A Misuse of nature
the tall oak
up on the hill
With strong branches
a place to hang out
with the crows
at least
they didn't do it
here in town.

I've been hit again.
My mind
suddenly begins to think
how do I get away
I am cornered.
not yet I tell myself.
After the beating finishes,
(Only because they are tired now)
I walk painfully to my room.
My ***
feels like it's been shot.
My body
feels like it has been pulled apart twice.  
I sit down,
lift my mattress,
the blade lies here.
I look at it, craving its sharp clarity.
My wrists are the matching fit.
Cut cut
I think.
No one will miss me anyhow
I think.
But then
I imagine people's faces,
when they hear the news.
When they hear
how despicable the idea was
that I killed myself.
I don't lift my blade.
I let it rest.
"Till next time, friend"
I whisper to it.
I cannot speak,
my mouth has been punched in so many times,
It is as if the great pyramid rests on my lips.
My skin is raw,
carpet burn everywhere.
I tried to get out.
I really did
Like the blade,
I want to be sharp,
yet feel so dull.
Though I have not,
my heart has already killed itself.
Time
is not of the essence
anymore
No
Never again.
I will not
let them take this life.
That's my job
And quite frankly,
Im not ready just yet
So I will keep hanging on.
Just a little at a time.
I will let myself fall,
that way I can learn how
to pick myself up
all by myself.
Yes,
I do not need the blade.
I am Strong.
Strong
Strong
Strong.
*hope

God, I wish I were in Colorado
Driving down a dusty rural highway,
Beholding colossal mountains
Emerging from the horizon,
And feeling the sunlight around me
Gradually turn into snow.

There, the air befuddles the mind,
Diverting thoughts,
Altering time.
The mountains form a fortress,
Serving as a refuge to lonely travelers;
A sanctuary of serenity;
A place where spirits soar with the eagles,
Dance in the crisp, motherly breeze,
And meditate in the dense forest.
Tension dissipates,
Gratification is gained,
And convalescence commences.

God, I wish I were in Colorado.

Say the right thing
which was what again
good morning is a good start
but
that is too
cheerful
i'm not here by choice
can I complain
that would be natural
No normal people are polite.