This is me giving it a try.
This is me wanting to turn back time.
This is me hoping that you will that you will stop making me cry.
This is me wishing everything is fine.

This is my pitiful attempt at wanting you back.
This is my stupid plan thinking you would maybe pick up the phone
This is my neurotic brain thinking you can fill what I lack.
This is my romantic heart feeling sorry for being alone.

This is me trying.
This is me breaking down.
This is me lying.
This is me leaving town.

i panic
seeing you,
hearing your voice,
feeling your touch;
just when i know,
the eyes deceive,
the ears mock,
the heart lies;
because nothing,
nothing is more cruel
than that,
that could have,
that should have,
that would have,
have been;
if only, if only
we waited,
we stayed,
we fought;
but we didn't,
we didn't.

is letting go
is moving on
is a cliche romcom plot line

means giving up
means running away
means losing us

is all those things
is leaving my everything
is accepting nothing
is what I need

you: what isn't when there is
i: what is when it isn't


me: who left when there isn't any loss
you: who stayed when too much is lost


her: when will you leave
him: when will you stay


us: how will this end
we: how will it ever begin

*end of conversation

I was so high I didn't recognise
the message you've always been saying,
the fire burning in your eyes
while I kept talking, screaming and crying.

Come on just last the year
are words I've been repeating,
pour a little salt we were never here
I hear you singing as you were sleeping.

Just come over and lie here with me
Were you lying?
'cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see
I was crying.

Goodbye, my hopeless dream*
I kept repeating, and
I'm trying not to think about you
until tomorrow morning.