i am going insane over a love that cannot exist.
a love made not of soulmates
but a bond, a tether, a string
forged and formed by two creatures taken to understanding. to knowing.

knowing when one is wearing a mask for others.
knowing what the littlest twitches of muscles mean.
knowing where one is even in sleep.
knowing someone beneath what they project to the world.
knowing how to steady the world for one whom it blurs.

knowing and desiring to know.
hearing and keeping hold.
this love drives me mad
the soul of my heart aches for such a profound connection
yet the written words of other authors must suffice.

Go away depression,
The one that makes me question,
If I'm good enough,
Just checking,
Leaving me always guessing,
Go to therapy,
Another session,
More things I have to mention,
Receiving more direction,
We're not made for perfection.
I am looking for a profession,
To start with some progression,
I'll make a good impression,
And maybe change my perception.

Your feelings do matter,
So tell someone whom you can confide,
It's not weak to cry,
And don't bottle it up inside,
The world is also YOUR oyster,
So go out and explore,
And you always do matter,
Now today & before.

I play my guitar,
And strum all the strings,
I've written many songs,
About many different things,
The sound of the chords,
As they are played out,
And the song that I sing,
That comes out of my mouth.
I wrote songs about mental health,
And songs about doubt,
Songs about my dog,
And songs about standing out.
An instrument is a good thing,
A good thing to learn,
Because you express what's inside when you sing,
And get the happiness hormone in return.

Social Anxiety,
Doesn't mean that I'm weird,
You don't know me at all,
And I'll make it very clear,
I have many talents,
That you don't even see,
I'm good at many things,
And that's what makes me me.
When I go out,
I get quite overwhelmed,
The panic attacks are awful,
self conciousness turned up to 10,
I get mean looks
everywhere from strangers,
Staring into my face,
Trying to read me like a newspaper.
Getting laughed at isn't nice,
It doesn't help at all,
How would you like to be made feel, So very small?
Calling me awkward,
Making me feel like I'm less,
But wouldn't you act the same out in public,
If your mind was a ****** mess?
Step into my shoes,
And I'll give you what I have,
Is it funny anymore?
Now do you feel very bad?
You were mean to me,
When I was struggling like this,
How does it feel in my shoes,
If the perspective was switched?

You think that you know me,
When really you don't,
Can you spell out my full name,
I'd surely guess that you won't,
Do you know all my talents,
Or the passions I hold,
Or the places I've been,
Or the stories I've told.
Have you walked in my shoes,
Or the boots on my feet,
If you want to know me,
Come here and take a seat.
Don't listen to gossip,
That oozes from the slandering tongue,
Because they only do that,
When they want me to have no one.
It's jealousy that causes that,
So don't give a listening ear,
Ignore what they say,
Cause it only makes them sneer.
If you want to know me,
Ask me & not them,
Because what comes out from their mouth,
Is what they make up in their own head.

I'm not a famous author,
Or a poet writing books,
But I like to write what comes to mind,
And my rhyming's off the hook.
I don't know where I got it from,
It's probably just a creative mind,
I think outside the box,
And I don't like to be confined.
The words just flow out my brain,
As I write them down,
They all just come to me,
And I don't even know how.
It's just a skill I didn't give up,
And kept on practicing,
Writing, thinking & writing some more,
To see what my thoughts will bring.