we are deemed the broken ones
with minds gone "crazy."
we are only grateful recipients,
for we see the world in other ways.
we are not faulty humans;
we only have an alternate life.

i tried to love;
i think i succeeded

but not like you,
not like them.

my love comes in waves,
fleeting and crashing;

it surges, strong,
then breaks against the sand

and i'm left with nothing but an empty shore

don't reprimand me
for doing as you do.

we both wear the wounds of warriors
on our skin like faded tattoos—

warriors, not survivors,
still fighting for our lives.

don't reprimand me
for doing as you do.

i know the bitter taste of hypocrisy
as well as you do;

we perpetuate these cycles
like we just can't help ourselves

and the way you speak of yourself,
some broken poem in love with its pain, hurts me

i will be angry, and i will lash out
i do not know how to function normally

emotions?
no thank you.

sociopath, little boy, *******, pathetic apathetic *******
what a ******* i am,

what does the label matter?
all of it overrides my love; you've made that clear.

what a failure,
always breaking the things i care about

like they cost nothing,
even though i feel the debt deep down.

i try, i try so hard to fix them,
to make up for sins that i didn't even commit

but

all i end up doing is adding my own to the list.

i asked you;
you lied.

i wondered,
"don't you trust me?"

i looked at you:
transparent, always a bad liar,

to the point where
it becomes enraging;

your lies mounting―
blatant, obvious

i looked at your sullen face,
felt myself grow bitter

i wondered,
"didn't our love once taste sweeter?"

i asked again;
you lied again.

i wondered,
"when did you regress?"

i wondered,
"when did we regress?"

it felt like
twelve steps forward, thirteen back.

maybe we're just meant to be
unlucky.

never once
did I stop
and seriously consider
the Lilly…
I am what the kids call
a ‘macro’ thinker
when a school shooting happens
I never think about the victims
or the perpetrators,
instead I contemplate our violet society
and wonder at the surprise of my
fellow countrymen
landslides, floods, forest fries
not once do I stop and worry for the homes
or the individual memories
I reflect on 100 years of industrial pollutants
and the effect they are having on our
fragile ecosystem…
remember the O.J. trial....
I didn’t care if he was guilty or innocent
only that fame and wealth equate
freedom from legality –
from time to time this
attitude gives my closest
friends and family, pause
I was raised in a compassionate household
by near-hippy’s looking to help the community
was given public education and love
the deal is
not all sociopaths
are violent or dangerous,
some of us
just don’t care the same way –