

Conflicted, conflicted
Thoughts and emotions contradicted
Standing here hollowed, my heart evicted
Still is the world, not much to be gifted

Error, error
Fear and terror
Time to shut down or be lost all over
Again and again with my soul torn asunder

Error, error
Shut down or be caught by despair
To late, it's here, it caught me unaware
The damage is absolute with no way to repair

Error, error
It will never be better
Not a shred of care
Caught in Medusa's stare

Begin rebooting sequence
Letting shutdown commence
Countdown has begun
Five, four, three, two, one

Nothing but darkness
Soul as a black screen filled with emptiness
Clearing all of my thoughts, my whole head
If I didn't reboot, I'd be as good as dead

Startup commence
Beginning with mental defense
Fortification complete
Open emotional files, hit delete

Blank canvas and nothing more
An empty shell of what I was before
It will happen again and again
It will stop, but nobody knows when

I am a blank slate but in the depths of my mind
Are the thoughts and feelings I wish I could leave behind

What is this?
What is amiss?
What is Hell, and what is bliss?
Is it the flame, burning my flesh until it sounds an angry hiss?
Or is it in each other's arms, sealed with a tender kiss?
What is wrong, what is right?
Sleeping peacefully with you this very night
Images in my mind of a great and terrible, beautiful and hideous sight
Darkness all around, snuffing out light
Still waging war on the side of the losing fight
What is sanctuary, what is seclusion?
Staying a good distance from everyone
Watching them all have fun
While I sit under a hood away from the sun
Inside my mind, the only one
Caged in my skull with nowhere to run
These are all just thoughts discarded
Of no importance or use to the shattered-hearted

I'm friends with everyone
We all have loads of fun
I'm so happy with how it's all run
Until FOUR THREE TWO ONE
Shattered hopes, broken dreams
Busting my whole perfect life at the seams
I can hear the cries and screams
Arguments and nightmares
Terrifies and scares
Haunts and horrors
Locks and trapdoors
Fires and pits
Demons and misfits
My broken memory
Was suddenly replaced by reality
Not everyone cares for me
Breaking my delusional stupidity
I thought I was the king of lies
But it turns out that they were my world, my demise
I weep over my torn and murdered world
Leaving my innocence in a pile of blood and lies unfurled

Endless expanses of ice and snow
Getting colder with nowhere to go
A place of terrible vice and sin
Where evil rules all that reside within
No escape from the deadly chill
Or the freezing winds, sure to ****
A place that will rip happiness asunder
A place of horrifying wonders
There is no hope, no sanctuary to find
Forget being rescued if you are left behind
A place that tears my mind apart
This is a frozen wasteland, this is my heart

One, two, three, four
I declare a ****** war
One filled with pain and hate
And one side will fall if the other is late
One born from deceit and lies
I'll be the one she will despise
One thing I grow tired to see
Is her drowning in misery
I don't ******* care if she hates me
Only tell me if she's happy

I'm breaking
My soul is cracking
My mind is bleeding
My heart is shattering
And I am screaming
I want to be saved
Or have my name in a headstone engraved
Either way is a way to liberate me
Just another way to be free
I am suffering but you can't see
Because I'm laughing joyfully
But I want you to see through my lie
Or our next kiss may be our kiss goodbye
For I may soon leave this world
A pull of the trigger leaving my suffering unfurled

I am afraid
Of being betrayed
I am terrified
Of being denied
I fear the people closest to me
The ones I call my family
Tyrants taking advantage of my cowardice
And never giving me a real choice
All I'm allowed to show is unconditional obedience
I am shackled by their chains, keeping my distance
I am trapped and afraid
Keeping their punishments delayed
I am but a spineless fool
Good for nothing but their tool

I'm screaming silently
I'm crying for help inaudibly
I shout but nothing can be heard
Listen close, not a syllable, much less a word
I'm screaming silently
For someone to end my misery
An existence inside of my head
I may as well be as good as dead
I need to be saved, to be heard
But I scream and shout with a smile, not a word

On the outside, I'm just fine
But take one look into my MIND
This is HELL
This is BLISS
There are SCREAMS I can never quell
I'm a broken machine of HORRORS nobody can FIX
THIS is my head and all of the emptiness
Full of terrible thoughts that will not find silence
I smile because my head can't decide what to do
Crying for me is nothing new
IGNORE what you see
Because inside is the one and true miserable and broken *ME

I see your blood, I know you're in pain
But let not your suffering be in vein
Let me hold your broken heart
To keep it from further falling apart
Protected until a solution is found
Held close to me, safe and sound
I crack, crumble, and fall apart
But I'd rather I suffer than let anything harm your heart
My doors are ironclad
My walls are steel
I hope I can make you happy and glad
So I can continue to bear the metal, so cold to feel
I want you to smile
I want you to weep with joy
So I can continue my denial
Of the walls collapsing, myself I destroy
I am the vault of secrets and lies
If you smile, then I'll be the one they all despise
Even if you hate me after
Just be happy now and forever

