Alan, the most wonderful and caring uncle God planted in my life
Your demise brought so much pain like I was stabbed with a knife
He stood for the perfect definition of love and bonds in family
That his departure almost made everyone dear to him tired of life
You taught me wonderful things with firmness, yet in love
Your happy and playful attitude, something you made us learn
You were simple and took life simply as it came
Everyday was a blessing you never failed to thank God for
I'd never felt so helpless my whole life that day you passed on,
I watched your once active body still in death and I couldn't wake you
I wanted to remove all those sheets around you and stroll with you
You were my father and you loved me like your own daughter
That image is something I could never block out  
I still don't know how to deal with you not being around,
I know this is something that would never pass easily
I don't wanna forget, because I don't want the image of you to fade
I want to place you in my heart always even though it aches
Tears come easily each time I remember the beautiful times we shared
My heart almost broke when your 3 year old daughter spoke with me,
That's a big responsibility I pray God help me to take,
You took care of us and left that little girl all by herself,
When she asked if I was coming on the phone I felt so bad,
I should have been there before she asked, she's my blood
And I promise I'm going to be there for her forever, as long as I live
I asked God to let me see you one more time, just one more time
And He did, 21 days after you died, I dreamt and saw you
I touched your hand and covered it with mine, it was warm
And you though dead, moved your other hand and covered mine too
You held my hand to your chest, it was the most wonderful feeling
I knew I ought to be scared, but no, I wasn't. I was grateful
And understand that you hold me dear to your heart.
I would always love you Alan, I would always love you Uncle.

They say time heals wounds. I’m still waiting for the time that hearing your voice won’t make me feel like there’s an elephant in my throat. I’m still waiting for the time that seeing your face won’t make my heart scream for you, ripping its own seams in the process. I’m still waiting for the time when passing you by won’t make me weak at the knees, won’t make my spine shiver and my lungs suffocate.

They say time heals wounds. How will my wounds heal when the knife is still in my back, when the bullets are still in my chest? How will my wounds heal when whenever I remember to live, your memory pours salt on my cuts? How will my wounds heal when you haven’t even returned what’s left of my heart yet?

They say time heals wounds. Does that mean that I won’t see your face whenever I close my eyes? Does that mean that I won’t find you in every song I listen to? Does that mean I’ll stop hugging myself to sleep at night, feeling homesick for you? Does that mean I’ll be able to love again? and how will I ever love again, when I often find my soul wandering in the places our love was born, searching for you?

You were a roped noose
I was a heart-shaped dagger
We were our demise.