promises
            we spoke
margins
            neared in
whispers

seams to dream
through teeth white

of falling drops from clouds

silver
lined

buttressed wrought
remember

clearly
stated
vows

recall
a whisper
      whisper
               in my ear.

Exhausted all my change calling you,
Didn't get through
Only to realise, *your line was dead

Hey girl
      *I caught you staring in the mirror again

       The same look of dissatisfaction painted clearly on your face
You look at your stomach and touch your waist
            Turn and look at your back with the same expression
       There may be wear and tear here and there, especially on your spirit, but that's not where you stare
          If you did you might see the most beautiful sight ever beheld by those big brown eyes
   
       See,
    A lot of men would see your thighs and to no surprise, try to get inside
      But I see your mind and what lies behind the obvious
           A question mark most would leave off the end of their sentence
            I could never forget it.
   I see the rocky road you've walked every time that we talk
        The gravel was never gentle on your soul
      But you continued until you came upon a house built from pain
  decided to stay and thought you'd be okay
      It slowly became a home where you grew into the furniture
    Your veins interlaced with fabric and every fabrication only wove you deeper
          And soon the drugs came to take you away only to fade and leave you to a fate stuck between these walls of abuse
     
                    I refuse
To let you go back
And even if you hate me now, I hope one day you'll understand and love me for that
                   See, I see a lot of things because I look past the mirror you fixate on
                    I've never had to see you as just a reflection
           But rather as perfection, because with every wrong direction you took to get to me it made the time we have together that much more meaningful
           And though your spirit may be bruised and tired, it refuses to give up,
It's gorgeous.
         


        
You've never had to see me as a reflection either. Every time you look at me, I'm anew. I'm not what's in a dusty mirror, and I'm not what's in a fading photograph. I'm a steady flame in your heart, and the most beautifully flawed smile I've ever seen. I could never thank you for all those small things you do without noticing. Nothing I write could touch upon the tip of the gratitude I hold in my heart for you. So I guess to come as close as I can in three simple words,

**I love you.

lead me around this mobile town smiling, I am impressed as
all are by your dress. Your nails so match immaculately
the scratches on my back. ******
my sanity off-key I crave your
vanity
desire
you devouring
me.

If you have ever worried about my presence
fading from your life, don't do it again.
I am somewhere on this earth,
starting over the count of my blessings and
praying for more.

I am at war with my soul.
She gives every obstacle that crosses our path
a home. She tends to push away from what
could possibly be a new beginning because
we've been told that we "ask for too much"
more than once.

I spend too much time being ******* at
people and the negativity they cause, and
the wrong that's in the world and how much
better it would be if positivity was what it
yearned for. And during those times,
I've noticed that the burdens I already carry
aren't as heavy anymore.

It's not easy living in a world where being
mentally imprisoned is socially okay, and
restricting yourself from the universe is
emotionally okay. That's not how it's
supposed to be.

It's not easy living in a world where love
struggles to find a home, and beings forget
that they are love. And showing
vulnerability is worse than not showing it
at all. That's not how it's supposed to be.

I've learned that the world can be a cold place,
and that it owes us nothing because it was
here first. So I have to keep on asking God for
the patience to get through these days, and to
gather the pieces to my puzzle at a steady pace.

I've learned that a big heart is a beautiful curse,
and that you are **** near lucky if you've been
blessed with one.  It can make it through the
darkest of nights and the brightest of days,
so many challenges and so much pain,
and remains in tact because of its strength.
The chances of giving are greater than receiving
because people have learned to be selfish and
stingy. I've asked God time and time again,
"Why did You give this to me?" And He
always replies and says that I need it for things
bigger than me. I need to show others that it is
okay to break down the concrete walls
surrounding their hearts and to let love in.

I've learned that you can't count on any and
every thing. For it all has their own seasons in
which they play a role in your life. But what
you gain from it is what will stay.
Have expectations but don't let them be too
high because others may walk away and
things may not be able to be what you want
anyway.

