young  emotion
enclosed
in an inexperienced heart
enclosed
in a tired heart
with a  heartbeat
forever young
as a bud
forgot
hidden
in
a withered
fruit

my name
a whisper
sweet and warm
just to hear
its  melody
you told
and fill the air
of you

your name
a whisper
sad and painful
just to hear
its melody
a memory
to fill the void
you left

I am me
I am naive
I am physically strong
And emotionally weak

I am a man
The biggest of labels
The words that others
Use to define us

I am a man
But I don't let that define me
I have a feminine side
And that's my reality

So hard is it
To live like this
In a world where you are expected to be
What you are physically

I'm constantly in motion
I cannot sit still
My mind often wanders
So I work hard to stall the stray

When I get home
Things get hard
I think of the love I desire
And how few people truly feel my fire

It's these feelings that make me press on
These feeling that fuel the fire
I write these words
Because I'm feeling inspired

If you're ever on the riverside
where the sun beats your head
you would see the old man
selling hats of palm leaf
but you care not to notice him
having already smelled the sea
and too keen to cross the river
travel southward on the island
till the saline wind scalds your eyes
your skins itch to jump into the waves
yet the man with the palm leaf hats
would not cease to tell you
how burning would be the sun on the sands
and so badly you need to protect the head
by parting bucks that mean nothing to you
but a world to the mouths he feeds
and before you stamp on him a final no
she has one atop her hair
beneath which her eyes flutter like butterflies
her sun rouged cheeks untimely blush
and two born anew lovers
merrily head for the sea
having bought romance
for forty bucks.

I am in limbo
      between universes
between stars
I am ensconced
       in my own light
in tangible luminance
stored deep inside
                   tiny
                      glass jars
I am whirling into new orbit
     as I take on this luster,
                 this shine
I furl forth choices
in magic spells weaving
                   and take back        
what was always
so rightfully mine
I now hold the staff
      that will part the seas
of my new way
       in this labor
because, honey, there
ain't no time
to waste
no horse
        no glowing, knighted savior
Until this hour
              I was crawling
         but I now I start to rise
as I have my final say
               and the northern lights
         spew out from behind my eyes
I am through with
          this land of ice, land of jagged spires
It is time to bust up
             all those submissive plans
          and spray the whole
place with arctic fire
yeah time to mark it
juice it up
till it licks up pain, till it burns
release pent up years
              of unneeded conflict,
of tensed up
           twists and turns
so just you try
to break me apart
as I try to navigate
between tectonic plates
on two lands
The only knight here
          is my own true self
the situation neatly
in my
     hot little hands

Pills Pills Pills
Catch me in free-fall
A medicated safety net

I wear my diagnosis
          Major Depressive Disorder
Like a scarlet letter

Existing on an island
          Between crazy and calm
          Lost and found

Pills Pills Pills
Pull me out of obscurity
So I can begin to forget.

my darling is fearful
I want the best for her
she is sad but she's the luminous moon
you would disagree and cause a stir

I told you that you aren't your fear
you let it define you anyway
she called to her voices
told the darkness to stay

the moon was hiding from me
no where to be seen yet right in front of me
I looked right through her, she was not the same
locked up inside but her craters spoke I'm free

-a.h.