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331 · May 2018
emotion
ella May 2018
taken in by your ways
my emotions as you fade
fade into a picture on the wall
an image in my head
as you become just a memory
i hate you
i hate the way you left
i hate the feeling of your presense stolen from my fingertips
i hate the absent place you left in my heart
the way you never found away to leave my mind
but i love you
i love the way you talked
i love the way you walked
the way you always kept me on the edge of my seat with the gracefulness of your words
but you're gone now
gone for good
and i didn't realize how much i needed you here until you weren't here anymore
until you weren't here for me to hold anymore
until you left me
with no explanations
300 · Jul 2018
pills
ella Jul 2018
i am different, so you prescribe me with pills to make me feel aye-okay but now I'm that girl who takes pills. you know the girl who's ****** up in the head. the girl who had scars covering her wrists and who talks to the counselors once a week. you know who I'm talking about everyone knows her. i don't want to be that girl. that girl who's known for being sad, the one who's just never really there. the girl who you went to school with for 5 years and you still don't know her name.
253 · May 2018
fine
ella May 2018
so im gonna jump into the moonlight
forget about my past
enjoy my sweet life
the past is the past
and it will be alright
i often have to ask myself why
why have the ability to fly when some are fighting to survive
why i've been gifted with the purity of mind
isn't that for when you meet the god in the sky?
maybe it’s because i’ve met the god that's inside
the heart that keeps beating with all day and all night
the teacher within my very own inner guide
my demons and my angles are the reasons im alive
were learning that heaven is active on earth
when our bodies, minds, and hearts intertwine
and when we collide
we breathe in the holy divine
you are the temple
bow to your own shrine
217 · May 2018
help
ella May 2018
ive been consumed by the language you use
by the thoughts in my head
and the blue in my mind
the blue that controls me
a pure addiction from the soul
every day a little stronger
and every night a little longer
now stop giving me those ***** looks
now that im calmer stop captivating my innocence
stop concieving my skeleton like its a statue
stop controling me in every thing that i do
im done
178 · May 2018
try.
ella May 2018
you can't save me anymore
you can try
but you wont succeed
the only thing i've been successful in
is making me bleed
i'm useless
lost
broken
saving me is practically out of the picture
so for one last time
goodbye
this is the last time im going to try
try to die
try
171 · May 2018
gone
ella May 2018
i need to breathe
i need to leave
but as my feelings are conceived
all i cannot see is me
and as I'm blinded by your lies
its the truth where I'm most surprised
when i choke and i bleed
the last thing i need is a we
but when you just leave me to be
trust me ill be dead within a week

— The End —