No matter how great the distance may be,
no matter how many minutes pass each day,
no matter how far you think I have strayed,
I will always be here. Trials and tribulations
may come, but I enter lives and stay.

So don't ever question the roles we have in
each other's lives. Don't distance yourself
because "I'm fine." Don't ever believe I
love you any less than before. Because I
am simply somewhere on this earth,
starting over the count of how many blessings
I have and praying for more.
*61014

She sits and stares
at tired eyes,
the cracks in her face,
mica reflections
of what once was
a beauty queen.

So vibrant &
full of life,
she possessed
astronomical-hope,
was a lover of stars
& moon glow,
as radiant as
a burning sun,
fun was her
middle name.

And as she gazes
at what once was
somebody's dream,
tears stream down
the still lovely
cheek bones,
that in times past,
turned heads
& created
broken hearts
like hers.

O my,
how fast
time
goes by.

Standing over you as the pleading begins,
Forgive my father for the justice I bring,

You murdered my Husband and tore my life apart,
Laughed in the courtroom no remorse in your heart,
No fear of anyone or being locked inside,
Her majesty's prisons filled you with pride,
An animal in a cage with more privileges than my own,
provided for the brutal ****** of a man walking alone,

A test victim for the gang, so they would let you in,
Robbing 'the rich *******' widened your drug filled grin,
One punch, one **** as his head cracked off the ground,
The laughter of your 'friends' were suddenly drowned,
As my husband convulsed and took his last breath,
You cowardly ******* stole his life and left,
He would of survived if you gave him a chance,
You could have called for an ambulance!

Instead I’m without a husband and a doting father of two,
The love drained from my heart as my blood runs cold blue,
I've waited ten years to take your pathetic ******* life,
I'll Carve you into pieces with this butchers knife!
Or shall I make this easy? With a bullet in the head?
I doesn't really matter as long as you’re dead!

Please let me go, I beg of you!
Your children will have no parents, if you go through,
with taking my life, you would be the main suspect,
Burdened with ****** and full of regret,
your husband wouldn't want this from you.....

YOU DARE SPEAK OF HIM, ILL CUT YOU IN TWO,

I BEG YOU, AND I’M NOT THE SAME MAN!
I WAS JUST A YOUNG BOY, BRAINWASHED BY THE CLAN!!!

I live with the guilt every night and day,
Praying to god to show me the way,
I have a family of my own, I've made a new start,
You **** me now? You tear another family apart.
Look in my wallet, there’s a picture inside,
of my wife and my daughter the root of my pride,

I work for charities to help victims of crime,
to help children to escape from the gangs born from the grime,
I vow I won't tell anyone of what you have done,
I understand your reasons, and why they begun.

UNDERSTAND? UNDER ******* STAND?
Coming from the man that killed my love, with his bare hands?
The man that sneered as he looked me in the eyes,
Laughed at his sentencing as he watched my daughter cry?
Who walked out of prison and began a new life,
While mine was finished when I became a widow of a wife,
Taking medication to keep my suffering inside,
Being sectioned for my illness, my daughters are in care,
Your luxury of a life? Do you think that it’s fair?

I have no reason to live, no family left,
The only peace I will have, is to watch your last breath.....

She never skips a micro-meal
She's familiar with her own late night solo acts
Reaching down, drenched nine fathoms deep

He's on the outside looking in
Slipping on his finger-less gloves
Hiding behind a smile as his feet take him
Somewhere dead

Over-stuffed mellow-dramatics
Prima Donas and drama queens

Its four o'clock I need, a pick me up
It's too early for this, I need my stuff
Oh, it's nothing, don't ask me what

It's time, time for my medicine
It's time, that time yet again
It's time, my habitual regimen

Soul subtraction brings me satisfaction
Eternal extraction gives me satisfaction

Security
Comfort
Vindication

Means to an end
All's well that ends well
I mean well
Well, ****

       -Tommy Johnson