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Lonely Girl Oct 2020
When I found out you had cancer,
I was angry. Livid. Scared.
Although they gave you eighteen months,
It's nothing when compared.

No time would ever be enough,
To say our last goodbyes,
But Covid-19 took away,
The chance before you died.

You lived beyond those eighteen months,
You were stronger than us all!
You fought so hard with all you had,
But we reached your final call.

I miss you more than words can say,
Forever now apart,
Just knowing we won't speak again,
Weighs heavy on my heart.

Fly happy, with the angels, love
I'll miss you more, dear friend,
Until we meet at heavens doors,
On my memories, I'll depend

Lonely Girl Oct 2020
I lie awake in bed at night,
I can't drift off to sleep,
The thoughts I wish would disappear,
My brain decides to keep.

She rambles on, incessantly,
Each thought is filled with pain,
And if I try to intervene,
She simply starts again.

She thinks this life seems more like hell,
It's filled with death and fear,
We form attachments, fall in love,
Then lose those we hold dear.

We slave away at work each day,
There's nothing that's my own,
And all this, just to pay the bills,
For someone else's home.

She feels like there's no point to life,
She's living, just to cry,
And when we lie in bed each night,
She prays for me to die.

The scary part in all of this,
I'm starting to agree,
My mood each day is drawn from her,
But she was born, from me.

We are the same. I'm her, she's me,
Her thoughts echo my own,
And ultimately, if she's me,
It means, I'm all alone.
Lonely Girl Oct 2020
How is everyone?

I've recently returned from a gap in posting, hope everyone is well in this new crazy World!

Lonely Girl Oct 2020
I feel like I'm choking on emotions
Drowning in an ocean of my own tears
Slowly sinking into an abyss of past regrets
Unable to escape the shadows of my mind
That drag me down to the depths below

My screams go unheard, unanswered
Silenced by a sadness that wraps around me like seaweed
Holding me, drowning,  to my ocean floor
Waves of loneliness crash down on the surface
Keeping me trapped in an inky tomb of sorrow
Unable to breathe

I can't escape

Maybe I should just let go ...
Lonely Girl Oct 2020
I was going to write a poem,
Something witty, something fun,
But instead the words pop in my head,
About a Soldier and his gun.

I think about the wars of old,
And the wars still yet to come.
No difference in the way they feel,
A soldier and his gun.

So many battles won, some not
Each one with Soldiers lost,
They fight for king and country,
Without clear thought of cost.

And though the tragic loss of life,
Weighs heavy on my heart,
Without them, life would ever change,
With freedom torn apart.

So many soldiers lose their lives,
This knowledge, saddens me.
Those that survive, should walk with pride,
All thanks to you, I'm free!

With this, I write my words of thanks,
This poem's almost done!
I simply give my gratitude,
To each Soldier and his gun.
Lonely Girl Jan 2017
At night, when all the world's asleep
Is when I miss you most . . .

I miss the way you'd hold me tight
The way you'd stroke my hair
The little things like holding hands,
Just knowing you were there

I'd cuddle up and go to sleep
I felt so loved, secure
I always knew you'd keep me safe
My love for you was pure

I trusted you in every way,
I never felt afraid
I knew you'd keep me safe from harm
I loved the home we'd made.

But over time we grew apart,
You spent more time away
I never knew quite what went wrong
But distance grew each day

Then in the end you walked away,
I begged with you, I cried
But all you said is you were "done"
Your love was just a lie

You left and never once looked back
At least not right away
And by the time you changed your mind
We'd nothing left to say

With distance I gained clarity
I didn't want you back
I focus on the things I have
Instead of what I lack

I know I'm not the perfect girl,
I've never claimed to be
But somewhere out there, in the world
Is the perfect man for me

Who knows I'm not the perfect size
But loves me anyway!
He doesn't go off how I look
But how I act each day

And while I know that I'll move on
I grieve your loss each day
I think of what we had and shared
Together, In our way
Lonely Girl Jan 2017
I lie on the grass
Looking up at the Sky,
I'm asking you questions
The main one is 'Why?'

Why did you make me
With so many faults?
With so many secrets
I need my own vault?

Why did you give life
Then take it away?
Why did you give me
So much pain each day?

Why did you give me
The sorrow I feel?
Awake or asleep
This longing surreal?

I lie on the grass
Looking up at the sky?
I ask you my questions,
The main one being 'Why?'
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