Remember the first good day we spent?
The sea washed out the sand at our feet,
The city lights twinkled like the stars above.
Only, these were the stars we could touch.
It was the first I'd seen of your carefree laugh;
I told myself then, I haven't seen it enough.
I still haven't had enough of it...

She said, 'The city lights are the stars,
They twinkle in the shrouded night.
I have been waiting for someone
To help me reach for the light.'

It's like I'm in a dream...
Were we together in our past lives?
I was holding this torch forever,
In the darkness, I could only burn bright,
For my neverending love, to seek the forgotten light;
To reunite, and spark into flames together,
Like the Sun, warming, *burning, with it's light;
And I finally found you, through all those blackest nights.

He said, 'If this was meant to be,
I will die over & over again to be in different eras with you.
*To live forever despite living various lives,
To live in the end and die in the beginning!'

Where can I find 
the meaning of peace
when someone's dying every second
because of an empty plate 
and weapons that end a fate

Who can we blame
For the massacre that never ends
Where lives of innocence
treated like ants
Ignorance of what we don't know
Blinded by the media who always
puts on a show

Why is it that we rage 
when we have words
flowing from our minds, 
giving all the answers 
in a rough day

When will this end?
The earth's crying
"Please just **** me completely"
Viruses and disease
engulfs the poverty
But not the rich?
Are we really that blind to see
They preach justice but own the earth to attain power

How bad is the earth's wounds
as blood slowly drips
polluting the soil
creating trapped remains
buried deep in the ground,
never wanting to be found

Every cry of a new born child
Burnt, due to the one who
preached peace
But enslaving the innocence
Not able to savour the taste of the earth
Every mother bathe in blood
Crying in agony as the child dies
Every day is a war that everyone must fight to survive...

but why do they choose to fight, when they can choose to live in peace?

11/26/14

*-Adele ft. Erenn

Mama warned me countless of times
Never walk alone along the alley at night, "Call me or papa to pick you up"
I took it lightly, thinking it was just another preach-teach
If only I'd listened to her
If only I was stronger

I still walked lightly drunken down that alley that
horrible night,
a pure, broken white lamb limping down the street
just waiting for a black fox of the night to
come enrapture me,
take me away from everything,
as I stood, cold and uncomforted from the night's drunken stupor,
and crying.

As I keep on walking
His voice was still there
In my head screaming,
"You deserved this, shut up!
Wearing like a desperate ****!
Just let me taste you stupid ****!!!"
No matter how i screamed, his immense hands shrouding my mouth tightly.
The more i screamed, the more pain he puts me in.

A couple shoves,
a few bruises,
a yank,
and my silenced whimpers
as he ferociously goes in,
once, twice, too many times.
I'm trapped, heaving...
I should have listened to Mama...

Flashbacks ran through my head
How defiant I am towards my parents
How I always skipped anything physical, always judging girls on how they look.
It's happening to me now
I can do nothing but cry and give in
When he was done, he told me he'll **** my whole family if I tell the police.
I continue walking as my worth fading slowly.

And my fire burned out,
as I stopped struggling,
stopped making any noises,
and just lay still,
as he licked me and caressed me,
he's new found toy,
only to be tossed away later.

As I finally reached my nest,
I couldn't find the words to tell mama.
Not one person, not my boyfriend, not a soul. His face still haunts me every now and then.
He became this demon in my head
That will never go away.
It's been months now,
But this demon got my soul caged
And my lips zipped.
Not a single soul will ever know

Sham wow.
we shall slaughter our cows
and swim in the blood, my pal
No more plowing for these cows
I insist now that we bathe.

Sham wee.
I have to disagree
we've been bartering and broke
alas to these cows gave us meat
See our fields, vast and free
seeds of gold will make us rich!

A sham? It's a shame.
Selling paint and pans to you my man
a **** dripping payment
wishful thinking
I wish I had a *** to **** in
Kids in their Plymouths shouting
it's pathetic
I'd pepper spray any jaded figure
if they told me they had regrets

Let them run their mouths
Kids will be kids even when they're 33
Their Plymouths breaks down every week
jaded figure my ***, flaws they experienced
By inheritance they succeed
They age like any old man swerving their needs
We will have regrets if you don't listen to me.

