I can't begin to fathom how to describe how this feels.
It feels good like a cup of coffee in the morning,
But it also feels like an afternoon crash.
It feels like a high so good
But also a withdrawal most painful.
It feels like everything
Yet nothing at the same time.

I feel sick
sick of you, sick of most everyone
sick of being tired and sick of being sick
I am fine and I am alive but there are corrosive chemicals around me
I am the most beautiful, unique creation, the summit and foundation
of this Earth- as a human person I am limitless but
I feel a poison eating away at me and I know exactly what to do to avoid it
for there are only a few who make me feel whole,
a few people, a few situations-
and I do not want to be fixed, I do not need that, no mortar or
molds to repair, all I need
is to stop being eroded- bit by bit,
and to stop crumbling into the deep-
and from there, I can repair myself-
I am good enough now
stop tearing me down,
I would like to shake off whatever chains have been laid on me
for though my body is restricted,
my soul is deeply, unbelievably free.

I am almost completely over her
After an intense period of
What I thought was love
I realized I need a happy person
A happy, free, adventurous person
Who can love me
Just as much as they love themselves

I need the the feeling of lips on lips
To patch the damage done
I need you to repair me with your touch
Break my walls one by one

She is different, you know?
She shines a brighter light
She smiles a brighter smile
She is like the Sun,
Everything revolves around her.
Seasons change because of her and I fall in love like I fall for autumn
Every winter she makes hot chocolate for two even though she is alone because
The idea
Of sharing yet another Christmas by
Herself
Is too painful.
She pours it in a cup and let it sit by her side.
She imagines someone will walk through the door and sit by her side.
She imagines he will smell the beverage and
Smile
At
Her
She imagines someone will walk through the door and care.
She bakes cookies for four and gives them away to people with a smile.
But she smiles and somehow I can see it is broken.
Her smile is broken.
Her laugh is empty.
She is different, you know?

Listen to your desire,
hear it as clearly as I do.
It touched my heart,
and feelings bled through.
Sharing this love,
A reflection of me and you.
Senses aren't always right,
Nor love, always true.
Cause reason, and emotion often confuse
What our hearts intent, instructs us to do;
My need is to love you...
My want is to be loved too.
Preferably; by you.
Right now; these dreams will do.
Amiss the actual,
I wish, this one wish
Would become two.