1: Am I the only one I know waging these wars behind my face and above my throat?
I'm all alone
2: When the waters rise in the storms of life I will stand secure in you
You are all I have
3: If I could then I'd shrink the world tonight so that I could find you and me inside
I can lean on you
4: Just cause you think it don't make it so
Can I trust you?
5: Baby come on over I don't care if people find out
No
6: I know what you think in the morning when the sun shines on the ground
You aren't worth it
7: Why are you strivin these days? Why are you tryin to earn grace?
I'm not worth it
8: Never win first place, I don't support the team
I'm not worth anything
9: Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking, when you fall everyone stands.
I'm invisible
10: I just want to run
No one will notice if I die
11: Hello my name is regret, I'm pretty sure we have met
I want to die
12: When life leaves you high and dry I'll be at your door tonight if you need help
You can't save me from myself
13: Be careful what you're wishing in the dark
Will anyone miss me?
14: You're killing my resistance now I have to let go
It's time
15: I can't take them on my own, oh I'm not the one you know
Thank you
16: There's no way to say this song's about someone else
Thank you
17: I should ink my skin with your name
Thank you for saving me
18: I don't know where you're going or when you're coming home I left the keys under the mat
I miss you
19: Night falls with gravity, the earth turns from sanity
No one will care if I die
20: Oh, well imagine, as I'm pacing the pews of a church corridor...

I thought you liked me
As a friend
And nothing more
Which killed me.

But I liked you
As so much more.
As more than a friend.
As that guy
Who would tie my shoes
And open my doors
And kiss my forehead.

As that guy who
Texts first in the morning
And last at night.

I loved you.

And now I know,
You will open my doors
And tie my shoes
And kiss my forehead.

And text me all day,
Not just in the morning
Or night.

Because you don't like me as a friend.
You like me as so much more.

And that gives me life.

You were one of those boys
Who I'd known since I was 4,
And who got confirmed in the
Christian faith
Six weeks ago.

One of those boys
Who joked around in class
In a way that made the tescher smile.

One of those boys
Who I was happy to have in my squad
For gym
Because I knew we would win
Team Handball.

He was a guy
Who was completely comfortable
If I referanced second grade,
Even if my memory
Embarrassed him.

Someone who was so happy
To go to highschool
And be on the football team,
And who had already made friends
With all the players.

And he was one of those boys
Who we all knew
Would be the one to score the winning goal.

I thought that he would always be there.
Because boys like Bennett Rill are rare.

We know it by the
Huge blinking lights
From rides that
Tend to make people
Throw
Up
Dairy Queen.

We know it by
Those big, intricate
Winding tatoos
That snake up the arms
Of half of the attendees
That have a message
That I can't read.

We know it by
Little children
Clinging,
Terrified,
To the hands of their
Irresponsible mothers.

And we know it
By inhaling so much
Secondhand smoke
That we're almost positive
That a little lung cancer
Has invaded our privacy.

We know it by
The Herndon Festival.

And we love it.

I'm that friend
Who you ask to the mall
On those weekends
Where it's so nice
And sunny
That everyone's at the beach.

I'm that friend
That you walk home
With
On days
Where everyone else
Has mountains of
Homework.

I'm the friend
That you ignore
When they text you
Because they're so
THICK
That they're
Too stupid
And
Desperate
To take the hint.

I will never be your first choice.
But I can settle for last.

If it means
Going to the mall
With you
On those weekends
Where it's so nice
And sunny
That everyone's at the beach.

If it means
Walking home
With you
On days
Where everyone else
Has mountains of
Homework.

And if it means
Getting that one text
Saying that
You
"Have to go"
And you'll
"Ttyl."

I'll settle for that.

He got expelled this time.

He wasn't sent to
In-school suspension
Or lunch detention
Or the counselor's office.

He was expelled from
Fairfax County Public Schools.

And his friends all freaked.

They sat outside the school
Every morning
And wouldn't go in
To protest.

They signed a petition
That called him a
"Well rounded student"
And
"Well loved by the student body."

I didn't love Brian.
I hated Brian.

Brian was the kid
Who always
Made the class
Stay late.

He was the kid who
Went through the halls
Grabbing peoples butts.

He was the kid that
All the guys wanted to be
And all the girls wanted to have.

And instead of sending him off
To West Point
Where he would have to
Shave his Bieber hair and
Follow the rules for once,
The county revoked the expulsion.

And to me
It seems like
A celebrity murdered someone
And because a thousand fan letters were sent in
They got to go free.

I think that
They believe
They can hide me
In a box
Forever.

They
"Only
Want
To
Protect
Me."

But it isn't
Protection
When
The surface
Isn't
Permeable.

Nothing gets in
And
Nothing gets out.

And
There isn't
Air to
Breathe.