You feel like you're drowning,
Somewhere along fainting and dying,
Like you're trying to scream and nothing but air comes out,
You can't focus on anyone or everything,
Feels like you're crawling out of your skin,
Just trying to find a way out.

They might confuse it for simply zoning out,
And it might just seem like a simple "zone out" sometimes
but you know deep inside what it is,
Its your dearest friend: anxiety
Its beng rude and simply attacking you,
but please say to yourself "it will pass, it will pass"
And usually, it does

The words hang on in the still air, crooked and clumsy.
Face down I trace patterns into the mattress.
Focus, breathing in, breathing out.
If I tried to move, I would break apart.
Liquid in these lungs spilling out of this open mouth.
Weighed down, sinking deeper and deeper.
These swirls and lines lifting, floating, whirling.
I hear nothing past the pulse pounding behind my ears.
Stronger, faster, it hums beneath this ivory skin.
Only if I could escape the hysterics that hide in my throat.
Bubble underneath the surface, threatening to convulse.
Quicker my breath comes, fighting past this ocean of uncertainty.
It stretches before me, I consider breaking the surface.
A clean cut on the smooth gray, deeper and deeper.
I take the plunge, and into this darkness I relax.
Comfortable, I stretch my legs, I pull these veins out by the roots.
Beating within my hand, I squeeze.
Familiarity overwhelms me, isn’t this what forever feels like?

My body ached
And quaked
Like the earth
Imitating what it was
A natural disaster

- p.d.e

Whilst you screech,
Through ships sails,
Like a thousand banshees,
Your icy, scarce warm touch,
Gives me shivers and sweats,
as you howl into spaces,
Destroying bark,
And concrete structures,
Underreckening,
Of her tactual sensation,
and power.

she is better than anything
she gave me unconditional love
infinity
the hopes she inspired me
to see the power to see
over the horizon
the courage to
stand tall
to reach it