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"What about us?"
"Us?"
"Yes."
"Consider it gone."

Cold air,
Gloomy night.
Heavy atmosphere,
I can't breathe.

I know there's something wrong,
There has to be.
I just can't point out what it is,
But I'm sure something really isn't right.

Staring blankly into the vast emptiness of space,
You suddenly looked me in the eye.
I studied your expression,
I can't explain what was written all over your face.

Sadness?
Despair?
Emptiness?
Anger?

You kissed me as if it was the last.
I held you,
Not knowing it will be the end,
The end of you and I.
"You little *****! As soon as I see you, you're dead!"--

Bedroom,
Closet,
I don't know where to hide.

Bathroom,
Kitchen,
Where do I go.

Think clearly.
Breathe in and deep,
He'll leave, yes.

His stomps I hear not from afar,
Searching for me,
Wanting to beat the living **** out of me.

"Come out now, it's about time we get this over with"--

He chuckles like a lunatic he is.
It wasn't my fault that I'm not the one for him.

"You know darling, if you just said yes that night none of this would've happened."

I remember,
That night in which he asked me that stupid question.
In which I rejected his love.

Then the doors of my bedroom flew open--
He sees me.

Run.

"You can't hide now. No one will know that you're dead after this."

"I've had enough already Bryan, I've given you multiple chances, I thought you'd change."

One.
Two.
He's inches away from me.

He stabbed me with a knife that he got from the kitchen.
Blood dripping down.

I tried to fight back,
He's too strong to handle.

"Get away from me you ******!"

I yelled as I managed to break from his iron grip.

"Love makes us go crazy Alex, you're the reason why I'm like this"

He pushed me against the wall,
And whispered--
"I love you, I own you."

Then I heard a loud bang-- gunshot.
Blood rushed down.

Red, my hands are full of red fluid.
It's not mine.
A gun, in my hand.

I shot him.
God shot a man.
I don't know how I got the gun.

"Bryan!!!"
I yell in horror.

"Wake up Alex, you're just having a nightmare."

Just a nightmare, I wish.

I fixed myself,
Wiping out the sweat from that horrible nightmare--
Surrounded by white walls.

Two more years and I'll be free.
I'll be out of this white prison.
Out of this thing that binds me.

I'm not crazy,
My reality is not twisted,
I'm telling the truth I swear.

He tried to hurt me,
I guess.
'Cause that's what I know.

Or maybe they're right,
Afterall.
Maybe I really am out of my mind.
Maybe my reality is twisted and broken.

Then I dozed off with the drug they gave me...
  Apr 2018 Christine Fernandez
i
the best addiction is
alcoholism,
because you can
drown your pain into
the sweet taste
of alcohol,
and forget all
about it.
You pushed me off of a boat
And watched me.
You watched me drown.


- Eleanor
I've always wondered,
What's it like beyond the wall.
Beyond the skies.
Beyond the depth of the ocean.

Beyond our love,
What does our love offer?
Is there more to it?
Because if this is it, I'm not convinced.

"I'm sick of you. I'm tired."
"What did I do wrong?"
"It's just I'm tired of the same old stuff."
"I want to prove you wrong."

I've given you a chance,
I know you did your best.
But I guess I don't want you anymore.
I feel confined in your love.

I want to see what life there is for me,
Opportunities and chances.
To be free and see the great beyond,
Beyond you and I.
"I'm sorry."
I tried to look him in the eye,
But I just can't.

"For what?"
Those innocent eyes of his,
But I have to end this.

"I think it's best for us to go separate ways."
Nothing's right anymore,
Nothing.

"But I thought I'm your sunshine..."
I don't deserve you,
You're too good to be true.

"You are my sunshine."
I loved you before,
But now I'm not sure.

"If I'm your sunshine, then why are you leaving me?"
You've brought me joy,
You've caused me pain.

"You're draining out all my colors. Sometimes we need the rain in order to survive."
I need to take a step back,
To see what it's like without you.
Like the keys of the piano,
The notes of the violin,
The chords of the guitar,
She's my sweet lullaby.

Like the enchanted forest,
The vast ocean,
The blue skies,
She's my world.

Her smile,
Her eyes,
Her voice.
They make me feel euphoric.

I know it's wrong,
To make her my everything.
Wrong to feel this way,
Sorry.

Why does she have to be so perfect,
She's too good to be true.
She's an angel, sent by God,
For me-- another she.
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