I've got a secret
Kept it hidden well
It's destroying my soul
And gonna send me to hell
But I like how it feels
I love how it tastes
It's fun and invigorating
When I'm testing my fate
It boggles my mind
And clouds my eyes
Helps me become numb
And stops all the cries
I can smell the memories
Fading out of my life
With every pop, snort
And brand new knife

Not one
but both
no preference
too scared to go too far
curled into material happiness
too far gone to come back
awake but asleep
until morning
and even then
alone again

Did you wonder if
I caught your glances?
Yes, of course I did
and, I know you caught mine
No, it wasn't infatuation
it was a fascination that
your face graces my imagination
Yes, a shared moment,
and then quickly over

earth* borne, on
water drifted;
fire reborn, on
air uplifted

Sometimes  I wanna be a scarf
   Just using my hands wrapped around your neck
     To keep you warm
        May  seem like I'm choking you but I'm not
     My hands can be your mittens

I was all edges and jaded eyes
Long before
you met me, with sweet smiles
- all teeth
My laugh gets louder
I get taller
But I was only edges
Before you met me

I'm sorry but I think
You would've liked me
Before when I was innocent,
always straightforward

Than this twisted
Hardened joke I've become.

You need to go.
Before I become too dependent
You have to go.