it wasn't meant to end up like this,
but i was sad,
and he was lonely,
and alcohol is nice
for sad and lonely people

eggs of plenty eggs of white
dishes stir to open cabinets
sky of gray spewing light
smiles fill the air
check once more to affirm
there is no way it's there.
coffee steaming, air like silk.
next time you start breakfast,
make sure you have some milk.

Ever since I was twelve I have
craved
a woman's touch.
Ever since I could remember I have
had a natural mistrust in men.
I have broke the hearts of many
men because it just wasn't
enough.
I need a woman's touch.
So soft yet strong.
Understanding kisses and familiarity.
Same anatomy telling stories in the dark.
Yes, I need a woman's touch.
To hold me and shape me.

i'm sick of writing poems about you
but nothing else invokes the same extent of emotion
you make me so
ugh
insecure, unsure, unwell
but then
you smile at me
or tell me we should hang out soon
and i pour out words

sometimes i think that i'm actually different from everyone i know
like i think in a different way and feel or don't feel different emotions
obviously that's not possible since being unique is a social construct
and all that blah blah blah
let me be self indulgent for now, alright?

i think that i'll never find a relationship thats right
because i don't think anyone really understands me
and i also feel dumb because supposedly every teenager feels that way
but i look at some of my friends and see how in love they are
and that opens a whole new can of worms
because i'm lying to them as much as i used to lie to myself

my mom's friends ask me if i have a boyfriend or my eye on anyone
and i say i don't have a boyfriend, and i don't.
but it still feels like a lie because i'm not interested in a boyfriend
i want a girlfriend

i don't think a lot of people would care
i don't know why i haven't told anyone
but it feels like too precious a secret to face the world just yet