I remember I enjoyed drinking thinking I was a bad person. I'd share a story or two with my peeps hoping to feel find closure. Never cared to do drugs but a close friend did a line of coke right in front of me. People changed my addiction consumed me. Another friend stole so she could get her fix but it never made things right. The day she stole from me things changed. I needed to clean up. I realized alcohol made me tolerant to people because I didn't always agree or understand it would blind my judgement. I didn't like others speaking on my behalf or representing me. Once I quit drinking times got hard. My friends fall away. I changed but they think I'm that same person no longer that person anymore. Older wiser and never the same sober living has made me alone. I would question everything but I only question my actions and what I want looking for so I can achieve my goals and dreams.

i know there's still bits and pieces of you that aren't quite undead yet
felt almost impressive to mean something
or somebody who can alter your possessiveness, left
the wedding ring and pretending to be old on your dresser
lay out and fade away star-born reflected off morning waves
the highs and lows, most have been so low and you standing high
getting into my phone and claiming to protect me from other people
bringing your guns out for the summer sun again, sabatoging
all my connections to the outside world, i still wonder why
you bother teasing me and thinking this is more than a charade
but there's still got to be something inside you that still cares

Little things started to rile
by all odds,
not quite like the ache
head leant against your back.

Under cover a long dull hum
I thought of ghosts,
but I faced down the quake
until your aura had been caved in.

Like a god in disguise from on high
withdrawn with no words
but with human inability to break
and get the best from doing wrong.

Little tale or true story
him and her trying each other out
but got back to the ways of their own.
"The pagan and the profane on an isle."