My body is not the same
It hurts and I can't sleep long
I remember I used to sleep for days and days
Couldn't wake up if I wanted to
Dreaming vivid and wild things
I'm not sure when that stopped
But I don't dream anymore
And I can't sleep
And this body hurts me like I'm some kind of plague wreaking my havoc on its soft pink home

She runs her hands through your hair from underneath you as your hands caress her waist.
Her tongue draws back as just your lips collide once more.
Your hands press into her hips, holding her in place as you trail slow, gentle kisses along her neck.
Her breath hitches as you kiss her, stopping on particular places to leave a mark.
Your lips attach to hers quickly, flipping yourselves over so that she's on top of you.
You caress her gently, like she's the only person you need.
But why can't she be me?

I had a dream again.
A lovely one, with all but lust.
And yet I could feel everything.

I fell asleep in your arms, my skin on yours.
And a smile remained through the night.

I woke up this morning thinking of you,
And I searched for you in my sheets.
Then I realized.... I was a fool.

1.) I led  him on
2.) if you saw us together you would think we were dating
3.) at one point I wanted to kiss him
4.) at another point I didn't
5.) we held hands the second day
6.) I remember shopping with him
7.) I also remember crying in his car
8.) I cried when I heard his voice
9.) he gives the best hugs I've ever had
10.) I'm scared of commitment
11.) he's now moved and I don't know how I feel
12.) I'm so torn emotionally
13.) this is turning into a jumble of sentences and words that mean nothing
14.) I've always hated attention
15.) this is the same year I've cried in front of more people than I have in my lifetime
16.) I can feel us growing apart
17.) but I will always love you, always