As I sit here alone
Not an iota of thoughts
In my mind
Staring at the blankness
The darkness becomes deeper
As if I have walked into it
Thick black nothingness
Where only a dim light
Everything else has vanished
I me and myself
Confined in this area
Demarcated for the still mind
Not fear, but bewildered
What can darkness feel like
As it enters me
Fills every corner of my body
I am the darkness
Cannot distinguish the two
It feels good
Nothing to worry about
But getting acquainted with darkness
Face to face with myself
I can see clearly now

Wilting under the illusion
Created reality and life
Demons and monsters
Death and depression
Resigned to the situation
Death to thoughts
Minds are hijacked
Hope buried long ago
Life seems what it
Scripts and lectures
Singing dirges
Pain all around
Truth veiled
Love a distant dream

I thought by now I'd already be dead
Picked at my thoughts until sores and scabs opened up my head
Chewed at my brain until my thoughts were but shreds
Removed my skull
And filled my open cranium brimming with lead
Though a blank stare, and emptiness inside
Tears will make their weary way,
and so I cry
Though I want to so desperately,
I know I cant hide
That I can still remember that look in your eyes.

Sadness, pouring out of me,
Dripping on the floor.
Anger, rolling off in waves
And slamming out the door.

I wish that I could leave behind
The anger and the pain
And know that that's the end of it
I won't be hurt again

But we all know that family
Can hurt you more than most
They'll use and leave an empty shell
A broken soul, a ghost

I wish to sell my feelings for a dollar or two
Because I don't know how much longer I can go through
It's better not to feel then dealing with the pain
All it's good at is making your heart ache
I'm trying my best to act like I don't care
but in the end I'm the one that ended up feeling despair
"It's okay. I'm fine, there's nothing to worry."
Things you say to them when they tell you "I'm sorry"
So the same question I ask myself each time
What did I do to deserve to be treated like this?
Or maybe they have forgotten that I even have feelings...

she's always depressed
and for one reason
he's not here
and never will be
so her tears fall
smudging her mascara
and blinding her eyes