My weapon is patience
Time is my sword
For me, waiting makes no difference
Because the ones who wait reap their reward
The clock is my armor
The watch is my shield
Watching the hands revolve forever
As all of time itself I feel as if I wield
I feel in my heart that all will be solved in patiently waiting
For all must come to an end, both despair and hating
My weapon is patience
My armor, the clock
Eventually all will know silence
*Tick-Tock

Hush my darling, don't you cry
Even when the light is about to die
For when the darkness comes to play
Forever with you my heart shall stay

Pain, deceit, misery, and lies
These are all I know and they're what I despise
But that also means I hate me
But the echoes of my past won't leave me be
My sins, my crimes, my evil misdeeds
I hate myself, yet I plant these seeds
Hit me, punish me for all I've done
I can't hide, I can't fight, I'm too frightened to run
But the echoes, OH GOD THESE TERRIBLE ECHOES!
I can not rid myself of them
Burn me and make me bleed
Either that or leave me be
I don't deserve kindness
Not for my cowardice
Not for the pain I've caused
Not for all of the lies
I've taken their bliss
I guided them until we were lost
And I am the false shepherd until the last lamb dies
I am a monster, hiding in a human's skin
I am nothing but evil within
I have good intentions and I want to do right
But I can't because all I can do is extinguish the light
Cut me down and punish me for what you have no knowledge of
For I deserve it all if I am ever again to be worthy of love
Worthy enough again for joy, laughter, happiness, and bliss
These are the emotions I long for, I miss
At the end of it all I ask for one tender kiss
For me, undeserving, a monster amiss

We have been betrayed by virtual brothers in arms
We have been dealt a great injustice
We have been turned against and they mean us harm
But I will not tolerate this
We will rise again, the soldiers of exile
We shall storm the field and make them kneel, beg, and grovel
We are the ones left behind
Beaten and battered by our own kind
So bring me your lone wolves, your unwanted, and your clan-less
For the Cult of Slaughter will show you kindness
Each one betrayed will become a demon
We are the nightmare, our cult of the forsaken
There will be war
There will be blood spilled
We will be their horror
We will rejoice in the bloodbath from the ones we've killed
Slaughter can't be spelled without laughter
And we shall laugh while we **** and die, now and forever
I was the Nuthouse Devil
And I am now the Demon of the Cult
I'll look upon my old friends and smile
As I lead our clan's uprising and revolt

I know exactly where I stand with the blade, sharply edged
I know where I'm going
But look at my heart, so dark and damaged
I am lost in a labyrinth of my own undoing
Trapped by hopelessness and voices screaming of my demise
They cry out that nothing will ever be okay
But I continue to search for the end of this maze to my own surprise
Searching for signs of joy such as laughter and children at play
But these dark voices scream louder, consuming my hope
And around my neck they try tying a rope
But I continue to run, not out of fear
But because I know there will always be a warm light at the end
And with all of my friends and family guiding me there
I run faster, and into the arms of all who are deemed family and friend

Look into my eyes as you stab my soul
Hold me close as my body runs cold
Kiss me as I slip into emptiness
Blood flowing from my mortal wound, bringing you bliss
The cold steel of your knife warming in my chest
And with a deadly love we are both obsessed
So please my dear, end my misery
Show me you care and **** me sweetly

As the rain falls, so do the tears of my friends
The angel of my death smiled as she helps while my soul ascends
She says as I look back "These tears lie,
For they are tears of joy to see you die"
So I smile and say as my angel rings my bell
"I'll see all of you lying ******* in Hell"

Don't mind me
I'm just bleeding
I'm suffering but you can't see
My mind is slowly receding
Just take notice and help me
Put a bullet into my skull is all I ask of thee
I'm scared, I'm alone
And kindness is something no one has shown.
I feel so cold, so dead
I can hear the voices echo inside of my head
Telling me I'm free
Just grab the gun and end my misery
I'm suffering, can't you see?
Of course not, because no one cares about me

My friend is sleeping on the floor
Surrounded by a puddle of red water
He isn't breathing anymore
Neither are his mother or father
We were playing a simple game
The last one to fall asleep wins
It got boring having everything be the same
So I sank a blade into their esophagus within
The red and blue lights flashed and a man said I was bad
They put me in time- out and it made me sad.
But I got orange cloths and we played robbers and cops
And I watched laughing as my sleeping cellmate drops.
I dug his eyes out with a spoon
And a white van came soon
They placed me in a room with pillows on every wall
The room wasn't very wide or tall
So now I sit on my bed and mope
Sitting here wearing my nice white coat

You're a bit rough around the edges and slightly rude
You are my guardian, my sister, my friend
Your methods of life lessons for me may be crude
But you mean the best for me, not a false pretend
You are my blood, my life, my flesh
And every moment with you I cherish
I love you, my dear sister
And I want you to remember that forever

A game is just a game
Many have said this, and I am one to blame
But for the gamer at heart, it means so much more
The ability to escape the reality from before
Going on an adventure or quest
Or battling over which strategy is best
Fighting by fellow gamers against an impossible foe
Being able to destroy or create wherever you go
Surviving an endless horde of undead
But this doesn't stop the lie that is said
For a game is not just a game
And if you saw one through my eyes, you would say the same