Listen here
all wishing of life supreme
follow the divine ruler an ye shall not crumble
pests. 33 men or 33 boys?
whilst you waste sand deciphering,
thy kingdom withers
A **** drunk man hath no memory
no manners
torn lips. I twist at the sides waiting for death
succumb to regret and I shall spare no gratitude

Don't be deluded, you're just drunk
You're still 23 living in that big oak tree
If it wasn't for me
You'll be living in the streets
Let's finish this
Or u can bury yourself deep
within your life's agony

I detect mutiny
You trip over words while you question my authority
if a tellers words match a tellers hands, then why worry?
but I feel your dishonesty
I see it in the air you breathe
I question you because I can
Because I should
**Because I am
Supreme

Lisa thought she was the only
One at the park. Who else would
Be here at this hour?
She squinted to see...
An old lady was sitting out
Under the big oak tree.
Lisa was frightened at first!
A ghoul or a ghost...
Was it eating at her soul?!
She drew near, relieved to see
The old lady using her phone.
"Ma'am, what are you doing here
At this hour? Are you lost?
I can help you get home..."
The older woman regared her
Carefully. She took in her
Clothing and appearance, and her
Sincerity... then relaxed.
"Oh! Thanks my dear!" She said,
Relieved. "My son was to pick
Me up, but it looks like he is
Having car trouble. Your help
Home would be SO appreciated.
I don't live far. It's dangerous
Walking alone at night these days."
Lisa gladly confirmed.
"Sure, ma'am. I thought I was
The only one out here... haha..."
Her pretense was obvious. She'd
Never been to the park alone before.
She was only there because...
That's where he proposed to her.
That's where they'd danced together.
That's where they had carved their
Names in the big oak tree...
... where she would never spend
Her life with him... she would never
See him ever again...
"Thank you my dear. You know,
In this neighborhood some of the
Young men escort little old ladies
Across the street... even when they
Don't want to go..."
The elderly woman chuckled, but
Noticed that the young woman
Did not...
"Is there something wrong, my dear?" She asked gently.
Lisa stopped the car and started
Crying. She couldn't take it anymore.
Hiding behind pretense. The pain
In her heart brought her to her
Wit's end...
"He proposed to me there... under
That big oak tree... he died
So suddenly... he promised that
He would never leave me...!"
The lady looked down sadly.
Softly, slowly, she put her old
Gnarled hand on the girl's shoulder.
She recognized the need for a
Human's touch...
Lisa's tears became sobs of
Inconsolable grief.
"My dear child..."
She let Lisa cry. When the girl was
Ready she would tell her story.
Finally the tale of Jim unfolded.
Her fiance' he had died three months
Ago in an auto accident. Lisa
Couldn't "get over it". Nobody
Understood, Lisa said again and again. She and Jim had had an argument the day before his death.
"If only I had been more sensitive to his feelings!"
This lead to more angry outbursts
About nobody understanding...
... and how he had left her alone.
"Dear... my name is Emma." The elderly woman was soft. Soothing.
"I lost my husband two years ago
To cancer. I still grieve..."
Lisa snapped. "Now you're going to tell me that you know how I feel...
Well you don't! Nobody does! "
Emma looked at her with understanding and compassion.
"No, dear. Nobody does. Including me.  Your grief is your own. You must have loved him very much.
This much I do know. Those who love much grieve all the more..."
Lisa began to cry again in great gasping paroxyms of the soul...
Quietly she pulled out some Kleenex and handed them to the girls. Then
She pulled out a business card and wrote on the back of it...
"Here is my phone number. This is also the numberand address for a group. Other people who have lost loved ones. It is hosted by a woman who lost her family in WWII. She
Is renouned in her field. We talk about every aspect of this process. Physical. Emotional. Mental and Spiritual.
Dear, when you lose someone who you love deeply you go through a process. You don't get over it right away regardless of what "people" think. Please. This is important. Consider joining us, okay? "
Lisa looked at the card Emma offered a bit doubtfully but thoughtfully.
She took it with shaking fingers.
"I'll think about it," she said. "My
Name is Lisa by the way..."
Emma smiled warmly.
"Pleased to meet you, Lisa. Thank you for sharing your story with me.  I truly believe that it does help."
Lisa looked in Emma's kind eyes, and found herself smiling as well.
Maybe... just maybe... this lady could be a friend.
"Maybe I could pick you up for
These meetings..." Lisa said tentatively.
Emma beamed. "Call me," she said.
"I really could use a ride..."
Lisa felt a warmth come to her heart for the first time in a long time.

She put the car in gear and drove her new friend home.


(c) Erenn**
(c) Soulsurvivor